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Boristheblade · Dec 24, 2008, 01:25 PM

Thus far, his actions have matched his words. I really want to be him with though, and he doesn't want to be with me at the time being. I'm not exactly sure his motives for wanting to date him and am scared to ask in case I push him away and thinks I'm pressuring him...

talaniman · Dec 24, 2008, 02:58 PM

He doesn't want to be with me at the time being

Then don't waste your time as its time to do something else.

Boristheblade · Dec 26, 2008, 10:51 AM

I've decided to let him go, I've had too long of ups and downs with him and am exhausted from the drama of it all, I'm going t start moving on! Wish me luck!

southerngalps · Dec 26, 2008, 04:09 PM

Happy to hear that you've made a final decision.

Best wishes :)

Boristheblade · Dec 26, 2008, 07:45 PM

I am so upset. How could I have been stupid enough to think things would ever change. Out of nowhere he just started ignoring me, so I asked why. He said, "build a bridge get over it". It dawned on me he really doesn't realise when he's being cruel and horrible so I tried to tell him he was doing it again, and that he really should get help because I know he doesn't mean it, but he just laughed at me and said that he is what he is and I need to just accept it and move on.

I am so angry, at him and at myself. At him for coming into my life when I was healing just to hurt me again, and at me for letting him back into my life. I've been sat here crying all night at all the things he's put through, and I just can not believe after everything he'd be so cruel again.

I'm so, so, so hurt. I can't sleep.

kg70 · Dec 27, 2008, 09:13 AM

Men are Men unfortunately we can't go on existing as a human race without them (not yet anyway) and while there are several the resemble pigs and mules out there keep in mind there are some good ones so don't give up completely.

He didn't sound like he was worth losing sleep over and the longer you hold on to the hurt the longer it will take for you to move on. Rally your girl friends and have some fun forgetting about him.

Boristheblade · Dec 29, 2008, 06:20 AM

It's all just so hard :(

magikman · Dec 29, 2008, 08:15 AM

I know it's hard Boris, hang in there. You deserve to be with someone who cares about you and treats you with respect. It's tough in the beginning, but later on you WILL thank yourself.

It's not just women that get stuck in this rut, it happens to men too. I recently broke up with a woman I'd been seeing for a couple months.. As was mentioned in a previous post, after many months, I'd mistaken dating for a relationship - it was a very one-sided situation. I held out for more, when it was clear to me the whole time she wanted something less serious.

It's scary to face potential loneliness, but don't settle for the "something is better than nothing" routine like I did. Good luck to you!

Boristheblade · Dec 29, 2008, 08:37 AM

You're right thank you, it's the loneliness I hate. I want someone to spend time with that gives me butterflies, someone to go to the cinema with you know things like that. I want him, but is never going to happen, and that's why I am now really moving on..

Boristheblade · Jan 1, 2009, 08:46 PM

It's been exactly 7 months since we split up, we were only together nine so WHY is it taken me so long to forget about him, for my feelings to lessen, to move on??

talaniman · Jan 1, 2009, 09:34 PM

Ever watch water boil? It takes forever. If you were proactive in your healing by doing things that makes you happy with people you enjoy, you wouldn't be asking that questions.

Time flies when your having fun, so get busy.

bmc_imr4308 · Jan 1, 2009, 09:54 PM

I know what your going through. I have had this problem before. This is coming from a guy and this is probably what is going through his head. You say the two of you wanted to go back out right, well the way it sounds is that he thought of it as a way to get easy sex, if that is the case. What you should do is this, tell him that you know what he is playing at and that you don't like it and that you want to break up again, if he still has feelings for you like he claims then he will realize his mistake and either agree to end the relationship or change his ways. That's the way it was for me and I hope this advice has helped you.

Boristheblade · Jan 3, 2009, 04:55 PM

Tal, that is the sad thing. I do EVERYTHING to distract myself, I am always busy, I do everything that I want to do, live life to the full, laugh and enjoy myself... but I still think about him allll the time and inside I'm not really happy, I still feel empty and cold.

marcel_ke · Jan 4, 2009, 12:31 AM

Women come from venus men come from mars . LOVE IS A 2 WAY HIGHWAY!

compsavvyimnot · Jan 4, 2009, 01:06 AM

If you're not in a exclusive relationship, that means you're both free to see other people, correct? So how do you expect him to do that if he has to act like he's unavailable? Friends with benefits can be great, just make sure you and him understand what that means. If you can handle it, just have fun, as you first intended. If you can't handle it, let him go and find yourself someone exclusive.:D

Boristheblade · Jan 4, 2009, 08:42 AM

I don't think you've followed the thread. We don't talk anymore-at all.

compsavvyimnot · Jan 4, 2009, 11:20 PM

Sorry for your pain, please know that you probably deserve better, one day your wound will be healed. And you will find that one that will make your heart soar again.

Boristheblade · Jan 5, 2009, 02:21 AM

I hope so, I just can't see the light in the tunnel right now

starbuck8 · Jan 5, 2009, 04:00 AM

Boris, I sorry you're still hurting, but unfortunately there isn't a magic pill. Time is the best healer in the death of a relationship. You have to let yourself go through the stages, just like you would with the death of a loved one. It hasn't been very long since you've broken it off, and you can't expect for the feelings to be gone overnight.

You said you keep yourself busy, and are still doing the things you enjoy. You might want to consider volunteering some of your time to something you enjoy where you could help others. It gives you a good feeling when you do something good for someone else, and you can see the look of appreciation on their faces.

Maybe you could help troubled kids at a youth center, help out at the local animal shelter, visit nursing homes where you could give company to a lonely person who has no one that visits. Just anything like that could give you other things to think about to keep your mind from focusing on your ex.

Also, surround yourself with friends and family. Maybe pick one night a week where you and your buddies can just hang out and let loose. You never know, one of them might have a friend that catches your eye. I'm not saying to jump into another relationship, but just keep an open mind.

The hurt will lessen, you just need to give it time.

Good luck! :)