[jdh7630]

I have an 18 year old son whom is in his senior year. I have raised him alone since 1997 along with his sisters. We are at a stage in his life where he is keeping secrets from me about who his friends are, getting high. He is in counceling and on medication for depression. We were close and I new most of his friends.

Is it normal for him to not want me to know who his friends are and where they live?

[Clough]

Hi, jdh7630!

Are you able to sit down with him so that you can discuss this with him? Have you already done that? If you speak with his counselor and make the counselor aware of some of your concerns, I'm sure that the counselor would be able to look into things in the sessions.

Your son is 18 and an adult. It's normal for a person to want to have a right to some privacy concerning themselves and their friends. However, if he's still living under your roof and your supporting him in various ways, then you do have rights to know about certain things, especially if they're causing problems.

Hopefully, others will be along to address your question.

Thanks!

[N0help4u]

Yes and especially if he is getting high he will be more secretive. Since you are close and he is not being out and out rebellious you need to communicate with him as much as possible on all levels not only where you going and what you doing but also discuss his future, his potentials, his well being, etc...
Also if he asks for money and other little things notice what and how anything you do may potentially be making you an enabler. Like he wants a ride to a party or he wants money for something because he spent HIS money on drugs.
You might want to try an alanon meeting and discuss being enabler with them so you don't fall in the trap.

[Fr_Chuck]

Most teens don't tell parents anything to start with, and if they are hanging out with the wrong crowd it is like a secret world