[snowy23]

It appears that my boyfriend really likes porn.. he owns his own business and I work with him.. so a couple months back, I was on the back office computer and I looked through the 'history' tab, and saw a long list of porn websites.. it really upset me and later that day he noticed I was upset, so I ended up telling him what happened, and he turned the problem around and said I was invading his privacy (which I admit, may have been wrong.. )and what upset me even more is, he wouldn't even admit it was him, he tried saying other people have used the computer.. anyway I told him that it wouldn't happen again..
OK so I couldn't help myself and I've recently been checking back to his history, only to find more porn websites... I know its him looking at it because no one other than his dad uses the computer.. there was also this one time where he opened up a drawer in his room, and he quickly closed it.. but I must have saw like 20 porn videotapes in there.. I know boys will be boys and they like porn.. I get that.. but I find it disturbing that he's looking at porn at work! And it hurt me more because he's hiding it from me.. and its making me feel like I'm just not good enough, and that he's comparing me to these hott perfect girls.. it also doesn't help that I was never too great in the confidence dept..
Do you think my boyfriend is addicted to porn?. or am I just overreacting?. I would like to let him know how much this is bothering me but I told him I wouldn't invade his privacy again.. so what should I do!. any advice is appreatiated.. thanks

[Synnen]

How about having a discussion with him about your standards on porn and his?

TALKING about it is a good first step.

[Fuzzball_Kara]

You have to communicate. You guys need to discuss this and tell him your feelings. If he's not listening to anything you say, then what does that say about him?

[liz28]

It is hard to just label him an addicted without the facts.

I've over 20 porno dvds but I don't watch it everyday. I just have a collection.

Also, he told you that his dad using the computer to so maybe he is going to those websites to.

When you do talk to your boyfriend regarding this issue choose your words wisely. Don't be acussing and be open and prepare to hear his answers.

[snowy23]

I didn't really want to mention the fact that I was invading his privacy again... but I guess I need to talk to him... so how can I casually bring the topic up? Its like, I think he knows I'm up for sex, and yet ill be lucky if I get it once every week or 2... so I want him to know that it hurts that he'd rather look at porn all the time instead of trying to get intimate with me..

[Synnen]

/sigh

If you can't TALK about sex with someone, you shouldn't be HAVING sex with them.

You NEED to admit to snooping, too. If YOU aren't honest about the situation, why should he be?

[snowy23]

Yea that's true.. your right.. I will talk to him. Thanks for the advice!

[450donn]

Porn is/can be Just like any other addiction. When it snags a person unless and until they are willing to accept the facts and seek help to break the addictive behavior, there is NOTHING you can do. You have to make a hard decision here, stay with an addictive personality and run the risk of further addictions like drugs or alcohol. Or get out now!

[c23]

What's exactly the thing that irritates you? I mean he's not doing anything wrong in my opinion.. like he's not having sex himself so I don't see any prob.. its only my opinion

[Catsmine]

Guys look. It really is biological with us. So much for loyalty to my gender.

His timing, consideration, and communications skill sucks.

You have jealousy, self-confidence, and trust issues.

I'm not sure just talking can overcome all of that. IF you want to keep this guy (and possibly your job) you both have a very long way to go.