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ijustfoundout · Mar 2, 2009, 06:54 AM

HI all,

Here's a new one for you... my GF of 4 years is in love with me and likewise... we have the best time etc... things have been rocky recently as she has a bad temper and I like a puppy dog always forgive her for her actions. Because she is damn beautiful! Sex is like a dream! etc...

Well anyway, I had a funny feeling about her. Just don't trust her for some reason... she was away and I decided to snoop on her computer. Well, what I found was ads she posted on Craigslist. The ads were for erotic services and then I found some emails of her talking to men about hooking. She asked them how much, they would pay her.. etc.

I couldn't believe what I was reading! She always acted very "GOOD GIRL" around me, and I was heartbroken to discover this. NOW here's the question, I don't know if she has done anything or if she's just curious, you know? I may be in denial but I don't have PROOF that she has "been" with anyone, even by the emails that I read.

My question is... I don't want to confront her on this since I don't have absolute proof but how can I forget that she didn't do it. Point is, do I trust her or do I head for the hills and never deal with her again. Remember, she supposedly loves me and we have been in love for 4 years!

Thanks

StaticFX · Mar 2, 2009, 07:16 AM

WOW!. that I must say.. is not a typical situation!

All I can say is what I would do. I would catch her - make sure. How about setting her email up with a BCC or set a rule to auto send copies to you... something so you can get more info.

Good luck

streve · Mar 2, 2009, 07:39 AM

If there is no trust, there is no relationship. You'll always have that feeling in the back of your head about what you saw.

I'm assuming when you say "proof", you're saying there isn't any significant contact information that would link the ads directly to her?

ijustfoundout · Mar 2, 2009, 07:50 AM

no... I have proof that she did do the ads... and I even have contact information of the people she emailed... BUT I don't have proof that she did anything. YOU KNOW?

And she certainly hasn't told me what she is or isn't doing...

oldenoughtoknow · Mar 2, 2009, 08:02 AM

Make up a fake email and name etc reply to the add, offer a lot of money and see if she comes to meet you? Can't catch her more red handed then that

ijustfoundout · Mar 2, 2009, 08:09 AM

Well, I did make up an ad but not about her hooking... it was about something else she was doing, business wise... and she didn't tell me she was doing it.. it was legit. But the thing is she DID respond to that one... that is what got me suspicious in the first place...

Cmon people... help me out here.

What do I do? What would you do? This is not a joke, this really is happening to me.

liz28 · Mar 2, 2009, 08:21 AM

You don't know if she contacting people out the net and nobody does this for no reason. You need to confront and view her actions by watching her body language and then leave.

How can you be with someone that you don't trust? Put the love for her aside and do what is best for you.

She has you wrap around her fingers because you accept everything that she dishes out to you by being her pet. Her hot temper with you isn't good but you deal with it, why? Get over her beauty, the sex, and man up and stop letting this girl walk all over you. People only do what you allow them to do to you.

And with the new events that's going on how more proof do you need? It seems that your letting your feelings for her intefere with your common sense and your love for her is deeper than her's because we people are in love with one another you wouldn't do this to your mate and be doing what she did. She better hope that an undercover cop doesn't catch her because they're cracking down on females that do this on craigslist and if she wants to sell herself than step aside and let her.

UnluckyDucky · Mar 2, 2009, 08:31 AM

Even if she had an extremely damn good reason why that stuff is out there, I do not seeing this turning out well. I would be extremely cautious about this and be ready for just about anything - you have to watch out for your heart first here.

I know you're saying there's no proof that she's done anything, but still I highly recommend getting some STD tests done to make sure you haven't contracted anything from her in case she has been fooling around with other guys. Who knows how long this has been going on?

ijustfoundout · Mar 2, 2009, 08:32 AM

That's very helpful advice... anyone else please comment id like as many opinions as possible!!

StaticFX · Mar 2, 2009, 08:37 AM

I like the idea of emailing her with a proposition.

Set up the time and place... and if she shows up there. That's all the proof you need.

AND GET TESTED AS UnluckyDucky Said!

suddenImpact · Mar 2, 2009, 08:44 AM

e-mailing her, and having her meet you is one sure way to find out. On the other hand though, I think that brings you down to her level. You need to just tell her that you were having some trust issues, admit that you were wrong for even going through her personal e-mails, but then question what she has been doing. Even if she is or has done these things, that don't give you the right to go through her private e-mails... admit that you were wrong, and maybe she will too.

oldenoughtoknow · Mar 2, 2009, 08:58 AM

You could ask her of course she will deny everything and then you either end it with her or stay with her But you will always be wondering if what she told you was the truth. For me that would be the end of the relationship right there- finding them email.s I would say you are interested in meeting and that money is no object and for her to name her price. Then maybe ask for some sexy photos see where it goes from there. Arrange a time when you know she is free to meet at a posh hotel. Wait outside the hotel and if she shows up you will know for definite. No more questions no more what ifs or buts. I know its sneaky but advertising yourself on craigslist behind your boyfriends back is pretty darn sneaky.

streve · Mar 2, 2009, 09:48 AM

Setting up a fake arrangement and catching her at the meeting place doesn't really solve anything. It only solves half the problem. Yea, you busted her attempting to go through with the situation, but you never caught her IN THE ACT. So, now... you're back to square one with a sh*t-ton of arguing and explaining to do afterward.

jmw0713 · Mar 2, 2009, 09:58 AM

Dude, enough with the games. You either out her little escapade, talk it out, and deal with it or you leave.

If you don't it will just eat at you to no end, and you will go crazy with jealousy and distrust. By the time that happens, she will notice and probably dump you anyway.

Better to get everything out in the open now and deal with it one way or the other.

I would not setup a meeting with her through her ad on Craigslist. There is way to many things that can potentially go wrong there.

ijustfoundout · Mar 2, 2009, 10:38 AM

OK thanks for your input...