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Kila Malia · Mar 27, 2009, 01:35 AM

Hello I am new here. I hope I am doing this right. Anyway I am adopted. I was adopted at the age of 4 1/2 years old. When I was adopted I was a part of the family till the age of 13 or so. I did everything with my family. But when I turned 13 it all changed. They all act like they just don't care about me. My family don't even hug or say they love me but they do to the rest of the family. I am doing good though! I am married and have friends and doing pretty good but time to time I get depressed wounding why my parents act this way. Do you think they love me or care for me? Why would they adopt me then not treat me apart of the family anymore? Just thought I could get some feed back on here. Thanks Jill:confused:

ibrown · Mar 27, 2009, 02:43 AM

The best thing for you to do is go to them and ask these questions but pray about it before you do to get gods blessings while doing so.I praying for you may god bless!

artlady · Mar 27, 2009, 03:16 AM

I am sorry that you are experiencing this pain of rejection.

I know that many times adopted children feel this way and in actuality ,it is not always the case.

Did you perhaps start to pull away from your family at that age and they simply respected your wishes and treated you as they believed you wanted to be treated?

I think this is something that you should discuss with your parents.

All this time you have been suffering in silence and there may be an explanation that will heal your feelings.

Talk to them.They loved you enough to make you a part of the family and it is in your best interest to talk about this.

They may be feeling rejected also.Communication is key.Have that talk.

Kila Malia · Mar 27, 2009, 09:49 PM

Originally Posted by ibrown

the best thing for you to do is go to them and ask these questions but pray about it before you do to get gods blessings while doing so.i praying for you may god bless!

Thanks for you feedback but I have ask them time and time again and all they say is that it is not true and then change the suggest
:confused:

Kila Malia · Mar 27, 2009, 10:04 PM

Originally Posted by artlady

I am sorry that you are experiencing this pain of rejection.

I know that many times adopted children feel this way and in actuality ,it is not always the case.

Did you perhaps start to pull away from your family at that age and they simply respected your wishes and treated you as they believed you wanted to be treated?

I think this is something that you should discuss with your parents.

All this time you have been suffering in silence and there may be an explanation that will heal your feelings.

Talk to them.They loved you enough to make you a part of the family and it is in your best interest to talk about this.

They may be feeling rejected also.Communication is key.Have that talk.

No It started when I was 13. I can remember asking my dad when I am 18 will you help me find my real parents? My dad said yes! Then when I was 18 he said he never said that. I was upset but I let it go at the time. A few years later I asked my mom and she never answered. I told them that they would always be my parents but no answer. I am really trying to be apart of my family's life because I care for them! Not real sure what love is but I do care for them and I am trying to be there for them cause there not getting any younger. I have even talked to my mom about my brothers. My brothers just don't talk to me when I call them. I understand there busy but they could take a min to say hello or how you doing on the phone. They all. My family is so close to each other except me.
Oh I also had a drinking problem when I was young. I am sober now but I wounder if that has anything to do with it? You but yet again My brother and some people in my family drink and there not treated any different.I feel like I am rambling but I need to let this out:confused:

ibrown · Mar 28, 2009, 12:47 AM

Well try to go to counsling with them!

Kila Malia · Mar 28, 2009, 01:05 AM

:(

Originally Posted by ibrown

Well try to go to counsling with them!

I have tried, they refuse to go

ibrown · Mar 28, 2009, 02:06 AM

Well Im going to be praying for you because I can tell that this is hurting you.Have you tryd finding your parents yourself?

rachelcuryy08 · Mar 28, 2009, 02:45 AM

You can always go for help on finding your parents in your local town they have it set up were you can get help. Do you know there name? I understand were you coming from because children know how they feel even when they parents don't know. So just try looking for them yourself.

Synnen · Mar 28, 2009, 06:00 AM

Have you tried COUNSELING by yourself?

MANY adopted children feel the abandonment thing. Before you try to find your biological parents, it would be a good idea to know YOURSELF better than you do.

I couldn't tell you why your adoptive family behaves as they do, nor could I tell you why you react to that as you do---but a counselor could help you understand more of the situation.

I am of the firm belief that ALL members of the adoption triad should receive counseling. There is just too much emotion involved with adoption, from all angles, for the average person to understand, and it makes anyone involved with adoption feel that much MORE isolated because of it.

Ask your physician to refer you to someone who specializes in adoption counseling.

Kila Malia · Mar 29, 2009, 03:13 AM

Originally Posted by ibrown

Well Im going to be praying for you because i can tell that this is hurting you.Have you tryd finding your parents yourself?

Yes I have and got a lead once but ended up not being my real parents. Most places I have tried online are just too much for my budget so I kind of my Witt's end at the moment. But I won't give up! Thanks for your prayers! ;)

Kila Malia · Mar 29, 2009, 04:03 AM

Originally Posted by ibrown

Well Im going to be praying for you because i can tell that this is hurting you.Have you tryd finding your parents yourself?

yes I have. No luck yet