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crazyoverher · Aug 20, 2009, 07:50 PM

Its funny chuff...

Whenever we were really doing great... shed screw it up and break up. I once told her that its almost that she WANTS to sabatoge the relationship.

Very strange... never been with someone that LOOKS for crap when things are going well and then, deliberately makes sure that it goes bad...

Comments welcome...

chuff · Aug 20, 2009, 07:54 PM

Women want drama. When there is none, they create it. That is why it is up to you to stand up for yourself and stand down to the drama at all times during the relationship. The more you stand up for yourself and not be pushed around, the less that will happen.

crazyoverher · Aug 20, 2009, 07:59 PM

I never thought of that! Ill have to remember that for my future relationships.

The funny thing is that by standing up to the drama... do you think that this is going to make her WANT me even more! Lol. Or is she just an evil Witch... lol :)

N0help4u · Aug 20, 2009, 08:05 PM

Well are you back together or over her by now?

crazyoverher · Aug 20, 2009, 08:11 PM

We just broke up nohelp4u

N0help4u · Aug 20, 2009, 08:18 PM

If you were on again off again since before your Feb post I would say you need to stay away from her. That's crazy and you are wasting your time, breath and life playing this game she must be enjoying.

crazyoverher · Aug 20, 2009, 08:20 PM

Yes I we were on and off before my posting...

crazyoverher · Aug 21, 2009, 12:50 PM

An update everyone...

I just read her emails and listened to the voicemail...

Well, when I left her apt... it turns out that she apologized for saying that about her old boyfriend and took it back that she didn't do anything... then she said that she was going to get in her car and track me down... go looking for me...

Which she did. :O

She found me at a friends apartment and took my car's picture and told me that she knew where I was at and that I should have gone back to her place instead.

She said that I deserve "all that i get in life" and that was that...

How about them apples people? I KNOW you have comments... since then, I haven't heard from her... oh, she did say that she was "drunk" when she was arguing with me.

talaniman · Aug 21, 2009, 01:56 PM

Ever think you may be annoying to her? WHEN DOES THIS IMMATURE BEHAVIOR STOP??

crazyoverher · Aug 22, 2009, 03:05 PM

The latest:::

I checked into my Facebook account and she writes:

"i am trying to figure out where to go from here"...

How about that... SHE is the victim... sheesh.

chuff · Aug 22, 2009, 06:33 PM

So delete her from Facebook.

Who cares what she thinks.

Reread this...

Originally Posted by talaniman

WHEN DOES THIS IMMATURE BEHAVIOR STOP????

Answer is when YOU man up and make it stop.

crazyoverher · Oct 4, 2009, 11:42 AM

Hi everyone...

An update:

Well, I guess I'm a masochist because I have been taking her shi* on and off now for a month.

She goes from being the sweetest woman on earth back to her crazy self - it seems like she does this every 4th or 5th day. She is happy one minute and upset the next.

I should have walked away along time ago like everyone says but she changed. She really did. But then she went back to the way she was.

An example: we were out the whole day last sat and we were having a great time until she got upset about some nonsense issue. We wound up going back to her apt and she was screaming and yelling at me... so angry that she threw things at me! I should have left but she then said that it was because she was sooooo angry that she lost control of herself...

Anyway, we wound of having sex and all was better...

Then, she did all this again! She did go to the dr. and got some zoloft... she's a bi polar. But so far, it hasn't helped her... im in the dog house again and she is blaming everything on me.

I don't know what to do because I don't want to abandon her if she's crazy because its not really her... its her mental problems but I need to look out after my mental health too...

Yeah, I know everyone says to leave this crazy woman... have I become the co dependent in this relationship? Do I need to see a shrink because I can't leave? I don't know...

Anyway... not a sucker for abuse... well maybe I am... I listened and did what everyone said and yet I'm back at square one.

Guess it was my mistake for letting her come back to me.

Comments please...

amicon · Oct 4, 2009, 12:08 PM

How many more years do you want to spend on this emotional rollercoaster?
Your relationship s toxic and yes you come across as co-dependent .
Seeing a therapist for yourself sounds like a good idea.
Man up and step away from the drama.

crazyoverher · Oct 4, 2009, 12:18 PM

Well I don't want to spend ANY more time on any drama. I'm sick and tired of the drama.

I told her that last week and said that I don't want to argue with her anymore.

If and when she's ready to be happy, to contact me...

So far, all I've heard from her is an email asking: "how are you doing? "

crazyoverher · Oct 4, 2009, 01:02 PM

But it's a strange thing... its like I'm in Vegas and she is my slot machine... I put up with her crap HOPING that the next pull will make me a winner. And the problem is, is that she does give me some money but its just never enough and I'm left putting more quarters in hoping for the payoff! :O

chuff · Oct 11, 2009, 10:45 AM

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

but its a strange thing.....its like im in Vegas and she is my slot machine......i put up with her crap HOPING that the next pull will make me a winner. and the problem is, is that she does give me some money but its just never enough and im left putting more quarters in hoping for the payoff! :O

That is a great anogly. I know exactly what your talking about because I've done the same thing or I've rationalized abusive behavior by saying "I've put X amount of time in, I'd hate to see that have been a waste." But in reality by using those statements what we are really doing is giving permission to the abuser to continue this abuse.

Who are the real winners in Vegas though? They are people who go into the casio with a set amount of money in their pocket. If they deplete that amount they leave. If they win, they will either use that for more betting until they lose it or walk away with their winnings. But the real winners never walk out with LESS then what they set aside ahead of time.

In terms of self esteem, self respect, and pride you have less then what you walked in with. You are letting her, the casino dictate the game, where you the customer is the one who really has the power to walk away at anytime.

A relationship will require you to give of yourself but this relationship requires you to give all of yourself with no benefit coming back to you. You wouldn't go to work if your boss said you were going to work for free, but you go into the relationship giving everything and getting nothing. You wouldn't pay someone for nothing, yet you pay your girlfriend in time, energy, gifts, and allowing abuse, and you get nothing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being selfish. By that I don't mean you be abusive and not care about other people, but you do care about and put yourself first above others. If she is not holding her end of the relationship agreement then you, for you, end it and move on. You know you deserve better and you know you have more to offer then she can realize or accept but you can't start the open that door if you don't close this one.

JustLaw · Oct 11, 2009, 02:22 PM

Originally Posted by crazyoverher

well i dont want to spend ANY more time on any drama. im sick and tired of the drama.

i told her that last week and said that i dont want to argue with her anymore.

if and when shes ready to be happy, to contact me.....

so far, all ive heard from her is an email asking: "how are you doing? "

Do you realize by telling her this you have said that you will be waiting around for her. Sounds like a lot of "come here...but go away". She probably knows you well, and knows how you react to different things.

It's not when or if she's ready to be happy to contact you... it's about IF you want to contact her.

crazyoverher · Oct 12, 2009, 03:36 PM

What very thoughtful comments from everyone. Thank you for your insight. Yes, in the end, I realize that it is MY choice as to whether I want to go back or have her back in my life or not. Even if she comes around again... to me saying that she's sorry etc.

I KNOW this to be true. But after pledging her change of ways before and then sticking to them only to screw up again, is there any room for me to think that she can get back and STAY back on the "wagon" or will she eventually do this again... I mean is it that she has a "personality disorder" and no matter what happens I can't fix this and she can't fix this without thearpy?

That's my question... because, I have done kept up my "end of the bargain"... and although I do get or got sex from her... and some wonderful days... I do feel somewhat traumatized by her. In the sense that I have to walk on eggshells... be overly concerned about not upsetting her - just to get some peace and quite and good times...

More thoughts would be appreciated... also, everyone, I learned that she is having problems with her familiy and job and that this is causing her stress but why take it out on me.. u know?

Thanks guys... n gals... for your comments!!

crazyoverher · Oct 12, 2009, 05:19 PM

And also... im wondering if my "GF"... has a "personality disorder" and if so, does this condition FALL into the regular relationship mode? Does this mitigate the situation? Or am I just rationalizing all of it... regardless?

Thanks..

emopunk7 · Oct 13, 2009, 02:26 AM

OMG! You really don't have any self respect! I read every single post taking me 6 hours to read! You ignored the advise that Chuff, T-Man, Justwantfair, Romeo, Kctinger and a few others have given you. You went back and it happened again! Then again and again! Its amamzing how much patience and loyalty T-Man and chuff and romefalls and others have for you! These people are trying so hard and giving free help, their time and thoughts and you ignore it even though you may want to follow it. You keep talking about the sex with this girl. Have you ever seen porn? There are so many other girls willing to do everything who are very pretty and can be decent normal girls and not be strippers.

I am feeling bad for the people commenting here. I feel like you are telling all of us to waste our time because you are not showing us that you care about yourself. Now I get the saying, Nobody can help you if you don't help yourself.

I can relate to what you are going through a lot. You want details? You got it. The sex is great and there is something special they do that you love and you feel so connected. I KNOW! She gets mad at times for very little things and curses you out or even throws things at you and then says sorry after some time. I KNOW! You feel your life is messed up and maybe that's why you feel you want and need her almost like a drug to feel some happiness because the good times and good pictures can be so decepting. I KNOW! The way they look so pretty to you and you love holding them close and being around and all the little things like the faces they make and certain things they like. I KNOW!
I went back to my ex a while ago and guess what? She broke up with me again. She had the same attitude as yours. They manipulate all the time!!
I may be having some hard times but I listen to the people here because they really care and they know!! Believe me. You have to trust these people. Your relationship is HORRIBLE just like mine! Don't trick yourself to think it was good!!