Check out some similar questions!

omega_red_08 · Apr 20, 2009, 11:30 AM

What is the rule about dealing with people your significant other hates?

For example, for my job I go to this one place everyday. At this place is a girl that my GF hates. They were best friends for a while but some drama started. Sometimes she will say hello and I'll say hello back. I say hello back because I'm on the job when I go here and I don't want to seem unprofessional. Out side of work, if I see her I don't say anything.

So, is the rule hate the same people no matter what?

I wish · Apr 20, 2009, 12:28 PM

Yeah, just say hi to be polite and keep moving along to respect your girlfriend.

If the girl wants to chat, just tell her that you are busy or in a rush.

Try to think about how you would want your girlfriend to treat the people that you hate? I know people have different tolerance level.

You could also ask your girlfriend how she wants you to treat this girl. Let her know that you want to be professional and I'm sure she will find you a compromise.

spitvenom · Apr 20, 2009, 12:35 PM

Just an example but if your Girlfriend hates your best friend you are just going to hate your best friend?

kp2171 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:36 PM

When it comes to work, you lay differences aside.

You can be cordial and kind without being malicious or deceitful.

Honestly... if your current squeeze demands that you make the other girl miserable it is an unreasonable request.

I'm more than willing to break the jaw of the man that screwed my lover behind my back. I'm wouldn't ask her to do this for me.

Same here.

Your business demands that you are in contact with a person your love doesn't like. Fine.

Welcome to the world.

It happens.

If she expects you to fight her battles for her then she is a coward. Period.

*i wouldn't call her that unless you are willing to walk, BTW... but it doesn't change the truth*

Romefalls19 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:37 PM

My belief has always been, you are either with me or against me. If I don't like a person, I have no problem letting it be known either. In the same breathe, I also expect my partner to share the respect of not associating with that person. She wouldn't have to "hate" them, but if the association started, well then something's got to give.

kp2171 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:43 PM

I had a partner who worked, by choice, with a person I fundamentally disliked.

More than glad to meet him in a dark alley and finish things to the finish.

But her opportunity was great... so I sucked it up.

Had to let her know I didn't want to hear about him. Didn't want to hear about what he taught her... I've no doubt he was good at what he did... id just rather make him stain on the pavement than look at him, and she had to understand that she could work with him, but not bring him home to my house.

I'm insecure enough to not give a free pass, and secure enough to let her do what is right for her and hope it is right for us.

omega_red_08 · Apr 20, 2009, 12:59 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

My belief has always been, you are either with me or against me. If I don't like a person, I have no problem letting it be known either. In the same breathe, I also expect my partner to share the respect of not associating with that person. She wouldn't have to "hate" them, but if the association started, well then somethings got to give.

I'm just confused Rome. Are you saying your significant other has to hate whom you hate and vice versa. I would like clarification on the last sentence of your post.

I'll use spitvenom question, "if your Girlfriend hates your best friend you are just going to hate your best friend?" If you start hating your other's best friend do you expect them to stop being best friends?

roxypox · Apr 20, 2009, 01:59 PM

Well, it seems that it's a good idea to stay courteous when your on the job! It certainly is more professional that way (like me and a friend keep agreeing on, we get paid to be nice, as well as doing our jobs,)

As for mutually hating people. Personally I wouldn't be too happy if a guy I was with/dating is friends with people I'm not on good terms with, and I have been in that situation, but I haven't been mad about it. Because I did find ways around it, not hearing about the person, not attending the same social gatherings. I guess it all depends on what has happened to make me dislike or hate that person.

As for this situation, it seems that you're just saying hello, your not hanging out or in the same circle of friends... so why shouldn't you be courteous and say hello?

I guess I'm kind of funny this way, but it would bother me more if I had a close friend who were friends with someone I disliked. (not that I dislike/hate that many people, but there are people that I certainly do fine without in my day-to-day life.) LOl and there are people who are connected to my circle of friends that I can be in the same room with... I just don't have to talk to them or be nice for that matter (IF the occasion calls for such a behavior.)

chuff · Apr 20, 2009, 07:31 PM

Originally Posted by omega_red_08

So, is the rule hate the same people no matter what?

Your girls problems are hers and hers alone. If she has some issue with another girl or anything for that matter you never... NEVER start to assume her problems as your own. Leave the drama for them, and be above the situation. If you girlfriend demands otherwise, tell her you are not changing yourself for her and you are not inheriting her drama or problems because you are dating.

talaniman · Apr 20, 2009, 10:24 PM

Don't ask, don't tell, and don't rub it in their face.

none12345 · Apr 20, 2009, 10:52 PM

First of all, just be polite. If it still bothers your girlfriend than I think she has some trust issues. You let her know nothing more is going on with you and this girl. You don't have to hate her. Hate is a strong word. As long as nothing more is going on, you're not doing anything wrong.

tracyhilton1201 · Apr 21, 2009, 12:18 AM

No you hate who you hate and your other half hates who they hate... you don't have to hold your other halfs grudges... your GF needs to grow up.. your on your job and you are supposed to be polite... other then that you shouldn't try and go out and hang out with someone your other half does not like because that's going to bring you issues at home...
In short no you don't have too... good luck!:cool:

omega_red_08 · Apr 21, 2009, 06:24 AM

I hope I spread the love around enough... Thanks everyone for responding and helping me out. I'm not doing anything wrong. I think my GF just may have thought there was more to the story than there was. She still acts upset but it's all in her head and I've done all I can to tell her where I'm coming from.

roxypox · Apr 21, 2009, 03:17 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Don't ask, don't tell, and don't rub it in their face.

Had to spread the rep Tal> but yeah! Short, simple and a good rule of thumb!

As for your last post Omega: that really is all you can do, tell how it is and if she still thinks there is more to the story then... it is her problem. Being courtiouse when its connected to work; there ain't nothing wrong with that as far as I see, it might actually be a good move in the long run (work-wise at least) Best of luck though ;)

Romefalls19 · Apr 21, 2009, 03:24 PM

Omega, I was just saying that my fiancé wouldn't have to hate who I hate, but if she went out of her way to be friends with them, then I would have to re-evaluate the situation. It's more of a respect issue than anything, if she respected me, and I had a VALID reason to dislike a certain person and she went out of her way to say, have drinks with. Well then that to me, is disrespectful