Check out some similar questions!

teastalk · Feb 23, 2009, 12:14 PM

My boyfriend told me that I couldn't see him playing basketball with his friends because he would get all sweaty and he didn't want me to see him like that. I didn't mind it that time so I just let it go.

Then another time when he was playing basketball with some of our mutual friends, I wanted to go see. I asked him if I could go, and he told me that I shouldn't go. One of our mutual friends asked me to go, so I went to the basketball game, but was late enough that I didn't get to see him play. He didn't come up to talk with me after the game, but one of my guy friends came and talked with me. My boyfriend and the rest of us went to eat at Taco Bell after the game, and my boyfriend paid for me.

When I wanted to join an event by a club on campus, my boyfriend told me not to go. He told me that he didn't want me to see something that he made with the club that was going to be shown at the event. He said that he was embarrassed. I don't remember what happened exactly, but I ended up going, and he seemed to be okay with it.

At some other point we were keeping the relationship on the down low because I had just broken up with someone else. I wanted to publicize our relationship, but my boyfriend said that it wasn't the right time.

At some point after that I told him that I wanted to go to the botanical gardens, and he told me that I would think that the zoo was boring, thus ending the conversation about going to the botanical gardens.

I also asked him to go to an art museum, but he said that I would think that the art museum was too boring, and so we didn't end up going there.

He told me that if I wanted to go somewhere to just ask him, but sometimes I feel like we don't ever get out of the house. Am I suppose to force him to get out of the house?

spitvenom · Feb 23, 2009, 12:20 PM

You wanted to go to the art museum and he told you that you would be bored there?
I have to ask does anyone know that you two are dating? Because it sounds to me that you are his side girl not his girlfriend.

Romefalls19 · Feb 23, 2009, 12:40 PM

Welcome to being the "other woman" because these are all signs to a player

HistorianChick · Feb 23, 2009, 12:57 PM

Sounds like he is embarrassed of your relationship. Embarrassed of you? Maybe, but definitely not comfortable being seen together in public.

Hon, you deserve better than this. You deserve to be with someone who will shout it on the rooftops, show you off, and want you at every game - to cheer him on. Don't settle for being hidden in the closet.

kitten420 · Feb 23, 2009, 01:21 PM

Sounds to me like he don't want anyone to know you are together. You need to cut ends with him. He most likey is cheatong on you or he is cheating on his real girlfriend with you. You shouldn't be with anyone that isn't wanting to publisize your relationship and show you off to the public.

liz28 · Feb 23, 2009, 01:34 PM

If he keeps putting you off by do you cotinue to with him while he ignores you and you compromise for him. I think it's time to move on to someone who doesn't mind being seen with you in public and your caompatible with.

This doesn't sounds like a relationship b ut maybe you think it is but it isn't.

teastalk · Feb 23, 2009, 03:54 PM

Originally Posted by spitvenom

You wanted to go to the art museum and he told you that you would be bored there?
I have to ask does anyone know that you two are dating? Because it sounds to me that you are his side girl not his girlfriend.

Yes, our mutual friends know that we are in a relationship, but it's weird because we're never seen together.

He often says that he is too busy to meet with me during the day and we only really meet once a week for a couple of hours; just the two of us.

teastalk · Feb 24, 2009, 11:25 AM

Hi guys, my boyfriend broke up with me, but I still love him. I know that this is a major problem on this board.

We didn't have any fights.

So what should I do?

spitvenom · Feb 24, 2009, 11:31 AM

From your last post you said the two of you only saw each other for a few hours. And you never went anywhere in public. That is not a healthy relationship. Best thing to do is move on. Yes it hurts but do you really want to be in a relationship where you only saw the person a few hours. You are better off. Look at it as a blessing in disguise.

teastalk · Feb 24, 2009, 11:59 AM

Thank you Spitvenom.
:) I need to keep remembering this, but I keep forgetting. Thank you for reminding me and I'm not being sarcastic, I'm being real.

I just keep thinking that things could have worked out between me and my ex, but I guess I need reality checks like everyone does.

spitvenom · Feb 24, 2009, 12:07 PM

Everyone goes through these things. You just learn from it and move on.

Fr_Chuck · Feb 24, 2009, 12:11 PM

In the end, if he wants to break up and move on, you don' have a choice, the normal recommendation is no contact, and slowly move on

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 24, 2009, 01:17 PM

Sometimes we can love someone but its not meant to be. The only thing you can do is keep your chin up, create a better life for yourself and move on.

teastalk · Feb 24, 2009, 01:48 PM

Ok, I am trying my best.

I just keep feeling like it's all my fault that we broke up.

kctiger · Feb 24, 2009, 01:50 PM

It is always common to blame yourself, especially if you were the dumpee. It isn't you... this is just life. Doors close so new doors can open. The best thing to do is to learn, and make yourself a better person from this experience. We are nothing in life without the experiences we have, and share with others. That is what shapes your behavior and your attitudes. You will be fine!

MiSSsy111222 · Feb 24, 2009, 01:53 PM

Originally Posted by teastalk

Ok, I am trying my best.

keep trying. the more effort you put into yourself the better.

I just keep feeling like it's all my fault that we broke up.

I think its normal to analize the relationship, why, if, and buts are all normal. But this never gets you anywhere, trust me I know. I wish there was a switch that would make us forget the past, but unfortunately there isn't. Keep busy. The more busy you are, more time passes. More time passes the more healed you are.

kctiger · Feb 24, 2009, 01:55 PM

Originally Posted by MiSSsy111222

i think its normal to analize the relationship, why, if, and buts are all normal. but this never gets you anywhere, trust me i know. i wish there was a switch that would make us forget the past, but unfortunatly there isnt. keep busy. the more busy you are, more time passes. more time passes the more healed you are.

It is only by remembering the past that we learn to create a better future... there is a difference between remembering the past, and living in the past... if you just "forgot" the past, you would never experience anything new...

liz28 · Feb 24, 2009, 02:12 PM

You was so better off without this guy and after 4 years of being friends with benefits you needed to move on because you wanted more and he didn't.

Time to find someone that wants the same things as you and he has some good qualities and whatever you do, don't settle.

teastalk · Feb 24, 2009, 03:26 PM

Originally Posted by liz28

You was so better off without this guy and after 4 years of being friends with benefits you needed to move on because you wanted more and he didn't.

Time to find someone that wants the same things as you and he has some good qualities and whatever you do, don't settle.

Um, we were together for about a year...

I hate that I keep feeling like there was something that I could have done to save our relationship. The worst thing is that I think I'm feeling the most hurt because he's the one who instigated No Contact. I'm pretty sure if he didn't say "No Contact" I would've just talked with him once, and then we wouldn't be talking. But, the way it is now, it just feels... I don't know how to describe it...

talaniman · Feb 24, 2009, 04:46 PM

I don't know how to describe it...

Like it can be fixed, or worked out?