[mudweiser]

Jesus and Satan were having an argument as to who was the better programmer. This went on for days until they agreed to hold a contest with God as the judge. They sat at their computers and began.

They typed furiously for several hours, lines of code streaming up on the screen. Seconds before the end of the competition, a bolt of lightning struck, taking out the electricity. Moments later, the power was restored, and God announced that the contest was over. He asked Satan to show what he had come up with. Satan was visibly upset, and cried, "I have nothing! I lost it all when the power went out."

"Very well, then," God said, "Let us see if Jesus did any better."

Jesus entered a command, and the screen came to life in vivid display, the voices of an angelic choir poured forth from the speakers. Satan was astonished. He stuttered, "But how?! I lost everything, yet Jesus' program is intact! How did he do it?"


God chuckled, "Jesus saves"

EDIT:: DARN IT --Someone already posted this on AMHD :(


Sarah

[JoeCanada76]

Lol,

Sarah, are you saying that I am always going to win?

Lol,

[mazak]

Lol good one thanks,for the laugh!

[Stringer]

The devil's in the detail... save, save, save...

[mudweiser]

lol,

Sarah, are you saying that I am always going to win?

lol,

Win at losing ;)

Sarah

[mudweiser]

Okay new joke:

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was dating someone else. One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, "I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you..."

The girl looked at him, then said, "NO."

Eddie said, "I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down, and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up."

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend. So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, "Ask him for $200, pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down." She agreed and accepts the proposal.

Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened.

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, "The bastard had all quarters!"


Sarah

[mudweiser]

Catsmine agrees: You're BAAAD!

I got another one for you ;)


A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants. "Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack." The young man makes his purchase and leaves.


Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes. The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

Sarah

[twinkiedooter]

You have good jokes Muddy. Keep 'em coming. I liked all 3. The quarters one was priceless though.

[albear]

Lol

[Fuzzball_Kara]

I've got one as well... but it's naughty.

A man genius had just constructed a life size robot perfecting the image of a hot woman. The man began to explain and brag his creation to him, telling him that she was even able to have sex as well as help with all tasks at his work and even offered to let the man have sex with it to try it out.

The man excitedly accepted and took the robot into the next room to have sex. About two minutes later, the genius hears an earsplitting scream and becomes distressed. "Crap! I should have told him the butt was a pencil sharpener!"

[shazamataz]

Love it muddy! :D