[Golz]

What happened was that we were together for about 4-5 months and we never really had any issues other than the fact that I asked her at one point if she still had feelings for her ex and her response to me was yes and that she as unsure as to how far those feelings went. From there, I asked her if her ex was around, what would she do and she clearly told me that she would stay with me due to the connection that she had with me and that she wanted to explore our own relationship. A month later (this is during the 5th month), I realized that something was up and she seemed to be acting odd.. She was trying to push me away and give me every excuse in the book for me to basically leave her and turn my back on her altogether, which ended with her saying that she felt that it was best for us to not be together because she needed to find herself and work on herself because she still had small feelings for her ex and felt I deserved more then what she was giving. Anyway, at this point and time, we have had minimum contact and in our last conversation I expressed that I didn't know about the whole friend thing because I feel as though I would be settling.. And more than that, I don't really look at her as a friend, but on the other hand I don't see why I shouldn't be able to talk to her, when I look at her as someone who is very important to me and someone who I can trust and talk to about anything under the sun, and be very relaxed and comfortable around. So that leads me to my next question.. What should I do? Should I just cross off a women who I can so freely talk to about anything and trust, but at the same time lie to myself about what I want from her, or should I just be honest and say it's all or nothing?

[Golz]

Also, her and I have a lot of the same friends, so due to who I am.. I don't know if cutting her off is the best idea because I'm not going to bother ignoring people I know because she's around.. And that is sure to create an ugly public display if she or anyone else asks "why are you like to towards her?" Long story short, if I turn my back on her, I won't look back in the slightest and that will become very ugly.

[ZoeMarie]

It sounds to me like you did the right thing by breaking up. I wouldn't contact her. Now is the time that you both need to get over each other. Staying in contact isn't going to help either of you at all.

[Golz]

Does anyone else have any thoughts?

[Romefalls19]

Go No Contact with her as you will be better off, you will find someone who will treat you with respect and give you their all without having feelings for someone else, trust me.

[liz28]

There's no written rule that if you break-up with someone you have to remain friends. This is totally up to you but it seems like you've feelings for her so maybe now isn't a good time to be her friend.

It's doesn't matter if the two of you have friends in common. I had friends in common with one of my ex but that didn't matter to me. If the two of you happen to see each other the display shouldn't be ungly because it doesn't really seem like the two of you had a really bad dramaful break-up.

Also, your friends should be a little sensitive to the two of you break-up anyway. So time to let go and just move on. Time is too short to be stuck in time.

[h_leann_b]

If you have feelings for her.. Then you can't be friends. You will see her either with her ex or another guy and it will only hurt you. The best thing is to let her out of your life.

I am friends with 1 of my ex's. He now married with 2 kids(he broke up with ME in high school) and I am so happy for him. It hurt when he broke up with me.. but now I have no feelings for him, and we can be friends.

However, I was good friends with him before we atrated dating. If you weren't friends with her before you started a relationship.. Then it is hard to see it as a friend relationship only.

Hope this helps. Good luck and keep your chin up :)

[makapuu]

I think you should not contact your ex for a while. It's easy to fall into the "friends with benefits" trap if you two spend time together. You don't have to ignore her, but I wouldn't reach out for her. You have common friends that understand your situation and can help you through it.

[talaniman]

No Contact is for you to heal, but in no way do you have to be rude, or a jerk. Brief but polite and not as emotionally available as you were before.

Its harder to move on seeing her with the crowd, and if she dates, or flirts with others it even tougher, so be prepared, and consider widening your circle of friends, and be more independent on them.

You will find the more contact you have, the harder it gets. Heal first, and your better able to deal with being friends, if that's what you still want.

[Jimmy78]

Move on that's the best thing I can tell you, staying in contact is the worst thing you can do.