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    theguy123's Avatar
    theguy123 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 27, 2009, 12:25 AM
    Girlfriend still has pain during sex
    Im dating a girl who is a year younger than me and she was a virgin before she met me. I lose my virginity to my previous girlfriend who I dated for 4 years and have not had sexual relations with any other woman until now.

    My girlfriend now was a virgin and we had sex because she said "she is comfortable with me and knows i respect her and im not in this relationship for sex", so we had sex, like I figured it hurt her, its her 1st time that's normal. I knew it would take a few times before the pain goes away.

    But we've had sex around 10-15 times and it still hurts her, and most guys would consider this an ego boost thinking their so big, but I'm kind of concerned about this.

    Penetration is no problem, to put it in basic terms I can go in and out normally, she just says it hurts.

    I told her to see a Dr. about this just to have everything checked out.

    Any advice?
    JJCH's Avatar
    JJCH Posts: 122, Reputation: 7
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    #2

    Jan 27, 2009, 12:30 AM

    A lot of women have a sensitivity there that can cause irritation. My fiancé for example, cannot wear a tampon, it provides discomfort like what you are describing. She also has the same problem when we have sex. So, when we have sex we use KY yours and mine. (regular KY or other lube will work too).Sometimes a little extra lubrication is all that's needed to fix the irritation... it works for us. Still a visit to her OBGYN is advised.
    theguy123's Avatar
    theguy123 Posts: 12, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Jan 27, 2009, 12:39 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by JJCH View Post
    Alot of women have a sensitivity there that can cause irritation. My fiance for example, cannot wear a tampon, it provides discomfort like what you are describing. She also has the same problem when we have sex. So, when we have sex we use KY yours and mine. (regular KY or other lube will work too).Sometimes a little extra lubrication is all thats needed to fix the irritation... it works for us. Still a visit to her OBGYN is advised.
    She can wear tampons, I've asked her about that and she said that she has no pain wearing tampons.

    I even asked her if she is truly ready to have sex and is actually comfortable, and she told me that she is honestly ready and is happy I'm the guy she lost her virginity to and is being serious about the pain.

    She said there has been about 3 times when we had sex and it didn't hurt and she thoroughly enjoyed it, but the rest of the times it hurt her, she thinks I may be hitting the wall? I know nothing about the anatomy of the vagina so I did not know there was a wall.

    I'm 6'0 and she is 5'2
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #4

    Jan 27, 2009, 06:00 AM
    Physical height means absolutely nothing here for either of you. I frequently hit the uterus on some of the taller women I have dated which is painful for them, and did not have that problem with others including some of the shorter women I have dated.

    There is the cleanliness thing... there is a possible sensitiveity to spermacides that might be on your condoms or even a latex sensitivity in rare cases. It might be as simple as she just isn't properly primed (sufficiently arroused) and with that little experience she isn't going to know herself.

    EDIT... I meant to say Cervix... not Uterus.
    JJCH's Avatar
    JJCH Posts: 122, Reputation: 7
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    #5

    Jan 27, 2009, 08:34 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by smoothy View Post
    Physical height means absolutely nothing here for either of you. I frequently hit the uterus on some of the taller women I have dated which is painful for them, and did not have that problem with others including some of the shorter women I have dated.

    There is the cleanliness thing...there is a possible sensitiveity to spermacides that might be on your condoms or even a latex sensitivity in rare cases. It might be as simple as she just isn't properly primed (sufficiently arroused) and with that little experience she isn't going to know herself.
    Exactly, that's where a lube of some sort can be invaluable... I'd say have her go to her OBGYN, but try some lube in he mean time.
    hollylovesbrandon's Avatar
    hollylovesbrandon Posts: 633, Reputation: 78
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    #6

    Jan 27, 2009, 09:29 AM

    When I have sex with my husband it still hurts at the beginning. And we've been married for 2 years. Even if we just had sex yesterday it would hurt when he entered me the next day. I just suppose that I have a very tight vagina. Also, he has a wide penis. So of course it's going to hurt. Does she say it hurts the whole time during it or just at the beginning? Is she feeling any joy at all? It could be just the simple mechanics of the vagina/penis. My husband is over a foot taller than me and it is awkward for us to have sex, but that doesn't affect the way the penis goes into the vagina. There are just certain positions that are out of the question for us to do. Make sure you do different positions and if you find one that doesn't hurt her, stick with it. At least until she is feeling joy when you have sex then try other positions to see if the discomfort has went away.
    simoneaugie's Avatar
    simoneaugie Posts: 2,490, Reputation: 438
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    #7

    Jan 27, 2009, 11:39 PM

    When you said that she referred to hitting a wall I think cervix. The cervix is both the end of the vagina and the beginning of the uterus. This "thing" hangs down into the vagina about an inch. Many women feel pain when the cervix is bumped in certain ways. A long penis can really bang on it.

    Arousal is extremely important because when a woman is aroused, the uterus pulls upward, moving the cervix away from the vaginal opening. A cervix can basically be situated to one side or the other. Sliding the penis under, over or beside it can help avoid hitting it like a punching bag.

    Going in deep, as far as you can is usually not necessary for her to feel pleasure. If you want her to enjoy sex, she must know what makes her orgasm so she can explain it to you.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #8

    Jan 28, 2009, 11:42 AM

    Frankly, a woman's vagina and vulva are designed to take a lot of physical activity without feeling pain... in fact, a woman's genitals give her lots of pleasure.

    If it is all not just in her head, or you are an abusive stroker, then she must see an obgyne.

    There are always occasional twinges... or just around a period, there is sensitivity, or an off-line stroke into the cervix or whatever, but... hurts? no. Gentle stroking feels very good. :)

    Good Luck,
    KellyAlexander's Avatar
    KellyAlexander Posts: 37, Reputation: 3
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    #9

    Jan 30, 2009, 08:54 AM

    Only 10 to 15 times? Hell it is still going to hurt for awhile,. quit rushing her! Plus if you aren't turning her on then she will not... how do I put this nicely... ummm... she will not make her own lubrication and if she is dry then sex will be very painful!!

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