[randomguy19]

Greetings,

I'm a 21 year old that is literally wasting my life. My day resolves around the computer, as I do nothing more other than go to college. I have no friends anymore, and the ones that I did have were not really "friends" in the first place. Natural problems, friendship neglecting and gradating high school has really taken a toll on my number of friends. My family relationship has also been destroyed due to family issues. I find myself always looking into the future, and imaging what life COULD be like. Besides the internet addiction/habit, my diet consist of fast food. I literally eat it twice a day, and have done it since I graduated high school. As a consequence, I've gained weight. The weight that I have gained has caused me to become very insecure about my looks. I tend to not want to see people that I know because I'm embarrassed on how much weight I've gained. The computer is similar to a drug, and my perception of time is gone. Hours seem like minutes. I tend to feel more depressed on the weekends because I'm in my room, on the computer, when everyone else is out having fun. I guess the question is, where do I even start? My goal is to simply LIVE. I want to make friends badly, but am not even sure where to go. And even so, I feel so insecure about myself it affects my motive to even try. Negative thoughts run though my head, and fear what negative thoughts the person is thinking about me. When in conversation, I run out of words to say. I tend to have more anxiety when faced with people I already know than people I don't know. I feel as if previous friends have negative feelings about me. Is the damage done to social skills due to excessive computer use real? Can I restore this? I truly do want to be good with people, but I feel so limited right now. My college work has also suffered due to excessive computer use. It's obvious to even me what needs to go, but sometimes hearing other input can be productive. It's getting quite boring and lonely confined in my own prison, repeating the same task everyday because of my own barriers. Thanks :p

[Wondergirl]

You tell me -- what needs to go?

[BlackVY]

So you need to hear it?

Ok then...

You need to spend less time on the computer and more time outside, meeting people, having fun and enjoying your life.

The computer is a tool. Something you use to make life easier. It shouldn't be your life.

Take up a hobby, something that has nothing to do with technology. Play a sport, an instrument, go dancing. Anything like that.

Have a social life and leave the computer to be a tool you use sometime to perform a task, its original purpose. Good luck :)

[Gemini54]

The first thing is to recognize that you have a problem. You have. That's a really good start.

Let's start with the easiest thing - your diet. Stop eating junk food, it's addictive. If you must eat take-out, try chinese, mexican, thai or indian. Or, you could go to the supermarket and get some of those frozen diet dinners and eat those (unfrozen of course!). Better still, you could buy fresh vegies and meat and cook them yourself - but this might be a big ask, so why not start with eating the healthier take-out?

The next thing is physical activity. Can you buy some hand weights and jogging shoes? Get out of the house and walk or run each day. The internet will have lots of suggestions about how to use the handweights. Use them daily. You will need to get your blood moving and your heart rate up so that you can burn fat. Start slowly and increase it.
Alternatively, you could also join your local gym which will give you advice about your diet and exercise.

Next, the computer. Start by trying to limit your time on it. Most cities have lots of things on - festivals, movies, art galleries, sport, games, clubs, etc, etc. What are you interested in? Look in your local paper (or on-line of course) for things that interest you and go, even if it's on your own. Get interested in what's happening in your community or city.

Finally, buy some decent clothes and get a haircut. You'll feel better and people won't think you're a slob. Contact some of those old friends, tell them you'vbe been a bit reclusive and you're coming out of your shell. Go out with them - don't worry if you feel as if you've nothing to say, listen to what other people say and take an interest in them.

Above all, don't be so hard on yourself. Slowly things will begin to change.

[Romefalls19]

Okay, step away from the computer, set a timer up every time you go on it and use it for maybe 30 minutes. About your weight, join a gym and try to exercise daily to get that under control, cut down fast food to once a day to start, then gradually keep going until it isn't there anymore. It's going to be really hard, and it will take a lot of hard work and time.

[kctiger]

You have control over every single aspect of your life that you currently do not like, so advice doesn't do a whole lot of good if you cannot take the personal power you have and turn things around. It is fun to start from scratch and build yourself all over again as you can do whatever you want. The sooner you start, the better!

[oldenoughtoknow]

Set a limit on your computer usage say a couple hours a day. Then join up to a sports team, that tackles two problems at once. Not only will you get fitter, you will be out there meeting new friends.
Trying taking up boxing or a martial arts it will get you fit and instil a bit of discipline into your life.
Take it from me it works, after finishing studying all my friends moved back home and I was alone, so I decided to take up boxing.
I got fit real quick and met a great bunch of guys who have become my friend outside of training. Also as I've got fitter I've tried new things such as mountaineering and running half marathons.
If that's too much try yoga, its great feeling after finishing a session and again a chance to meet new people.

[talaniman]

If your having a hard time motivating yourself to change the rut your in, maybe a check up is in order.

Lack of exercise can have some bad effects on your health (low energy level ), and a check up before the start of any exercise program, is a good idea.