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pelfrey · Mar 14, 2009, 07:19 PM

I live in Louisiana, custody was never establish, paternity is established, the mother of my child had relinquished her rights to someone in Texas without my consent. I have been taken care of my daughter for the last 4 years and I want her back. What steps do I need to take to get my daughter back Thank you

Fr_Chuck · Mar 14, 2009, 07:39 PM

You need to hire an attorney and file for custody of the child

pelfrey · Mar 14, 2009, 07:55 PM

I've spoke to a couple of lawyers they all have quoted me $1500 an dlegal aid is not available. I make enough to provide for my family. How can I find someone to help me

Fr_Chuck · Mar 14, 2009, 07:58 PM

What is it, you need an attorney for, 1500 could be cheap or high depending on the service you are getting

JudyKayTee · Mar 15, 2009, 05:38 AM

Is this concerning the Family Law problem on your other thread?

Please post once with all the information or answering correctly becomes difficult.

cdad · Mar 15, 2009, 08:29 AM

How long have they been in the custody of another and how long have you known about it ? Ansering those questions can help us guide you to what you need. But in the end your going to need a lawyer.

pelfrey · Mar 15, 2009, 09:19 PM

I just found about her being tyaken out of state 4 days ago. She is only 6 and is w/ another man since Jan the 9. On Christmas eve her mother took her and never brought her back

JudyKayTee · Mar 16, 2009, 05:16 AM

If you have been the main caretaker of your daughter for 4 years, how did this happen?

pelfrey · Mar 20, 2009, 12:58 PM

Her mother wanted her for Christmas and she never returned her I just recently got married and she got mad and kept her away , I couldn't find my child since

JudyKayTee · Mar 20, 2009, 01:32 PM

If you already have a custody order - and I am going to "assume" you do - go to Family Court and file that the Order be enforced. You do not need an Attorney.

pelfrey · Mar 21, 2009, 07:57 PM

There was no custody established between the mother and I. tried to keep the child out of the courts I was ignorant to what may happen

ScottGem · Mar 21, 2009, 08:23 PM

So instead of finding out the facts, its now going to cost you. Do you have any proof that you have been her primary caretaker? You can go to Family Court and ask for an emergency custody hearing. The fact that the mother has hidden the child from you will work against her.

Once you have a custody order, you can go pick up the child. Go to the town where she is and go to the police, explain the circumstances and ask them to accompany you to pick her up.

GeorgeMcCasland · Mar 21, 2009, 10:45 PM

Originally Posted by pelfrey

I live in Louisiana, custody was never establish, paternity is established, the mother of my child had relinquished her rights to someone in Texas without my consent. i have been taken care of my daughter for the last 4 years and I want her back. What steps do I need to take to get my daughter back Thank you

In what way did she relinquish her rights? If it was done through the courts, there's a case file you can look at to prepare for a challenge. If all she did was provide them a notarized statement giving them Guardianship, things can be a little easier, but not much. You are a single father, meaning without a court order, you have no presumed rights to the child. And as you should know, Louisiana law and judicial system if a little different from the rest of the country.

You don't talk to two attorneys about this, you interview 6-12 attorneys.

Have you created a Chronological Statement?
Are you keeping a journal?

Louisiana Shared Parenting is a Father's Group there that may be of help. I'm not directly familiar with them.

Texas Fathers for Equal Rights may also be a good source. It's the largest in the country. If this becomes a Texas case, you can ask for a jury trial, the only place where that's done.

You have an up mountain, not hill, battle ahead of you. In a word, prepare, prepare, prepare.

Get an order enter forcing a DNA test, unless one has already been done.

DO NOT PAY ANY KIND OF SUPPORT FOR THE CHILD UNTIL A DNA TEST IS DONE, AS IT ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CHILD.

Once you begin paying child support, regardless of whether you are the father or not, you can be required to continue paying.

If one has not been done, go to the child support enforcement to setup a voluntary order. Wait for them to file against you will result in you paying all court costs of up to $5000, plus retroactive support. Anything you've given her can be considered a gift.

Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you’ve taken it only looks good to them.

Start keeping a daily journal of all you activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.

Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You’re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state,
"Can We Tape?"

Consider Bird Nest Custody. In this the child lives in one home and each parent lives there for 3-4 weeks, than switch. You live with friends, family, rent a room, etc. on the off time. In this manner, your child’s life is not disrupted. They are not being shifted back and forth. They keep their own room, friends, school, etc. It is hard on the parents, but than the child comes first. This is the form of custody rocker Ted Nugent had.
Bird Nest Custody

If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There's an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do.
Dads House

A couple of additional
Fathers & Families
Parental Alienation Syndrome

cadillac59 · Mar 21, 2009, 11:43 PM

Originally Posted by GeorgeMcCasland

In what way did she relinquish her rights? If it was done through the courts, there's a case file you can look at to prepare for a challenge. If all she did was provide them a notarized statement giving them Guardianship, things can be a little easier, but not much. You are a single father, meaning without a court order, you have no presumed rights to the child. And as you should know, Louisiana law and judicial system if a little different from the rest of the country.

You don't talk to two attorneys about this, you interview 6-12 attorneys.

Have you created a Chronological Statement?
Are you keeping a journal?

Louisiana Shared Parenting is a Father's Group there that may be of help. I'm not directly familiar with them.

Texas Fathers for Equal Rights may also be a good source. It's the largest in the country. If this becomes a Texas case, you can ask for a jury trial, the only place where that's done.

You have an up mountain, not hill, battle ahead of you. In a word, prepare, prepare, prepare.

Get an order enter forcing a DNA test, unless one has already been done.

DO NOT PAY ANY KIND OF SUPPORT FOR THE CHILD UNTIL A DNA TEST IS DONE, AS IT ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CHILD.

Once you begin paying child support, regardless of whether you are the father or not, you can be required to continue paying.

If one has not been done, go to the child support enforcement to setup a voluntary order. Wait for them to file against you will result in you paying all court costs of up to $5000, plus retroactive support. Anything you've given her can be considered a gift.

Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you’ve taken it only looks good to them.

Start keeping a daily journal of all you activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A daily journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.

Gather evidence. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You’re that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state,
"Can We Tape?"

Consider Bird Nest Custody. In this the child lives in one home and each parent lives there for 3-4 weeks, than switch. You live with friends, family, rent a room, etc. on the off time. In this manner, your child’s life is not disrupted. They are not being shifted back and forth. They keep their own room, friends, school, etc. It is hard on the parents, but than the child comes first. This is the form of custody rocker Ted Nugent had.
Bird Nest Custody

If you want to learn how to do all this go to Dads House in Yahoo Groups. There's an educational manual in the file section that can teach you what you need to know. Take the time to learn what you can and should do.
Dads House

A couple of additional
Fathers & Families
Parental Alienation Syndrome

Looks like it's one-size-fits-all legal advice for everybody with the cut-and-paste convenience of the modern computer.

Hey, what do we need courts and judges and lawyers for with advice out there like this?

GeorgeMcCasland · Mar 21, 2009, 11:53 PM

Originally Posted by cadillac59

Looks like it's one-size-fits-all legal advice for everybody with the cut-and-paste convenience of the modern computer.

Hey, what do we need courts and judges and lawyers for with advice out there like this?

When cases follow a common pattern, they follow a common line of advice. Has worked for 20 years, though it irritates the hell out of attorneys. You need attorneys, just the right attorneys, not just one who makes themselves look like they know what they are doing. You need judges, but you learn how to use court watch to make sure he/she is unbias, and how to file a complaint when they are.

cadillac59 · Mar 22, 2009, 12:01 AM

Originally Posted by GeorgeMcCasland

When cases follow a common pattern, they follow a common line of advice. Has worked for 20 years, though it irritates the hell out of attorneys. You need attorneys, just the right attorneys, not just one who makes themselves look like they know what they are doing. You need judges, but you learn how to use court watch to make sure he/she is unbias, and how to file a complaint when they are.

That so-called advice is ridiculous and makes no sense at all. And many of the factual claims are simply untrue. There are totally false as far as California law is concerned.

GeorgeMcCasland · Mar 22, 2009, 12:07 AM

Originally Posted by cadillac59

That so-called advice is ridiculous and makes no sense at all. And many of the factual claims are simply untrue. There are totally false as far as California law is concerned.

Thousands of others didn't think so. By the way, did you join all the other attorneys the funeral of James Cook, two weeks ago?

In case you also don't know who he was.
Father Makes Two - TIME MAGAZINE

cadillac59 · Mar 22, 2009, 12:37 AM

Originally Posted by GeorgeMcCasland

Thousands of others didn't think so. By the way, did you join all the other attorneys the funeral of James Cook, two weeks ago?

In case you also don't know who he was.
Father Makes Two - TIME MAGAZINE

Ah, okay... I think it's time to stop the back and forth that's been going on. The board moderators don't like that and it's not helpful to the OP.

My apologoes to the powers-that-be. I get a little wound up sometimes (it sort of goes with being a lawyer, an occupational hazard so to speak).