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dipsetmami69 · Sep 21, 2006, 10:37 AM

Im starting to wonder if my co-worker was a victim of abuse or if he has a mental problem. His behaviors are really strange. My other co-worker and I are very concerned about him and we want to try and help him. He always wears the same clothes every week, never wears a belt with his loose pants, and always has on velcro sneakers. Is this a sign of abuse? Also, at work, he never speaks to anyone unless he is spoken to. He takes his lunch break at 11 a.m. to avoid a crowded lunch room. When he walks somewhere, he walks along walls as far away from people as he can be. He is also very afraid of loud noises, as well as very low explosion noises from computer games. He also whispers to himself frequently and takes several minutes to answer questions. He seems to clear his throat a lot as a sign of anger or madness. There are only 3 of us in the room during our regular work day and my co-worker and I are very concerned about his condition. If anyone can help us out it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

J_9 · Sep 21, 2006, 03:14 PM

This is very curious behavior for sure. I am sure someone can help a little more than me, but here goes...

Does he seem smart? You know Albert Einstein wore the same suit every day, well rather, he had 7 of the same suits. That way he did not have to decide what he was going to wear the next day.

He could have a personality disorder, or maybe mainstream Autistic. That is more of what it sounds like to me that he may possibly have Autistic tendencies.

dipsetmami69 · Sep 22, 2006, 11:44 AM

We cannot determine if he is smart or dumb. I mean, we don't have the most challenging job in the world, we work in a mailroom. Sometimes he plays little head games with us that lead us to believe that he does have some smarts. On the other hand, he sometimes has very childish behaviors. Im going to look up autism in adults and see if he fits under that category.

J_9 · Sep 22, 2006, 12:04 PM

Autism begins in childhood. It is possible that he does not have a severe form of autism and has been able to be mainstreamed into the workforce.

brian mensah · Sep 26, 2006, 06:04 AM

Originally Posted by dipsetmami69

Im starting to wonder if my co-worker was a victim of abuse or if he has a mental problem. His behaviors are really strange. My other co-worker and I are very concerned about him and we want to try and help him. He always wears the same clothes every week, never wears a belt with his loose pants, and always has on velcro sneakers. Is this a sign of abuse? Also, at work, he never speaks to anyone unless he is spoken to. He takes his lunch break at 11 a.m. to avoid a crowded lunch room. When he walks somewhere, he walks along walls as far away from people as he can be. He is also very affraid of loud noises, as well as very low explosion noises from computer games. He also whispers to himself frequently and takes several minutes to answer questions. He seems to clear his throat a lot as a sign of anger or madness. There are only 3 of us in the room during our regular work day and my co-worker and I are very concerned about his condition. If anyone can help us out it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

:eek:

This is a sign of distrust , maybe someone has threat him very bad in the pass. This could be a emotional thing . I can advise you to talk to him and let him know what sign you have seen in him and advise him to look for a professional help .

J_9 · Sep 26, 2006, 03:05 PM

Be very cautious if you attempt to do what the answer above suggests. Although it very well could be a sign of distrust it sounds very much like Autism or Aspergers Syndrome.

ndx · Sep 26, 2006, 03:39 PM

I don't know about abuse, but I know someone like that, not quite right, but as long as he's not abusive... your OK.

The person I know, is very shy, mutters, walks along walls, I would have thought for the feeling of protection of something, but he has got a bit more confidence after I spoke to him, when ever I saw him in passing.

Just, very very shy, lonely people, I suspect, probably muttering about not having any one that liked him, and to scared to go and meet people at lunch... supprised he got a job!

Good luck to him though, go speak to him! Might help.

kp2171 · Sep 26, 2006, 09:13 PM

Don't try to fix him. You don't know him that well. Best you can do is treat him kindly, as you would anyone else.

I know one person who has a mental handicap of sorts and exibits some of the same behaviours. She has schizophrenia, has a second personality, and a witty humor when it can wind its way through the madness. She's lived this way for over three decades and there's nothing I can do to change her.

I also knew a man who was trapped in his own body my a neuromuscular disease. To some onlookers hed be labeled as that "poor cripple"... not my words. But as I worked with him I learned of a man that seemed to be well read and funny as hell. But you had to know where to look for the real person inside.

The person you are describing is more functional concerning the "real world" than the ones I'm describing... but the point is, it takes all kinds to make up the world. Best you can do is hang around him, pay some attention, and maybe make some connections. Your concern is reasonable, and your wanting to help him fit in better is out of good intentions. Id still hold off on trying to fix anything about him.

Again, as long as he's treating you fairly, you should do the same... maybe you'll know some answers in time.

YeloDasy · Oct 2, 2006, 02:14 PM

It can be anything mentioned already, also can be a form of anxiety! But you never know... maybe he will tell a friendly person what is going on... I would NOT suggest asking him about his behaviors... if he has had them for awhile, I am sure he knows... just be friendly and maybe you will find out someday.

dipsetmami69 · Oct 2, 2006, 03:42 PM

Thank you all for your input. No, we are not going to talk to him about his habits. We try to be friendly to him, but it just seems like he won't budge. I guess we just have to work around him and let it be.

J_9 · Oct 2, 2006, 03:48 PM

Good idea! That is the best thing to do. If you "confront" him, it could be disastorous.

Jeannie · Nov 23, 2006, 10:01 PM

Just a Suggestion:

If it's that noticeable, it's probably being noticed by his Superior(s) too!? I'm sure his work is suffering, and the work of his co-workers... :confused:

If it's :eek: enough "I think" you can have your Superior/Human Resources "recommend" that he have a few counseling sessions. In the long-run it's a win-win for all concerned.

CASE IN POINT (true story):
It's like over looking a alcoholic co-worker... and then YEARS later the company makes him go to counseling/rehab/what-have-you and then "poof" he's no longer a drinker and he becomes a productive individual (personally and professional). Mmm, I would call that a win-win!

~~~

Fr_Chuck · Nov 24, 2006, 08:13 AM

Of course there is nothing wrong with velco tennis shoes, that is all I ever wear myself.

But we often hire people who are somewhat borderline in personality issues, often they will function well to OK, on medication, but off medication could not function at all.

The person may well fall in that area, meaning nothing is wrong with them to a point, since they can function in society.

We should be supportive of people who do work and are not a drain on society like may couild be.

pumibel · Nov 26, 2006, 01:16 PM

Originally Posted by Jeannie

Just a Suggestion:

If it's that noticable, it's probably being noticed by his Superior(s) too!??! I'm sure his work is suffering, and the work of his co-workers...:confused:

If it's :eek: enough "I think" you can have your Superior/Human Resources "recommend" that he have a few counseling sessions. In the long-run it's a win-win for all concerned.

CASE IN POINT (true story):
It's like over looking a alcoholic co-worker...and then YEARS later the company makes him go to counseling/rehab/what-have-you and then "poof" he's no longer a drinker and he becomes a productive individual (personally and professional). Mmm, I would call that a win-win!

~~~

EEEEK! No offense, but the poor guy isn't bothering anyone. His coworkers are simply trying to understsnd him and maybe help him. Turning him in for being a little different could further alienate him.

Personally, I don't think there is anything wrong with him- it takes all kinds. We all have symptoms, like the exaggerated startle response to loud noise, that probably come from some significant event in our lives.

sadiesmom · Nov 30, 2006, 04:28 PM

I would suggest that you continue doing what you are doing. I am impressed with your compassion for your co-worker. He has most likely been made fun of all his life due to his behaviors. He may very well have been abused by his family and or any of the things mentioned above. Society seems to like to find people who are already down and try and finish them off. This of course only makes his behaviors worse and less likely to trust others. He most likely is aware his behaviors are strange, but either doesn't know how or doesn't have the confidence to change them. Gentleness, kindness, and patience are great healers. He is very fortunate to be working with people like you and your friend. barbara

dipsetmami69 · Dec 21, 2006, 10:24 AM

Well... He Retired!!

hdcook · Dec 29, 2006, 08:29 PM

Hi there,

I have most of those problems. I was always quite in school. No one noticed because the quite kids are thought to be the nice guys and never caused trouble. However I was very depressed to the point I knew no better. Loud noises are a problem because I have an anxiety disorder. I wore the same pants for 2 weeks about 2 weeks ago. I figure if they are not dirt then you I can wear them again plus it is easier to get up aand just put them on. I am not a morning person. The best thing you can do is respect his space and just be nice. Do not do like my co workers and sneak up on me to make me jump. If they do that to me one more time I do not want to say what I will say to them. So try to not sneak up on him. Sometimes I will go into a trance of deep thought. SOme people call it daydreaming, but I call it my escape. The docotr tell me it is OK. It helps me cope with stress so please do not get mad at him if he is day dreaming. Here is something you can try. Say how are you today. One day I went to a chruch party and everyone could tell something was wrong. I was having one of my spells if you say where I was extremely depressed at the party and it was targeted by something I saw which made me think of something that made me depressed. Hat night it was all the couples at the party. Well everyone but me and people would walk by and say trying to be nice " where is your date?" Well it just caused it to build well this one girl who was dating a friend of mine walked over and said how are you today and you know what my eyes began to spring a leak. She took me outside so I could cry it off. YOu see but it was more the anxiety than the depression causing it. So just be nice.

P.S. I would not turn him in because you never know how he could react to that.

tamed · Dec 30, 2006, 06:40 AM

Originally Posted by J_9

Autism begins in childhood. It is possible that he does not have a severe form of autism and has been able to be mainstreamed into the workforce.

I agree. It almost certainly sounds as if he is on the ASD spectrum or it could be Aspergers. The symptoms you have described are very indicative of both of these conditions and if that is the case then there isn't really much you can do except to respect his space and give him time. The fact that he takes a while to answer question could indicate that he has delayed response (another symptom of ASD) in which case you shouldn't take it personally. I must say that I am impressed by your concern, in most of the cases I've seen adults with ASD tend to get bullied in the workplace when people are not aware of their condition. In the case of your co-worker, reaching out to him may not be a bad thing although it will take a while before he can trust you. Hope this helps, if not don't be afraid to ask more questions.

werdzrweapons · Jan 22, 2007, 09:42 PM

Maybe he has a social phobia

pennybot · Jan 23, 2007, 04:28 AM

At least he is (or was) doing his work, has some basic qualification, and not busying himself sabotaging you and abusing you behind the bosses back. Or worse, direct a company and throw a tantrum over something trivial that could put a 3 year old to shame.

Come to think of it, I've seen bums more productive to society than some of the suits I've worked with.

I'd take autism over narcissism or sociopath any day. Want to trade? :p