[Queensie101]

Hi I am in deep need of some answers. My fiancé and I are getting married in 3 months. I still talk to my ex love about once a week. I am sure of why I still do talk to him and its because I am not sure of my fiancé and I. My ex has always been on my mind and the only reason we broke up was because I was immature and wanted to be single. But he stuck around as a friend and always reassured me he would always wait for me and still does to this day. I know my ex truly loves me. My fiancé I have to question if he actually does love me. My fiancé and him are very similar but different. I watch all these movies where they regret their lives because of a wrong choice. My heart hurts so much right now and I do not know what to do. Some days I just want to run back into his arms, where I "think" I belong but my worst fear is regret... it gets me depressed. Obviously there are so many details about each of them that I have to leave out or this would be a novel. If I could get some advice about what to do I would be forever grateful. Thank-you

[Romefalls19]

You should call off the wedding or at least talk to your fiancé, see what he wants to do with the situation. Personally I would drop you for faking a romance like this. You should have either cut off contact with the ex a long time ago or waited until you healed to decide to get into a new relationship.

You have some soul searching to do, I for one would not stand for this in my relationship, let a lone an engagement!

[starbuck8]

Ohhh, cancel that wedding my dear! At least for now. You are not being honest with yourself or to him. Don't EVER marry someone when you still have deep feelings like that for someone else. That is not fair to your fiancée! This is HIS life too! Give back the ring, take time to get you feelings in check without either guy in the picture. Work on yourself first so you don't end up dragging another person in on your uncertainties! DO NOT marry this man at this point in time. It can only cause hurt feelings all the way around!

[rhiannahunt]

Why do you question if your fiancé loves you? All I know is if your heart hurts, you should give yourself more time to think. Im getting married in two days, A ex and I still talk, he loves me and I know it, but I just know my fiancé and I are so much more compatible, and I love him with all my heart. Yes, there are still lingering small feelings for my ex, but I don't love him. How did you feel when your fiancé proposed? YOU should KNOW deep down what's right.

Think of your future...
I don't know what else to say. If your having a strong feeling of to put the wedding off, you might consider it. Trust your insticts.
Good luck!

[starbuck8]

There is no excuse for entering into a marriage with dishonesty and such a lack of communication. The feelings that you have for your ex have not been resolved. If you aren't honest about these feelings with you current fiancée, you are only asking for trouble in your marriage.

What do you think will happen the first time you have a major blow up over something once you are married? Who do you think you are going to run to? I can tell you who!

Your fiancée is going into this "wedding" without knowing pertinent info! You are going into to it with "eyes wide shut!" Either lay your cards on the table and see if you can work through this together, or walk away and cut this guy a break! Marriages are way too disposable these days!

Once again, give the ring back and walk away until you know exactly what you want. Don't hurt your fiancée by not being honest with him right out of the gate!

[chrissymarie]

Choose your current relationship and move on completely. Your ex is and ex for a reason and should stay that way. Your fiancé deserves a fair chance. He is your present. End all communications with your ex. Its for the best. He will only drag you down and keep taking you steps back. Move ahead with your new life.

[artlady]

I think the honorable thing to do is to call off the wedding.

How can you possibly consider saying *I do* for life with these kinds of feelings for someone else in the back of your mind?

You are cheating yourself and your fiancé and even the x.

Worst case scenario,lets just say...

What will happen a year down the road when you are married and things start to get rough?

Everyone goes through rough patches and the x is still in the picture so who are you going to turn to ?

Then you feel justified in cheating and cheating destroys lives.

You can stop this before it becomes such a mess that everyone ends up hurt.

Like starbuck said marriages are far too disposable these days and the institution deserves more respect as do the feelings of your fiancé.

Do the honorable thing and be honest.It may hurt in the short term but in the long run it is better to spare everyone the pain of a divorce.

[Starbucks21]

Well I personally am a hopeless romantic,

But your ex is your ex and there's a reason they call them ex's

Never go into a relationship with your ex... they have a tendency to yo-yo

Now as for your fiancé... Calling off the wedding is very drastic but not unheard of

Are you sure these doubts aren't because of the stress of the wedding (cold feet)

Above all things you should be honest with your fiancé

Quite frankly in order to give you honest advice I'd need more...

It's either cold feet and the last fling urge (a very bad urge that should never be followed) or it's you really aren't ready to get married and you have feelings for another guy (who isn't a good match)

[expat2009]

This is a disaster waiting to happen. You cannot go through with the wedding without first addressing this. You owe it to your fiancée to talk to him and tell him the truth. He will be upset and hurt whether he loves you or not but it's the right thing to do. If you don't then you will marry into a lie and it will probably not work. If the wedding is called off then afterwards, you need time for yourself away from the two guys or any others. Feelings will be hurt, but it's better than going through with it and causing even more damage to the three of you in the future. Time for yourself will help you workout what you want in life and what's next for you. It's a difficult situation you are in, but you need to lookout for yourself and the feelings of your fiancée and even the ex.

I hope it all goes well for you and everyone involved.

[ThatGuy2]

How long do you honestly believe your marriage will last if you marry into a lie? You need to talk to your fiancé NOW. Without communication, your relationship will surely crumble. Thereafter, you will fall back to your backup guy and let me tell you, none of them deserve this. Do you think you'll hurt your fiancé more now if you tell him, or after you guys are married? You know what you need to do.

[desire001]

I am in a similar situation. It's so hard! I think what you're feeling is that your ex is your soulmate, but you love your fiancé and don't want to risk losing him either.

In your case, I think you should cut both of them out of your life completely for at least two months. Find yourself. That's what I did, and now I know who I really want (although it still hasn't made my decision easy). Read my post (just posted it like 3 min. ago) and let me know what you think in my case.

Most people won't be able to give you good advice because only you can tell which guy is right for you. But it seems that if you take a break from both, you will find out who you're craving more in your life. Make a completely honest list of all of their good and bad qualities. List how you think each of them would be as fathers, as a life partner when you're both 80, as the only person you'll ever have sex with again, etc. You'll start to realize which one you can't live without. I hope it works out!

[irianis1355]

Yea you should brake off the marriqee if you still love your ex thennn... it just won't beh riqht.

[talaniman]

Cancel the wedding, and tell the fiancé the truth

Lose the ex, forever.

Stay out of relationships, until you can be honest with yourself, and your partner.