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tburrow1980 · Jun 5, 2009, 10:44 AM

I dated this guy for 2 months we talked on the phone everyday, web cam, e-mails, and texts. Finally he flew me to where he was I got off the plane he kissed me and we seemingly had a wonderful 1st day although he picked out every flaw he could possibly find on my face. (backing that he would still say your still beautiful though.)
The 1st day was amazing I met his best friend (who loved me ) I saw a new city that I have never been to it was wonderful.(although I saw a text message on his phone that rubbed me the wrong way I voiced my opinion and he was upset that I saw the text and asked me not to look at his texts again) however he kept getting calls on his cell phone that made me nervous I finally asked will you tell your friends to call you back when I leave( and he respected that) told me he loved me . I was happy about that the week progressed and I met his family (of course as I suspected they love me also) we did so many things I had fun but I think he may have bi polar issues (one moment he was all over me, next he looked at me like I was crazy, then he would say I love you, then I was his girlfriend,then I wasn't pretty enough, then he was all in love with me again) well the last day of my stay he was on this trip where he really wasn't talking to me ( don't know why) but his friend walked in the store that we were in and he began talking to him (completely ignoring me ) finally after 10-15min I butted in the conversation nicely and introduced myself.. (who would have known this would have made him angry when the friend left the store he begain yelling at me in the store (people were looking) I was embarrassed! ( to say the least) anyway next day I got on the plane we seemed OK by then but when I got home I called him and he didn't answer (called from private and he picked up the phone I asked what's wrong and he stated "i dont like that you looked through my phone and introduced yourself to my friend" I repeatedly said I was sorry during the week for that my wrong doings but apparently he wasn't trying to hear what I was saying I wrote a letter to him and he replied a day later and stated that he was thinking it over and he still cared for me. Still haven't talked to him for 3 day around this time finally I wrote one last note and told him I was tired of being ignored by him and I was done.. he deleted me off his so called web page and we haven't talked for about 6 days or so will I ever hear from him again? I really liked him I invested so much time in what we had he was so sweet to me. I just wish he would have saw past my flaws and looked more into his own (which I never once pointed out his flaws ) to me he was perfect. But I still want to know that I was more than just sex will we ever talk again? Even if its just as friends??

liz28 · Jun 5, 2009, 11:40 AM

You talked to this guy for 2 months over the internet (which you met him at) and got the nerves to say you invested a lot of time into him? Are you serious?

You said yourself he might be bipolar and he might be. This is someone you want to be with?

He yelled at you in a store over nonsense, pointing out all your flaws regarding your looks, told you he love you. Again please!

I don't know who gave you the right to look at his phone because your not his girlfriend so him getting upset over that was valid.

Count your lucky stars that your still alive because you must not watch the news. Going to another city to meet someone you don't know is risky business.

You can't be that hard up for a man because if your seriously waiting and questioning by he haven't called then you need a reality check.

Also, if you really think this guy was perfect for you then I must question your mental state. So what is your problem?

chuff · Jun 5, 2009, 11:45 AM

In so many respects you need a good Chuffing, but I just don't have it in me. If the first thing he says is you have flaws in your appearance then he's really not interested in the real you. Be glad with was long distance and only 60 days and move on.

rxnarunner · Jun 5, 2009, 11:58 AM

No I doubt you will ever hear from him again.

Two months isn't that long of an investment, you'll be fine. Lucky you came back alive

talaniman · Jun 5, 2009, 12:04 PM

Your investment has brought you some real facts as to his flaws and you would be well to heed them and see his behavior for what it really is, he ain't that into you, and far from perfect. Inconsiderate jerk comes to mind from what you have written. If you never hear from him again, your investment has paid off, if you paid attention.

ZoeMarie · Jun 5, 2009, 12:10 PM

I would not waste my time with someone like that. It doesn't sound like it was meant to be. Look on the bright side, you're only out 2 months. Be glad you didn't waste any more time with this guy. He could very well be bi-polar, not that that's any reason not to give a guy a chance but it doesn't sound like he gave you much of a chance.

Triysle · Jun 5, 2009, 12:20 PM

Take a good, long look at yourself and answer this question -

"Are you completely satisfied with yourself and your life?"

I'm not asking if you've lived up to your goals or made your dreams a reality. I am asking if you are content with your own life right now, because from your post I'm seeing almost crippling insecurity from you.

As a result, you have sought out another person who is just as insecure with himself, and this got you nowhere. Your best option right now is to realize that you can be happy as a single person. There is nothing wrong with you for being single; ignore the social normalcies and build up your own self-confidence.

~ Tee

AnaisDeBeauvoir · Jun 5, 2009, 12:23 PM

I think that many times we meet someone and they appear to be a certain type of person. Over time their true colors come out and they begin to show what they are really made of. The problem comes when we choose to ignore the real guy, instead clinging to our IDEA of him. We forgive all sorts of inexcusable behavior because "he's such a great guy" or "he's so sweet". The reality is he isn't a really sweet great guy, he just knows how to impersonate one.
His mood swings were either a mental condition or a method of control. Some people will try to control you by showering you with affection one minute then pulling back the next hoping you will run along behind them hoping for the next love shower. Either way this guy was creepy (thank goodness not homicidal) and I'm glad you are safely home.

A word to the wise, though (and this is just plain sense): don't go by yourself to visit some guy in his city where you have no friends and no family. I don't know if you are aware of the danger you placed yourself in. Even a blind date in your own city shouldn't know where you live. You really lucked up here. Take care XOXO

chuff · Jun 5, 2009, 01:13 PM

Originally Posted by Triysle

Take a good, long look at yourself and answer this question -

"Are you completely satisfied with yourself and your life?"

I'm not asking if you've lived up to your goals or made your dreams a reality. I am asking if you are content with your own life right now, because from your post I'm seeing almost crippling insecurity from you.

As a result, you have sought out another person who is just as insecure with himself, and this got you nowhere. Your best option right now is to realize that you can be happy as a single person. There is nothing wrong with you for being single; ignore the social normalcies and build up your own self-confidence.

~ Tee

Good God, you are on a roll today. I just rep'd you in another thread but I'll say the same thing. There's a lot of good information in these small paragraphs.