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dummfounded · Jun 2, 2009, 11:59 AM

My boyfriend gets mad at me if I wear anything too revealing around other people, but he loves it when I wear them around him, he says he doesn't want any other guys to be looking at me like that. I don't usually like wearing short shorts and low cut shirts, but it's summer and that's what I've always worn. Should I change the way I dress?

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 2, 2009, 12:07 PM

NO! Don't change because of a man. No, you're not a bad girlfriend. This is the first sign of a controlling man. All you need to do is tell him that you have your own style, and he's no influence on it.

spitvenom · Jun 2, 2009, 12:07 PM

No. If he can't accept the way you dress that is his problem not yours. My wife would have knocked me out if I would have told her not to dress a certain way when we were dating.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 2, 2009, 12:09 PM

If he doesn't respect you the way you are, he'll respect you less for rolling over and playing dead and letting him make decisions for you.

lighterrr · Jun 2, 2009, 12:15 PM

Control and he seems to be very jealous and possesive, this is just the start it seems to me first he wants to tell you how to dress, next thing you know he'll want a say in every aspect of your life. Stop him dead in his tracks before it goes to far tell him NO you are not going to chaange your dressing and he is going to have to learn how to trust you.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 2, 2009, 12:21 PM

I would leave him. Trust me, I was in a relationship like that and it was like I was a new person when I left. Want to know why? Cause I was with him for so long, I forgot WHO I WAS. And it was nice to be me again.

spitvenom · Jun 2, 2009, 12:26 PM

I never understood guys who get mad when their girlfriends dress in shorts and tank tops etc... Me I love it when guys stare at my wife. I know she isn't going anywhere. Guys hit on her with me sitting right there and she just laughs at them. I guess it is a trust thing.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 2, 2009, 12:33 PM

Touché! My boyfriend does the same thing. I think it boosts his ego when guys take a second look, cause he knows he's got gold on his arm. And that's where I'm staying.

I wish · Jun 2, 2009, 01:02 PM

He sounds very insecure. Don't let him tell you how to dress. Dress the way you feel the most comfortable in.

This is definitely a mini red flag. Let's hope he's not the controlling type of boyfriend.

liz28 · Jun 2, 2009, 01:10 PM

If you allow him to control what you wear next he will telling where to go and who to hang out with.

I like Spitvenom wife because I would've just slapped him in the face and gave him a piece of mind.

gman1991 · Jun 4, 2009, 02:46 PM

Never let a guy tell u what u can and cannot waer OK. It is just a controlling thing.

liz28 · Jun 4, 2009, 03:20 PM

Dummfounded you should get the picture that you aren't a bad girlfriend by now but you would be foolish to stay with this.

A lot of teens are in unhealthy relationsips and don't even realize it. I bet he try to make you out to be the bad guy because that wants controlling guys down. It is never their fault but it is always yours and they try to lower your esteem.

Please remove yourself from this relationship and I hope you return.

clean1 · Jun 4, 2009, 05:40 PM

You know what? I actually disagree with most of these comments.. why?

If your girlfriend is dressing very innapropriately away from you.. well why would she do this? IT is for boy'z attention.. that's a red flag. If she is devoted to you then she wouldn't want or need to feel accepted from other guys.

Now of course the dude shouldn't say "Change, I am very upset with your decision to show ur tits" BUT.. he should say "Sweety, I am uncomftorable with what you are wearing. I love you and I trust you but I would appreciate if you dressed in less revealing attire."

"break up with him?" -ChihuahuaMomma

Terrible advice

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 5, 2009, 01:32 PM

He's controlling. So, yes break up with him. It will only get worse.

MOST of the girls that I know wear what they want not for BOYS attention, but for GIRLS attention. Girls compete with each other, that's their nature. They want to be more in fashion than the girl next to them. They want girls to comment on their new shoes, or that super cute scarf. I've never ever put on a piece of clothing hoping that when I talked to a man he would stare at my chest, and not listen to what I'm saying.

spitvenom · Jun 5, 2009, 01:49 PM

Clean1 so if she goes to the beach with out him is she supposed to wear a turtleneck? If it is 95 degrees out and he is not with her is she suppose to wear jeans and a long sleeve shirt. Why should she feel uncomfortable be cause he is uncomfortable? The fact is he should have enough trust and respect for her not to be bothered by what she wears. And regardless how you say it asking or telling someone how to dress is controlling.

ChihuahuaMomma is right most women dress certain ways to get the attention of other girls.

liz28 · Jun 5, 2009, 02:01 PM

Clean1 I wonder if your another poster posting under another user name. Things that make you go hmmm!

ZoeMarie · Jun 5, 2009, 02:06 PM

Originally Posted by clean1

You know what? I actually disagree with most of these comments.. why?

If your girlfriend is dressing very innapropriately away from you .. well why would she do this? IT is for boy'z attention.. thats a red flag. If she is devoted to you then she wouldn't want or need to feel accepted from other guys.

Now of course the dude shouldn't say "Change, I am very upset with your decision to show ur tits" BUT.. he should say "Sweety, I am uncomftorable with what you are wearing. I love you and I trust you but I would appreciate if you dressed in less revealing attire."

"break up with him?" -ChihuahuaMomma

Terrible advice

I disagree. A girl should be able to wear whatever she wants. It's getting warmer out and if I could walk around in a swim suit right now I would. I hate still being so white. I need some color!

danni_sweetie · Jun 5, 2009, 02:41 PM

No don't change something you have always done because a guy thinks differently.
I can see where he would be angry if you were wearing something that was completely revealing to the point where it looked trashy but if it is just short shorts and low cut tops with good class then whatever I wouldn't sweat it. If it is acceptable for you to wear in public with him it is acceptable for you to wear in public with your girls.

ChihuahuaMomma · Jun 5, 2009, 10:17 PM

If I want my cleavage to tan while running errands, I will. And yes the MAN that I am with trusts and respects me enough to not give two poots how I dress. He loves me for me not my hot attire!

And you know what? Every woman deserves to wear what she feels the most beautiful in. If that happens to offend or make someone else uncomfortable, SO WHAT??

To add to that, if she feels beautiful in something and the man that is supposed to support her the most says she looks skanky, what do you think that does to her self esteem?

MoodsterMan · Jun 7, 2009, 06:57 AM

I agree with a lot of you but I also disagree. A woman's love is not put on a scale of what she wears BUT it can be misleading if your girlfriend is going out with the ladies in a mini skirt and a tube top. Am I wrong?

I trust my girlfriend almost 100% but I still get bothered when she wears revealing clothing like a tube top that shows her tits when she bends over.. am I wrong to be frustrated that dudes are most likely checking out her tits without her knowing? Uhm, yes I should be.

However, if your boyfriend is down your neck about what you wear all the time that is in fact a problem and you should tell him how it is "I love you ____ and I am completely faithful to you, its really hot out and I would like to wear clothes that are comfortable" or something like that. BUT! You are in a relationship and it can be deemed inappropriate if you are wearing clothes to get guys attention.

Its your life though, and if he appears to be very controlling and assume he owns you or the power in the relationship.. perhaps you should sit him down and tell him how it is.