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xaque · Feb 16, 2009, 07:26 AM

How many people here have ever had an ex contact them out of the blue? If so, how long after the split was it? What happened? The reason I ask is because I think,somewhere down the road, ill hear from mine again. It seems to be a pattern of hers. She is talking to a guy at the moment that she dated 15 years ago.

posey_84 · Feb 16, 2009, 07:50 AM

My ex contacted me after 6 years and I admit it did stir up some strange old familiar feelings but then I came to my senses and remembered there's a reason why he's an ex and cut all contact with him x

xaque · Feb 17, 2009, 02:26 PM

So you didn't talk to him at all? You just ignored him?

posey_84 · Feb 18, 2009, 07:10 AM

Yes I spoke to him when he called and even met up with him for a drink and chat as friends but when old feelings started to creep back in I cut all contact before it got messy x

Romefalls19 · Feb 18, 2009, 07:13 AM

Mine tried talking to me a few times after our break up, it wasn't unti 5 months after our break up I finally responded. I wasn't going to break NC to feed her guilt

slapshot_oi · Feb 18, 2009, 11:37 AM

Just about every ex, except the one I cheated on, contacted me again months/years later. The most recent ex wanted to get together weeks after a break-up but I ignored her, it was just too soon. I have to wait at least a year no matter how long I dated her.

With all of them, there was still attraction but no emotional attachment, it was like hitting the reset button to when we first met.

Reicheru-006 · Feb 18, 2009, 05:11 PM

You just got to remember y things didn't work out and carve them out of your life. Save your dignety

xaque · Feb 20, 2009, 10:15 AM

I definitely have to agree that there's a reason that it didn't work. I still miss her a lot though. I wish she would call or text or something, and I really don't know why because nothing would change. I haven't talked to her since feb 2, and it still hurts like hell. I guess because I had such high hopes for us. I really thought she was the one. What a dissapointment! At this point it feels like ill never love anyone that much again. I need some words of wisdom to help me get over this hump. How much more time am I going to waste crying over this woman?

kctiger · Feb 20, 2009, 10:46 AM

Originally Posted by xaque

I definately have to agree that there's a reason that it didn't work. I still miss her a lot though. I wish she would call or text or something, and I really don't know why because nothing would change. I haven't talked to her since feb 2, and it still hurts like hell. I guess because I had such high hopes for us. I really thought she was the one. What a dissapointment!! At this point it feels like ill never love anyone that much again. I need some words of wisdom to help me get over this hump. How much more time am I going to waste crying over this woman?

As long as the tears still come out, you will still cry for her... simple as that. Until time eases the pain, tears will still be there. Be patient.

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 20, 2009, 11:29 AM

I actually contacted my ex out of the blue last week, I had not seen or heard from her since we split up 3 years ago but she added a mutual fried on Facebook and I decided to see how she was doing.

As I'm in the process of a completely cleaning my life up I thought I'd apologise for my actions while we were dating and especially how I acted when we split up.

She is doing great with her work and family and it was nice to hear that. We exchanged numbers and we've exchanged a few texts where we just updated each other what's happened since we last saw each other. It was just nice to catch up and hear how someone who was very special to me at one time of my life is doing great, there was no other ulterior motive

artlady · Feb 20, 2009, 11:47 AM

Originally Posted by xaque

I definately have to agree that there's a reason that it didn't work. I still miss her a lot though. I wish she would call or text or something, and I really don't know why because nothing would change. I haven't talked to her since feb 2, and it still hurts like hell. I guess because I had such high hopes for us. I really thought she was the one. What a dissapointment!! At this point it feels like ill never love anyone that much again. I need some words of wisdom to help me get over this hump. How much more time am I going to waste crying over this woman?

That depends on your commitment to heal.
If you just sit around and dwell on what could have been and should have been ,you will take longer to heal.

If you see this as an inevitable part of life and learn from it in a positive way,you will heal faster.Your attitude means everything and hanging on to false hope is counter productive.

How to Get Over an Ex When You're Still In Love

xaque · Feb 21, 2009, 10:21 AM

Does anybody think that there is one person, or maybe a couple, for everyone, and once that supply is exausted we're just screwed?

heartbroke · Feb 21, 2009, 12:10 PM

My ex from 2-3 years ago contacted me because she was having boyfriend issues. Which eventually led to them breaking up. My recent ex broke up with me a month ago. She stopped contacting me a week ago after a stupid stunt I pulled. I wish she'd contact me... :(

kctiger · Feb 21, 2009, 04:59 PM

Originally Posted by xaque

Does anybody think that there is one person, or maybe a couple, for everyone, and once that supply is exausted we're just screwed?

No. I cannot express in words how false everything about that is...

xaque · Feb 22, 2009, 11:57 AM

I feel your pain heartbroke. I played a big part in the demise of my relationship too. I think a big part of why I'm taking it so hard is regret. A lot of times I wonder what if...

heartbroke · Feb 22, 2009, 12:12 PM

Originally Posted by xaque

I played a big part in the demise of my relationship too. I think a big part of why I'm taking it so hard is regret. A lot of times I wonder what if...

Don't blame yourself man. A relationship takes 2 people. If you did something bad, then yes you were a part of it, but she wasn't willing to work it out, so she was the other part of the demise. Playing the what if challenge only gets you running around in circles. I play the ONLY IF, like only if I had a time machine!! But realistically when we blame ourselves it can only make us stronger in the end. A mistake learned today is a lesson known for tomorrow. Never live life with regrets, it keeps you busy looking at the past and not focusing on the future. I am now confident enough, because I'm good looking and well rounded, committed, loyal honest and all of the above times ten, that my ex will surely be missing what we had and come back around because I'm the best out there for her. Just don't know when that is, only time will tell. Who knows by the time she comes around it may be too late. LOL see I swear to you as I was writing this remark, she texted me "Did you just call me?"

xaque · Feb 22, 2009, 02:49 PM

I feel the same way. I feel like I will eventually hear from mine again, but I don't know if that's me just hoping or not. She felt the need to state that she just got out of a two year long relationship on her myspace page, so apparently its on her mind.