[shyfoxie]

I think I'd like to try anal with my boyfriend for several reasons:
1) I like being touched back there
2) I've got a dildo vibe that I discovered a while back is nice in there if I lube it a bit
3) I know he'd be gentle and back off carefully if need be. When I first started with him he was probably more careful about that than I was, and as a result I actually was able to enjoy even my first time.

He hasn't asked yet, but I know how much he likes touching my a$$ and spreading me during sex, and there was this one time he pressed on there during sex. Didn't enter, just lingered there while he was still hard after doing me doggie style. I didn't really give him a sign to go on, though, and he was pass-out tired, seeing as this was round 3 back-to-back after he'd worked all day. I didn't want to do anything that'd take to long to do properly.

I've read the syndicated columns and a lot of the threads on here, and I know the advice about fingers and lube and whatnot works on me when I'm by myself with s toy, but is this applicable to the real thing, or am I going to have to "re-train" myself to get used to my man in there?

[Nestorian]

You may consider a toy back there, but personaly, I've found girls that are first timers for anal, prefer for the guy to first put one finger in, and get you used to the idea. Then two, and be gentle, see how that goes, and if he can three fingers 2 side by side, then the tird below. It will hurt a bit, but you just have to keep trying it till you get used to it and it stretches. You need to learn to relax down their, very important. Also, keep a towl on hand, I've heard of times whe it gets messy, yeah.
But yeah, I suggest the fingers Idea. If he is cool with that. Feel free to experiment. I hope this wasnt' too much for you, he can use a condom on his fingers to avoid um... Unpleasent accedents. It does happen. I was luckey I was warned before I experienced it, haha. Any who good luck.. Have fun? Feel free to ask any thing else, I've got a lot of books on human anatamy/ sex/ sexual habits etc. And there are a lot of people with great advice on here.
The toys should work, and as long as you can get used to your toys in there, you should be able to get used to him to, just like you said, slow and stead, and if a problem happens he'll stop. Again, I suggest asking "him" do try the fingers first.
Peace and kindness be with you.

[smoothy]

This is a good way to learn sphincter control which is why some people complain about pain. They never bothered to learn a little control. Start small and work your way up. As long as the toy is as least as big as he is then you will get the results you are after.

The advantage being you cam move completely at your own pace which will help you learn the control you need to enjoy this act fully.

[Choux]

Whatever doesn't hurt or become painful, what gives some pleasure is good to try. That goes for trying a small vibrater or other small toys.

You have to understand that there are downsides to certain sexual activities just as there are downsides to all human activities. I suggest you read up on health aspects of anal penetration.

Best wishes, :)

[shyfoxie]

Well I was already doing this by myself even before I met him, so I was just hoping that it'd make things easier to do. So far things have been great with him (I'm resisting the urge to use embarrassing pet names now!), so anything that'd keep things going great is nice.

[desiresecrets]

In my opinion, anal sex toys could be a good preparation to the real anal sex with your boy-friend.

There are a rang wide of anal sex toys such as butt plug, phallix glass sex toys and so on. Don't forget also to use plenty of personal lubricants during of anal sex.

You can also buy a strap-on. This this case your boy-friend will wear it on his legs and penetrate you from the back. In the same time his hands will stimulate your erogenous zones.

[h_leann_b]

I never used sex toys personaly, but lube every time, even now. It does hurt at first but after 30sec or so it doesn't anymore. Just remember to relax, and smooth sailing from there ;)

[artlady]

You have been given ample advice on preparing yourself so I would only add,in case you were unaware that you never put anything in your vagina that has been in your rectum before a thorough cleansing.To do less would be to introduce bacteria into the vagina which can cause bacterial vaginosis.

[h_leann_b]

You have been given ample advice on preparing yourself so I would only add,in case you were unaware that you never put anything in your vagina that has been in your rectum before a thorough cleansing.To do less would be to introduce bacteria into the vagina which can cause bacterial vaginosis.

Amen

[chrissymarie]

Penis is not meant to go inside of your anus. It is body mutalation and you can really really hurt yourself. I'd say refrain from this and stick to normal vaginal intercourse. Any doctor would tell you the same thing. Not everything that is pleasurable is healthy.

[Alty]

Penis is not meant to go inside of your anus. It is body mutalation and you can really really hurt yourself. I'd say refrain from this and stick to normal vaginal intercourse. Any doctor would tell you the same thing. Not everything that is pleasurable is healthy.

I have to disagree. Anal sex, when done correctly, can be very pleasureable and safe. Can you hurt yourself? Yes, but the same is true of vaginal sex.

Do some research before you try it, make sure you use lots of lubrication and that are you are very relaxed and comfortable with your partner.

Good luck.

[chrissymarie]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Q:
Is anal sex dangerous? Can it cause damage to your body?



A:
This is a complicated question to answer as there are many people for whom anal intercourse is a regular and enjoyed sexual activity. But it is medically risky behavior nevertheless, even if condoms are used as a barrier for STDs.

The anal sphincter muscle is not anatomically designed to comfortably admit external objects--it is designed to relax and stretch when stimulated internally by rectal fullness from stool. The automatic reflex is for it to contract and tighten when pressure is applied externally. So relaxation of the sphincter for external penetration is learned over time because otherwise it is very uncomfortable, and must only be done with gentle continual pressure, and lots and lots of lubricant. The risks, even with gentle insertion, are laceration of the anal tissue, and rectal mucosa, resulting in pain, bleeding, and difficulty passing stool comfortably.

Any presence of blood can potentially expose the insertive partner to bloodborne STDs like Hep. B, Hep. C, and HIV. In addition, exposure to stool can result in urethral infections in a male insertive partner.

The receptive partner is at more risk for contracting STDs if there is trauma (even microscopic) to the anus or rectum due to the potential presence of virus in semen, if ejaculation takes place in the rectum. Human papilloma virus also is likely to be spread anally due to this trauma to the anal and rectal tissue, and some of the most difficult persistent HPV infections we see are chronic anal warts, both external and internal to the anal sphincter and they are exceptionally difficult to treat, often requiring surgery to remove.

Aside from the traumatic and infectious risks, there is the risk of sphincter tone (tightness) loss over time due to repeated dilation for insertive intercourse. Many receptive partners experience stool incontinence (leaking of stool or poor control) when they have anal sphincter tone decrease. This, needless to say, is very bothersome and uncomfortable and has to be surgically corrected if it becomes chronic.

Lastly, there is increased risk of spreading gastrointestinal pathogens through anal contact--whether it is bacterial infections like salmonella or E. Coli, or parasitic infections like Giardia.

The bottom line (pun not intended) is that having anal sex is a form of sexual expression enjoyed by some people, and that involves potential discomfort and risk to both partners.

~The Doc

[Alty]

Still have to disagree. I've been having anal sex for a long time, in fact that's the first sexual experience I ever had and I've never had any problems.

There are a lot of misconceptions about anal sex, the above is one of many.

[liz28]

I have to agree with Alty on this Chrissy. I agree with you when you say "everything that is presurable isn't healthy" but the same rule can apply to with having vaginal intercourse. You have some peoole that sticks all kind weird object in them just because it gives them pleasure. You can get Std's from having vaginal intercourse too.

Back to the OP, anal beads is another way to prepare yourself for anal sex. Whenever you do decide to do just relax.

[abodh]

Chrissymarie
You put good suggestion. I liked your suggestion.

[Synnen]

Who is "The Doc"?

Sources, please.

[45notdaddy]

Still have to disagree. I've been having anal sex for a long time, in fact that's the first sexual experience I ever had and I've never had any problems.

There are alot of misconceptions about anal sex, the above is one of many.

I concurr

[smoothy]

I've been married 17 years... and after 17 years of anal sex no poop dropping problems with wife. Its all about mussel tone. Just because you stretch a mussle and exercise it doesn't turn it to flab.

Look at any athlete and contortionist out there to prove the point.

[oklahomie]

I don't know if you have gone on to the point of trying. But there are two ways that I've heard feel the less painful for you when he enters. One is for you to be on top facing away from him. It allows you to move him in at your own pace. The other and my preference is for him to enter missionary, and slowly. Also one thing is if when he enters, it hurts. Have him take it back out and than wait a few minutes. If he enters slowly again, it usually never feels as bad. You'd be amazed at how good it feels for him if one of you uses a finger in your vagina during anal sex.

[MarkwithaK]

....which can cause bacterial vaginosis.

Well if that don't just scream sexy then I don't know what does ;)