[Skyla002]

Whenever a older married man say around late 30s to 40s tries to help me out with anything, I always end up sexually attracted to them and end up sleeping or kissing them, why does this happen?
My best mates dad was like a dad to me but then I started to have feelings for him and we had an affair but it stopped because I moved away. My boss was always there for me could talk to him about anything and helped me through a lot, same thing happpend.
A close police man friend helped me through a lot and know I'm sexually attracted to him, and there's been quite a few others.
Do you think maybe its because when I was 13 my youth leader who I was really close to started touchig me and we had an affair?
Also I got my heart broken terribly by a boyfriend when I was 16 and never been able to have a relationship that's lasted longer then a month now.
Also suffered severe depression.
Why am I like this?

[139033]

This happens with you because simply I would say" you always look for help. 13 & 16 is the age when every body has feeling for attraction which is obvious.But getting up to this extent is not a good sign.
Life is not so easy. One has to do lots of sacrifices and has to keep lots of patience.
You must think about your future, and life.
Love, attraction is not the end of life. There are many more things that you have to do in your life. Think about those.
Try to concentrate on your job,

You are absolutely OK. Don't think that you are helpless.Think that you are selfsufficient, and selfmotivated.
Loneliness may be one of the cause for DEPRESSION my poor friend
Please come out of this .

[dontknownuthin]

I am no expert but you did not have an affair, first of all, with that youth counselors. 13 year olds do not have affairs with adults - they are sexually molested (raped) by adults. It doesn't matter if you liked it at the time or not... it was rape. No normal adult would consider starting any sort of sexual or emotional relationship of that nature with a child as that A&*()hole did.

So what do I think of the rest? First, you got some closeness, which you craved, from the sexual relations. But you are chosing men who you know up front you cannot have, which protects you from being abandoned by them later. You know you can't have them, get a quick fix of intimacy, and you can tell yourself you didn't loose them because they were never yours.

You need to get some counseling, and as for the depression - there's no reason to go around depressed today. There are so many good medications that can take the edge off so that you can have the energy and right brain chemstry in place to work through the rest.

Get some counseling - rape counseling for the incident when you were a child, and you can also go through how that has woven through your other life experiences, and the breakup when you were a teenager.

And set a rule for yourself. No matter how lonely you are or how attractive you are, think of the heart of the person who is married to these men and the lack of decency on their part if they are willing to have sex with you, or even to flirt with you. Do you want a man who would cheat on his wife or girlfriend? That's the lowest form of man... you can do better.

You need to learn to be happy alone, raise your standards and self image, work through past feelings and experiences, and then you can find a guy your own age who is free to love you completely. It's a risk, but we all go through heartbreak in life and if we learn to manage it, we can grow from it and bring all that we learn into the ultimate right relationship.

God bless!

[Justwantfair]

What is your relationship like with your father?

[EnglishSolution]

Hello, I agree with the above response, your father will most certainly be the one to have either started this trend or because he was absent in your life you now feel closely connected to men of an older age range. I am in my young twenties and when I was eighteen nineteen I slept with my best guy friend who was 36 at the time. Not only was I sexually attracted to him but sexually confused as well. My father was never involved in my life and I never knew him growing up. I did not consider this man to be my father but more like a male figure in my life. I was only sexually attracted to him not that much emotionally except as a friend.
I completely understand what you are going through except when you were thirteen. When you are that young your body is going through hoardes of emotionally, physically, and mental issues, growing and strengthening. Being of that age you do not know what you want you may only know what others tell you and then again you might just like it because it felt good at the time. But when you are 13 it is not consensual and therefore it is defined at rape.
As for being depressed, I am sorry, and I hope that you will be able to one day find someone that you can relate to wholeheartedly and be able to give yourself to in a respectable and healthy manner.

Cheers.