[bonnie71]

My son lies about everything he can think of. Does anyone know if this is a symptom from anything. His mother did drugs while she was pregnant, is it possible that this has done something to his thought process?

[liz28]

Have she sat down and talk to him in a calm, civil mattter? Rather than her instantly start to lecture her child about why lying is bad (you can be sure they know lying is not a good idea), first ask them to explain why they thought lying was the best choice in this situation. She can explain to him that lying is unacceptable, but if there is a reason why he felt compelled to lie, she want to know it so she can possibly eliminate any misunderstandings. This is not to say he might have a good reason for lying, just that he might feel he had a good reason for lying. Did he lie about failing a test because he thought she would tell them they are stupid? Did he lie about a party because even though it was an innocent party, he knew she absolutely forbid parties, period? If he has a reason for lying that might be removed through discussion and open communication, you remove that "excuse" in the future.

She may find that her child lied simply because he knew the behavior was wrong and he didn't want to get caught. This will mean she need to let him know in very clear terms what behaviors are unacceptable and what the consequences will be, not only for repeating that behavior, but for lying about it. These are two separate events that will lead to separate sets of consequences.

Now if your friend is unable to talk to her child than she have two options--have a trusted adult that he trust to talk to him or counselling(she cannot go wrong with this but he must be open to it). How is the relationship between the two of them.

Now you stated your friend did drugs while she was pregnant, shame on her, what drug did she do? Now I am unsure about lying being link to the parent using drugs but who knows. I've heard of a disorder labeling someone being called a compulsive liar and personally know a few people that suffers from this. They lied about everything that they shouldn't. One time I asked my cousin did she go to a bar the night before and she said no. She went on to tell me that she stayed home watch movies(even gave me names and rated them), cooked,etc. Now I knew she was lying because I know the owner that club and he didn't say nothing bad about her. He just said cousin visited club last night with friends.

Back to you, I hope you come and answers some of the questions.

[bonnie71]

We have tried everything form him talking to a health nurse and a couselor. We have sat down with him and explained the importance of telling the truth. We have never yelled at him with regards to his lying. We only want him to succeed in life. Whenever he does have the option to talk to a third party, he lies to them too. We are running out of options. We are meeting with a medical doctor tomorrow in hopes of getting some direction in finding the root of his lying.

[ced080188]

I dated a few compulsive liars, friends with some not good. Most of the time they said that they lied because they didn't want someone to find out something about them or they want to look better by embellishing. I read in a psych mag that sometimes kids lie to impress people they want more attention from or to impress someone. I also read in that article that it could possibly be that they are in a jealous state and want to measure up. It really depends on the lie I guess... good luck hope to help

[rachelcuryy08]

OK this is this have you sat down and talk with him and let him know that everybody lies. We have to be honest with our kids these days I have none but I see other children in the days we living in. You must find the time to sit down and talk to him let him know that lying you will never get no were in life lying that he will find his self burning in hell for a long time.first you must sit down and tell your child about christ how he died for our sins,how he set us free and paid the price for our sins. Look take your child to a jail that he can talk to some of the people that's in there so they can tell him about how did they make it in the jail house, whhat they did to make it in there.the thing is pray for your child and ask god to strengthen him and to bring him closer to christ I will be praying on your situation keep your head up and be strong sister love you and may god bless you...

[ced080188]

So, I was thinking about your situtation and maybe you could help silently. If you child already knows that lying is unacceptable. You got to use your head about what is being lied about. Please send a list of some recent lies he has told. I can help figure out why he is lying and give a better answer on how to help him. If it is trusting you, doing little things to gain trust like having conversations about adult things on an adult level will help gain trust. This obviously excludes crude subjects. If it is popularity, help by showing how awesome he is everyday, subltly, so he does not get a big head. Positive flows of communication will wiggle you in a little more. Then a little more without pressuring him to give you answers he can't express yet. Not to mention it will get him to re-examine his own actions and personal realtionships. He may not notice you helping now but he will thank you later.