Check out some similar questions!

Lillih · Mar 6, 2009, 02:13 PM

Hello. I'm a 16 year old female and I have decided to join this Website because something is bothering me and I would like some answers.
It is about me and my boyfriend. We are both virgins.
Some night, we tried to have sex. Tried. That is right. We were so fine. Everything was just great... But it didn't work out. He just couldn't do it. And I don't see why. Now I keep thinking that something must be wrong with me or with him. I feel bad kind of bad... Like he doesn't want me anymore... because since then he never talked with me about it again.
But is this normal? Do all males have this kind of "problem" in the "beginning"?
Thank you. :o

rippedinside · Mar 6, 2009, 02:21 PM

I'd personally think that it's probably his self conscience. Both of you being virgins, maybe he felt bad for not knowing? I'm not sure actually! I'd love to read others comments on this one. :D

I'm sure it's not you though, maybe it was simply the situation. Have you tried talking to him?

Wondergirl · Mar 6, 2009, 02:27 PM

Originally Posted by Lillih

Hello. I'm a 16 year old female and I have decided to join this Website because something is bothering me and I would like some answers.
It is about me and my boyfriend. We are both virgins.
Some night, we tried to have sex. Tried. That is right. We were so fine. Everything was just great... But it didn't work out. He just couldn't do it. And I don't see why. Now I keep thinking that something must be wrong with me or with him. I feel bad kind of bad... Like he doesn't want me anymore...because since then he never talked with me about it again.
But is this normal? Do all males have this kind of "problem" in the "beginning"?
Thank you. :o

This can happen to any male at any time. One name is "performance anxiety" which is exactly what it says--maybe because it was his first time, maybe because you two were in an insecure situation where someone could have interrupted you, maybe because he wanted it to be perfect and was overthinking it. And guys don't want to talk about stuff, especially stuff like this.

Lillih · Mar 6, 2009, 02:30 PM

Originally Posted by rippedinside

I'd personally think that it's probably his self conscience. Both of you being virgins, maybe he felt bad for not knowing? I'm not sure actually! I'd love to read others comments on this one. :D

I'm sure it's not you though, maybe it was simply the situation. Have you tried talking to him?

Hi. Thanks for the answer. :)
No... I haven't talked to him about it because I guess he feels ashamed.
And the truth is I don't know how guys face this... I don't know what guys may think...
That is why I tried to avoid talking with him about this.
I am afraid I might hurt him if I talk about this situation.

Justwantfair · Mar 6, 2009, 02:32 PM

I would just like to say although you didn't ask... PLEASE USE PROTECTION.

Other than that it is fairly common for there to be a lot of anxiety the first time especially for boys.

They are expected to know what to do. Although I must add that you do not need to jump to sex as you are apprently not completely comfortable with each other yet.

Lillih · Mar 6, 2009, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

And guys don't want to talk about stuff, especially stuff like this.

Hi Wondergirl... Thanks for the answer.
Yea that is what I thought... :(
But I don't see why they just don't talk about it.

Justwantfair · Mar 6, 2009, 02:33 PM

Originally Posted by Lillih

Hi. Thanks for the answer. :)
No... I haven't talked to him about it because I guess he feels ashamed.
And the truth is I don't know how guys face this... I don't know what guys may think...
That is why I tried to avoid talking with him about this.
I am afraid I might hurt him if I talk about this situation.

This is another factor that you are not emotionally ready for sex because you don't feel comfortable talking it over with him.

Lillih · Mar 6, 2009, 02:36 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

I would just like to say although you didn't ask... PLEASE USE PROTECTION.

Other than that it is fairly common for there to be alot of anxiety the first time especially for boys.

They are expected to know what to do. Although I must add that you do not need to jump to sex as you are apprently not completely comfortable with each other yet.

Thanks for the answer. :)
And about the protection... I'm sure that is one thing girls don't forget

Lillih · Mar 6, 2009, 02:37 PM

Originally Posted by Justwantfair

This is another factor that you are not emotionally ready for sex because you don't feel comfortable talking it over with him.

I avoid it just because I don't want to hurt his feelings.

Wondergirl · Mar 6, 2009, 02:46 PM

Originally Posted by Lillih

Hi Wondergirl... Thanks for the answer.
Yea that is what I thought... :(
But I don't see why they just don't talk about it.

Guys don't like to talk about ANYthing related to feelings. They want to talk about sports, girls, and cars, plus maybe food, school, and music.

Girls are the emotional ones who want to talk about feelings, who want to share, who want to figure out relationships. Guys are concrete thinkers and problem solvers for YOUR problems, not their own (because they don't admit to having any).

Just act normal and cheery, and be your usual self.

Lillih · Mar 6, 2009, 02:56 PM

The truth is it isn't easy to do that.
But I'll work on it... :)
Thanks Wondergirl

Wondergirl · Mar 6, 2009, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by Lillih

The truth is it isn't easy to do that.
But I'll work on it...:)
Thanks Wondergirl

The more you dwell on it and bring it up, the more he will be embarrassed and feel like he's inadequate.

notluckygirl · Mar 7, 2009, 03:10 PM

Maby he just can't and if it was the first time it will so hard you should tell him about htat and ask him y he stopted OK