[N_THE_MOUNTAINS]

Let me explain why I am on here and a little about myself, I have been married for four years same man never cheated ever, We have a beautiful three year old she is my world, My husband has been accusing me of cheating on him since we first got together, which is something that I would never do and have nerver ever even thought of, Not to mention that I stay home all the time I never go anywhere without him, I have no car no money nothing at all, Did I mention we live right beside of his whole family, I have never wanted to go anywhere without him just because I don't want to be accused more than I already am, this is basically destroying me emotionally and I have no idea of what I should so, he doesn't believe me even though I have done everything possible to prove my innocence, even swearing on my baby's life even when I was pregnant, I have left myself dirty for days, I never clean up unless we are going to the grocery store or something like that, When he works he comes home and examines my viginal, every night, As if I have done something which is just not so, He talks like my vagina is bigger and bigger which is another thing that makes me feel really bad about myself, I feel like I don't please him and that another woman could make him happier, I love him he is my first real love but I just don't know what to do anymore, this is only part of my problems they are the most severe and I have to hear them on a day to day basis, He has even accused me of slleeping with ever one in his family so it makes it hard for me to go around any of my in laws he is trying to acuse me of sleeping with his 16 year old nephew which to me is just sick, So what is going on with my marriage can I fix it at all, Is this abuse? I don't have the money to go to counceling we are pretty much just getting by so what can I do please any help would be greatly appreciated, Thank You,

[Illusion]

Well, yes - your husband is abusive and he has taken his behavior too far. He has a terrible sense of self and wants to control you -and unfortunately he is destroying his relationship with you. This is all about him and his needs - which were never met when he was a child. This is not a relationship with two people, it is a relationship with one person and his needs. You will need to decide whether you will continue in this situation. You are correct to question this situation and your husband's behavior - which is not only strange but abusive. Checking your vagina every night is not going to confirm whether you have been unfaithful - your husband needs help. If you cannot get counseling, seek to find a friend, one of your own family members to talk with, someone that can help you decide whether you will continue to tolerate this situation. This is not good for you and/or your child.

[ashey23ole]

Wow this level of paranoia almost sounds schizophrenic. He has some serious issues. Also, in psychology, its thought that when someone does something they take their guilt out by blaming it on someone else. SO, if he is cheating, then he will accuse you of cheating. However, him believing your sleeping with his family? That's serious abuse. Get out.