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    GNL685's Avatar
    GNL685 Posts: 170, Reputation: 9
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    #1

    Jun 5, 2009, 12:51 PM
    What can I do?
    Ok here goes bear with me please.. My son's father (we are not married but he is on the birth certificate and no he is not paying child support) well he was watching my son during the week and I was taking him on the weekends so I could go to school to become a medical assistant. Seeing as he doesn't have a job I didn't see the problem in that. Well he told me 2 months ago he was moving to Canada to get his life together.. he is a citizen there... his mom and sis have been taking my son every OTHER weekend as they see fit to be convenient for them. I heard rumors of people seeing him around but was never for sure. Well his younger sister (not the one who takes him other weekends) told me that he is still living at his moms house this whole time! I haven't heard from him in 2 months and got suspicious because his mom won't let me drop my son and pick him up anymore as I have been doing for a year. This means that they have been letting him see my son behind my back without my knowledge. Is there anything legally I can do about this? I am tired of these games and his games to get out of paying support and watching him. I was about to let my mom in FL take my son for 7 months to graduate and I have been crying myself to sleep every night at the thought of not seeing him for that long and the thought of him not having a father. Only to find out its all a lie. Is there a way I can make him watch him during the week so I can go to school and not have to send him to FL?
    GNL685's Avatar
    GNL685 Posts: 170, Reputation: 9
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    #2

    Jun 5, 2009, 12:54 PM

    Also when they were watching him I was buying him diapers and bringing food to their house every month about 400$ worth so its not like I abandoned him over there as his sister tries to say I did
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #3

    Jun 5, 2009, 12:57 PM

    You cannot make him do anything.

    You can go to court and have them make him pay child support. Other than that, you cannot make him be a father.
    GNL685's Avatar
    GNL685 Posts: 170, Reputation: 9
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    #4

    Jun 5, 2009, 12:59 PM

    I don't even want his support I can make him give up his rights correct? What goes with doing that? Is it just a paper for him to sign?
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #5

    Jun 5, 2009, 01:00 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    i dont even want his support i can make him give up his rights correct? what goes with doing that? is it just a paper for him to sign?
    No - you cannot make him give up his rights. He cannot give up his rights unless you are remarried and there is someone that wants to adopt.

    You can not let your child go to his family's place. THEY have no rights.
    GNL685's Avatar
    GNL685 Posts: 170, Reputation: 9
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    #6

    Jun 5, 2009, 01:03 PM

    So all I can do is make him pay child support? Damn where are m y sons rights? That's not fair that he will get away with eveyrthing so easy oh well I guess that's life >.<
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #7

    Jun 5, 2009, 01:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    so all i can do is make him pay child support? damn where are m y sons rights? that's not fair that he will get away with eveyrthing so easy oh well i guess that's life >.<
    What rights is your son lacking?

    What is he getting away with (that you are not allowing him to)?
    GNL685's Avatar
    GNL685 Posts: 170, Reputation: 9
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    #8

    Jun 5, 2009, 01:17 PM

    Well he's WILL be lacking ME because he has to stay in FL with my mom for 7 months... I live in MA and his father WAS until today getting away with me thinking he was in Canada and dodging the responsibility he had of watching his son during t he week. Since he didn't want to get a job me finishing school is me and my sons only shot at a future.. and if I don't finish I'm 17k in debt from student loans. And I getting away with acting like a babysitter rather than a father.. m yson is 2 and I had to fight him to give me 40$ and they are supposed to be going after him for child support but they apparently haven't done it yet
    cdad's Avatar
    cdad Posts: 12,700, Reputation: 1438
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    #9

    Jun 5, 2009, 02:03 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    well hes WILL be lacking ME because he has to stay in FL with my mom for 7 months...i live in MA and his father WAS until today getting away with me thinking he was in Canada and dodging the responsibility he had of watching his son during t he week. since he didnt want to get a job me finishing school is me and my sons only shot at a future..and if i dont finish im 17k in debt from student loans. And i getting away with acting like a babysitter rather than a father..m yson is 2 and i had to fight him to give me 40$ and they are supposed to be goin after him for child support but they apparently haven't done it yet
    He doesn't have to stay in Florida that's your choosing. And who is " they " that is chasing him for child supprt ? Did you tell them he went to canada ?
    GNL685's Avatar
    GNL685 Posts: 170, Reputation: 9
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    #10

    Jun 5, 2009, 02:27 PM

    No he lied about going to canada he never went he lied to get out of watching the baby during the wekk. And he does HAVE to stay in FL either that or I have to quit school.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #11

    Jun 5, 2009, 02:34 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    no he lied about going to canada he never went he lied to get out of watching the baby during the wekk. and he does HAVE to stay in FL either that or I have to quit school.
    Because there is no daycare in MA? Again, school and sending your child to FL are choices that YOU make
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #12

    Jun 5, 2009, 02:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stevetcg View Post
    Because there is no daycare in MA? Again, school and sending your child to FL are choices that YOU make
    You must have missed the other thread, where she's trying to have ANOTHER baby...
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #13

    Jun 5, 2009, 03:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    get off my case already find something better to do then follow me around talkin about my other posts if you have a problem then ignore it and stop reading my posts that was like a week ago move on and get over it dont worry about it its over and done with get on with your life
    Actually, I wasn't looking through "your" posts, I was reading what steve had posted.

    And yes, I will worry about it because I think it's pathetic that someone like you - who can't save $10 for a measley week - thinks it's okay to actually be TRYING to get pregnant again while you're in this mess with your FIRST CHILD. Children aren't shiny new toys; they're living, breathing people and deserve to have a normal life - not to be thrown back and forth between parents/grandparents/aunts/uncles/etc.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #14

    Jun 5, 2009, 03:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    i think i need a woman/mother point of view taha
    This is a legal forum. The gender is irrelavant... the law is... and the law doesn't have a uterus.
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #15

    Jun 5, 2009, 03:43 PM

    "I love the genderless law :) Btw, did you see my reddie? LOL"

    I did... but like Air Supply once sang... I'm all out of love...
    this8384's Avatar
    this8384 Posts: 4,564, Reputation: 485
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    #16

    Jun 5, 2009, 03:44 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by stevetcg View Post
    "I love the genderless law :) Btw, did you see my reddie? LOL"

    I did... but like Air Supply once sang... im all out of love...
    Ooooh, did you ever hear the cover of that by Jagged Edge?
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,966, Reputation: 6056
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    #17

    Jun 5, 2009, 04:24 PM

    Quote Originally Posted by GNL685 View Post
    just to let you know i am trying to have another baby
    This is from your other thread. In this thread you are complaining about having to send your son to Florida for 7 months so you can finish school. What boggles my mind is how you think a pregnancy is going to affect your finishing school??

    I'm sorry, but I see a lot of bad choices in your life. You had your first child out of wedlock with a person you complain is dodging his responsibilities. Now you are trying to have another baby, again presumably out of wedlock While you are trying to finish school. According to you finishing school is only 7 months away, so you can't wait until then?

    In the other thread, you complained about not having $10 to buy a pregnancy test until your next paycheck. That tells us you arre living paycheck to paycheck, so how does having another baby figure into that?

    So now let me address the legal questions here. You complain about your first baby's father getting away with things. Yet you have not filed for child support from him. So YOU are the one letting him get away with things.

    You can't force someone to be a father, you can only force them to financially support their child. You can't terminate his rights without sufficient cause and I don't see such cause.

    Now back to the non-legal advice. Do whatever is necessary to finish school. Get your life together. Then see about having another child.

    And one last point. The people here are trying to help you. Yes some have been very critical of you, because you have made some very bad choices in your life and don't appear to have learned from them. So they have been somewhat harsh in their advice to give you a wake up call. You have no right to complain about this since you have opened those doors with the information you have posted. You have gotten a lot of good advice in various threads you started. Try showing appreciation for the help, even if you don't want to follow it.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #18

    Jun 5, 2009, 06:12 PM

    From a legal view point

    1. you can't take his rights away, has nothing to do with your child's rights or your rights, but as a father he has his rights also.

    2. but the father has obligations, and you can force him to do those, and that is pay. But you have to file.

    ** You need to get a order of custody in place, and a order of child support, you have been told that many times and I think on different threads.

    As for as sending the child to Florida for 7 months actually the bio father could stop that if he wanted to, he could file in court for his rights to visit the child and you moving the child away would not allow him to visit. So he could even force you to return the child if he wanted to.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #19

    Jun 18, 2009, 04:37 PM

    Out of greenies but how to trolls manage to come back and are they so - what is the word, stupid? - that they post conflicting "stories" on the threads.

    I thought "we" were done with this person and her attacks.

    Well, I suppose she could make up another account name and use it to either agree or argue with herself. <wink, wink>

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