[BreAnna17]

I was with a guy (we'll call him Andy) for 8 months. At first we were great, but then things went downhill and stayed that way for the last 4 months of our relationship. I don't know why we stayed together after all the time's we'd break up. I had a best friend (we'll call him Steven) who was my shoulder to cry on and my punching bag to vent on every time I needed it. Eventually we started having feelings for one another and one night we were talking on the phone talking about old times and he told me that last year he had the biggest crush on me. I admitted I did too, then we started regretting never telling each other this at the time. Truth be told, we still liked each other and with that being laid out on the table... we grew closer. I dumped Andy after finally getting fed up with him. I dated Steven shortly after. For some reason I still had thoughts of Andy, maybe it was because I was still attatched after 7 months who knows. Soo... I pulled a stupid move, apologized to Steven and took Andy back. Steven and I only dated for 3 days... Instantly I knew I screwed up. Steven took it a lot harder than I ever imagined. I realized I was actually crazy about him, but I had already messed up and was stuck with Andy. Things stayed this way for a while. Andy and I got along for a few weeks... then as always things soured. Steven wound up dating my friend Haley, who he didn't really like, but figured he'd give her a chance. They hardly knew each other and couldn't talk to each other without me starting a conversation. They'd be talking on the phone and 3-way me to keep the conversation flowing. They argued and fought all the while. Steven would call me and vent because he was so frustrated. She'd do the same. I was caught up in the middle of all their drama. I knew Haley really liked him so I told him to just give it a little while and hand in there, things will get better because right now, you guys don't know each other very well.One night on the phone I told Steven, "Haley isn't being herself right now, just let her warm up to you, she's a really great person once you get past the exterior." MEANWHILE I was crazy in love with him... yet I was helping out my friend because she was with him, NOT ME, and she really liked him. It killed me to tell him to stay with her, but I wasn't about to be selfish and advise him to break up with her. That night after telling him that... which was the same thing I'd been telling him for a while, he broke down and told me he couldn't just "hang in there" anymore because whether I wanted to hear him say it or not, he was in love with me and had been for a while now and that was the reason he took it so hard when I left him to go back to Andy. I didn't know what to say.
I didn't say anything for a while. When I finally could speak I said "Me too." A week or two later he broke up with Haley. A few weeks later we gave it another shot. I never knew what love was until then. We'd talk about absolutely nothing for hours and hours. That's the closest to perfection I can think of. He was my first. He was everything to me. When I'd wake up I thought about him. Every second of every day I thought of him. He'd whisper the most beautiful things in my ears. He assured me I was the one, the only one he'd ever wanted and waiting a whole year to get me was well worth it. He cheated on me with Haley one night. I forgave both of them. I let it go, because I didn't care. He cried when he told me and swore it didn't mean anything to him when they kissed. About 2 weeks later he started acting weird and one day I knew something was wrong with him and asked him, but he couldn't talk to me. (We were on the phone) He kept handing the phone to my best friend, Carter. I freaked because I had a bad feeling and I made Carter give him the phone. He refused. I cried.. which is one thing I never do. He took the phone, told me he didn't want to break my heart, started crying because I was freaking out. I told him "You're doing it right now. Why can't you tell me whats bothering you. Steven I have a feeling about what it is. Just tell me. I want you to prove me wrong! Please don't let me be right."... needless to say, come to find out he had some random feelings for Haley and we broke up. Later I found out that the main reason he went back to her, was because she was better in bed. That made me feel super cheap. I mean, I'm sorry I wasn't a Pro right off the bat. We're still friends but he can never look me in the eye. I haven't seen him smile in weeks and he always seems dead on his feet. Is it just me, or do you think he's regretting his decision to satisfy his penis?
Do you think maybe he's missing me, or am I just senile?
Maybe I'm just seeing things because I can't get him out of my head. But then again, I'm not the only one who's noticed it. He's even grown apart from his best guy friends because they can't stand being around him when he's with her, and the don't like her.

[gi-godfather]

If you want to get him out of your head than get in another relationship and don't get involved with anything regrding him