[Fizzy Burst]

OK, so how does everyone get over their shyness? I'm 26 and first meetings with someone are hell for me. I get so nervous it's like the cat has my tongue. It'll last the whole time too, I just freeze up. Usually about the 3rd meeting things will ease up, but seriously now that is too long. Does anyone have ways that they deal with their shyness or can offer suggestions of how to overcome it so it doesn't interfere when meeting a woman for the first time?

[jmw0713]

I deal with shyness myself. I find that in order to get over it, I need to face it head on. Get the unfounded fears that fly through your head when you walk up to a girl out of your head. Most girls are receptive to guys that come up and talk with them. Some just are having a bad day and don't want tot talk to anybody. The bad things you think they may say about you, will not be said. You just have to go up there, introduce yourself and talk.

Don't put too much pressure on yourself. If the situation presents itself, take it. The more you pressure and force yourself, the more the shyness/anxiety will take over. However, on the flip side, you will never get over your shyness if you never talk to girls.


Ask her very opened ended questions about things you share in common at that moment (bar, band, drink, etc.. ) and continue on. Listen to her answers and form more conversation topics from there.

It should all flow very smoothly. Try to work in some humor if possible.

Remember, they are scared, nervous, and shy too.

[ImTotallyLost]

I think most of the people are shy out of fear of putting themselves out, fear of being judged by someone they don't know... At least, I think this is my case.

I am still very shy when meeting new people but I learned how to deal with it by always asking myself "what's the worse that can happen?". Think about this for a second. Well, the worst that can happen is... nothing! It's one of those situations where you have nothing to lose.

Don't know if that helps.

[roxypox]

In a lot of cases first meetings and even second, third can be scary... I'm the sort of person who gets nervous as well. (lol prob why I like casual hangouts instead of dates)

But taking about the here and now is a good start, if the conversation is a little rickety in the beginning then you could always have a few topics on hand... or questions...

As for reasons for being nervous. Well, personally I'm scared of saying the wrong things, or for stumbling over my words etc . And about being judged, but usually what I calm myself down with is; what do I have to loose (like ImTotallyLost said) and its never as bad as I think, and before hand I try to remind myself of my better qualities and not put myself down... to think about happy stuff helps as well...

LOL the third time I was going to see this guy I'm seeing right now I was so nervous I thought I was going to throw up. :P (it worked out just fine though, even now after seeing him a couple of more times I still get really nervous when I see him or talk to him on the phone and stuff, lol anxiety issues)

Do when it comes to shyness I guess you could figure out a way to either distract yourself from it, or a way to make it disappear a little/lessen.

I use humor as a way to make my anxiety lessen for example

Hope this helps a little at least ;)