Check out some similar questions!

Emily36 · Apr 28, 2009, 08:12 AM

I know this is going to sound lame but 'somehow' I got involved with my ex boyfriend who has a longterm girlfriend. He said he wanted to see both of us and would tell her about me. Months went by and he didn't tell her. Finally after 8 months I insisted that he tell he the truth about seeing me. He agreed saying that he would still see me even if she said 'no' to the idea.

Well, he did tell her about me but only a very small part of the truth. He only told her that he intends to start seeing me regardless. She asked if he had sex with me yet and he said 'no'. A flat out lie! He said it was time for us to date openly and honestly. We planned a date where he would spend the night. She totally freaked out and said if he has sex with me he cannot have sex with her and she will walk.

He choose to be with her but wants to stay in touch with me. I'm not interested. For sure, I will NOT have sex with him again as long as the girlfriend is in his life.

I feel like the girlfriend has the right to know the whole truth about the man she loves. He has lied and cheated on her big time. She and I were friends and liked each other a lot. She may end up hating me but that's the chance I'm willing to take.

Is that the right thing to do? Of course my ex boyfriend has sworn me to secrecy.

mudweiser · Apr 28, 2009, 08:16 AM

In my opinion you should cut all ties with him. He is a liar, a manipulator and a cheater.

It's not your duty to tell her what happened-- it's his. Sooner than later his little adventures will catch up to him leaving him speechless when it comes time to explaining it to his girlfriend.

You did wrong- you were an accessory to his dirty escapades. Never do it again-- you not only end up hurting others but yourself.

Leave and don't look back.

And when his girlfriend dumps him, don't be his go-to girl. If he'll lie for you he'll lie to you. If he'll cheat for you, he'll cheat on you.

Sarah

artlady · Apr 28, 2009, 08:19 AM

I do not think you are doing this to be a good friend to his GF.I think your motives are to break them up and so I say... NO.. stay out of it.

It is their problem,not yours.

You had no concern for the GF when you were cheating,now you want to come to her rescue.

This is not how you will get him back and if by any chance you did... would you really want a guy that you had to manipulate to be with you?

I wish · Apr 28, 2009, 08:38 AM

What are you doing with a cheater? Secrets here, secrets there.

Have more self-respect.

jjwoodhull · Apr 28, 2009, 08:41 AM

You are no less guilty of deceit than he is. You say you considered her a friend, but you had a secret affair with her boyfriend. People don't do that to their friends.

You say you want to tell her because she deserves to know, but it sounds to me that it is coming from a vengeful place. She already knows that he intended to have an affair with you. She will open her eyes when she is ready.

Be glad that you are finally rid of him. He lies, cheats and manipulates. Move on with your life and find a happy, healthy relationship.

talaniman · Apr 28, 2009, 09:48 AM

The right thing to do is completely eliminate them both from your life.

liz28 · Apr 28, 2009, 10:10 AM

You did a morally bad thing by getting involved with him in the first place knowing that he had a girlfriend. Why would you agreed to be his girl number two is beyond me and why she agreed to this set up is beyond me too. There must not be many guys where the two of you live at and the two of you allowed yourself to be used and played.

However, I am glad you got out of that situation so move on and don't look back. Otherwise you won't be bringing unnecessary drama to your life and who wants drama? Not me!

If she chooses to be a fool by believing his lies then let her. Neither of them is your problem anymore just never repeat this awful mistake again. Find someone single and available.

Romefalls19 · Apr 28, 2009, 11:16 AM

Run away from this guy, be thankful you didn't end up with him as he would have only cheated on you with another girl. Take this as a sign as you deserve better and are worth more than what he made you feel

shazamataz · Apr 28, 2009, 11:55 AM

Had to spread the rep but Mudweiser is spot on.

CrazyThumper · Apr 28, 2009, 12:43 PM

Grr.. so let me get this right. There is a girl that you were friends with AND LIKED but regardless you wanted the guy she is in a relationship with. BUT since you don't care about her feelings at all (cause you know, she is only a friend), you sleep with him for 8 months or so.. before what, you get a conscious? Or want to become mrs. super-hero and save the person YOU've been screwing over?

So then you're concerned that he only told his REAL girlfriend "part" of the truth and he lied to her about sleeping with you? LOL you are kidding me right, this is YOUR concern about the whole situation? Him lying to his GF as your banging him in the backround?

So after 8 months of being with this guy, he decides to stay with her and NOW you're going to act like your too good to see him anymore if he stays with her? Hehe.. what about the first 8 months he stayed with her, you had no problem then?

Wow- how old are you anyway? Go find your own boyfriend, stop being a home-wrecker, and learn to save yourself.. because you don't have the first clue about helping others.

Thumper

Emily36 · Apr 28, 2009, 04:36 PM

I know you all are right! I did a bad, bad thing! Reality slaps me in the face reading your these replies but I needed that. I feel sick to my stomach for what I did and sick to my stomach when I think of my ex boyfriend. I was in deep, deep denial about him. I just feel plain old sick. Thanks for helping me see the light...

liz28 · Apr 28, 2009, 04:44 PM

Your welcome! Your ex has be big appetite but your enable it so I can't really call him dog because the two of you went along with the program and knew about his behavior. You live and you learn and I glad, at least you, learned from this.

mudweiser · Apr 28, 2009, 04:45 PM

That's good that you see your mistake.

He should be a life lesson now- and that is all he should ever be from this point on.

Sarah

jjwoodhull · Apr 28, 2009, 10:34 PM

Originally Posted by Emily36

I know you all are right! I did a bad, bad thing! Reality slaps me in the face reading your these replies but I needed that. I feel sick to my stomach for what I did and sick to my stomach when I think of my ex bf. I was in deep, deep denial about him. I just feel plain old sick. Thanks for helping me see the light...

Don't beat yourself up. You have realized your mistake and ended things. I'm glad you see the light.

rachelcuryy08 · Apr 28, 2009, 11:40 PM

Hi how are you I just wanted to tell you what I think. I think you should just leave him alone and work on yourself and your life you sound like you a good person. I think you should just leave him alone and get over him because if he doing that to her he will do the same with you and you sound lik eyou better then that don't sit around and wait on him You can find you some body that will love you for you and that will respect you.I hope I help you