[BobbyVandeyar]

I have been recently talking to this girl for about 3 n a half weeks now. And I must say it has been great. Ive gotten to know a lot about her, as well as how she has gotten to know about me. We spend night talking on the fone until 3 in the morning. Even when at times it would be silent. It feels so peaceful. Im starting to like this girl, and although she has gave me compliments saying I'm a sweetie and everything lol I still wonder if she feels the same way. The certain things that I see when we are in class together like her starting at me at times, or playfully poking me or touching me. Leaning her hand on my leg while she's talking to someone for the work. I ono just little stuff, she even gave me ride home last week. I bought her food and stuff like that.

Unfournately yesterday she found out that one of her best friends died in a car accident. I talked to her online without mentioning it to see if she was all right. And she said that she has been better. I asked if she wanted to talk about it and just from the conversation. I could tell she was still stunned. I just told her that he is in a better place looking down on you with love. I felt like there was so much more I can do but just don't know what. I told her that if anything ill see her in class tomorrow and that if you need someone to talk to or can't sleep I'm here. Today comes and I kind of figured this but she called me to tell me that she wasn't coming to class, but asked me to take down ne work that she missed and as well as stuff to review for our final exam. Which I did.

I like this girl. And although I don't know anything about this guy. I feel sad for her loss. Its like I don't know what to do. Please help.

[kctiger]

Just tell her that you are there for her and leave it at that. Don't push anything. This is going to be hard for her to deal with, and you liking her has to be put on the back burner now. What a horrific accident and what horrific timing (holidays). Just do what you can when she wants you to, but don't call too often or push too hard.

[Eileen1218]

The only thing you can do is offer your kindness as you already have. It will take time for her. Just offer ( as you did) and do the things she asks and be there for her. Actually all you can do is just wait and be patient. Hope this help at least a little.

[BobbyVandeyar]

yeah I did that. I just told her that if u need someone to talk to or anything I'm here. I got the stuff that she missed from class today. I guess if anything when she messages me on aim later tonight ill let her know about the work. But other then that thanks for the advice. Ne other suggestions though please feel free to comment. Could really use the support =]

[kctiger]

She needs the support... I doubt you do :) I cannot stress enough, that right now you liking her and having feelings for her should NOT enter the equation right now. She needs a support system, a friend, a shoulder to cry on, and if she choses you, then that is fine, but don't over analyze anything or read too much into it. Also, don't take advantage of her emotional situation, as I know you wouldn't.

[ZoeMarie]

You did what you needed to do, you told her you'd be there for you and she'll remember that. It's important not to push anything though, like others have said. Wait a while before you let her know that you like her

[BobbyVandeyar]

thanks. I will definitely update n let u guys know in the days to come. =]

[BobbyVandeyar]

So here is an update:

Tuesday night she im'ed me on aim and we talked for a bit. She wasn't talking as much online. And she told me she was sorry for not talking a lot because it is hard for her to move from this. And I said she didn't have to apologize. Later on in the night I called to check and see how she was doing. And she was happy. Said she was waiting for someone to call lol so we talked for a while and everything and she started to get tired. And I asked her if she wanted to go and sleep and she said talk to me a little bit more. And after I talked, she slowly fell asleep on da fone. I wasn't mad I was happy. The next night she called me and said that she was sorry for falling asleep and I told her she didn't need to apologize its all right lol and we kept talking a little bit and she said she was going to try and get sum sleep for our final exam tomorrow. When that day came I bought her a xmas card. And after we finished taking our final I walked her to her car, and gave her a hug. And I gave her the card. She told me to give her a call whenever you want to hang out or anything. She went out with her cousins but told me to call her anyway and see and I said iight sure. I called and she didn't pick up but I assume she was with her fam anyway.

I really like this girl. And maybe sometime later ill ask her. But for now I just want to show that I care. Make her happy because she is still not over her friends loss. I am happy that she is hanging out with her family and getting time away from thinking so much and stuff. Like I just want her to know that I care about her. And just want her to be happy. I hate seeing people sad. Espically when the holidays are coming. So tell me am I on the right track with this?

[talaniman]

Instead of getting all emotionally invested with the thought of making her happy, why not get to know her first before you get so emotionally involved, and attached.

Take her up on the hanging out, but go slow, and pay attention, as I see you as the love sick, needy type.

Sorry, correct me if I'm wrong.

[BobbyVandeyar]

Lol I'm not in need. But from the way it sounded in my message it sounded like that. Me I'm that dude who takes his time off to help out another who's going through a lot. Espically if its someone I'm interested in having a relationship with. But your right though, taking it slow and hang with her more is good. Feel free to comment more I love to hear everyone's opinion on this

[BobbyVandeyar]

Hey I'm back here with an update. So been 3 days and we been talking and stuff. Just taking it ez. She finished her finals yesterday as well. But every night or other night, we would always be on the fone, until the early mornings. And just stuff I notice different: like her voice changes. So soft spoken and beautiful. And we wouldn't get tired of each other. If we do get tired its because we were sleepy lol but even so I ask her if she wanted to get off the fone. And she wouldn't really respond. She fell asleep on me one night. And the next night while we were talking she kept apologizing for it. And for real I told her "listen u dont have to apologize if nething im sry for keeping u up late i always tell u to go get sum rest n stuff. but i couldnt help it because i like talking to u". Lol and I said that if anything it felt peaceful hearing you sleep. Kind of wish I was right next to you. Was giggles and smiles. A joke here saying she would push me off the bed lol but otherwise. It was a nice little conversation. Both decided to get rest after and enthuastically she said we will talk tomorrow lol.

For the most part. I'm taking things one day at a time. I like this girl. But don't want to go and assume too much. Like I said in my previous posts. Any further advice for me on this? Lol

[Hamselv007]

Hello.

I can understand that you like this girl a great deal, like a teen's crush - which isent a bad thing.
All said above I believe is a good and appropriate way to handle the situation.
But I'd like to add something just the same. You like her, she's emotional right now - and should be treated with care and devotion.
But spending time with her, trying to see if the two of you could get a relationship out of it, isn't a bad thing to do.


The question goes as follow's: what to do?

Move forward, You obviously like her.
I don't think that if the girls like you and you start hanging out in a romantic fashion would have any negative impact, seeing as you strike me as a kind sensative guy who cares for her well-being.

So all in all, take it slow but do move forward.
(Dont go being pushy though, nobody likes that)

[talaniman]

Just go slowly, and see what develops, what's the hurry?

[BobbyVandeyar]

Well I gave her a call last night. Unfournately I kind of woke her up. I said I was sorry and she said what's wrong and I said nothing at all I just wanted to talk to you and stuff. And she said is everything all right? N I said yea everything is fine I'm sorry to wake you u should go and get sum rest. And she said are you sure? N I'm like positive you need your sleep. Lol she said I'm sorry and I said don't be. Then she cracked a little joke on me and joked around for a bit and then I told her ight go back to sleep. And she said she'll call me later. And both said goodnight.

I know a lot of you guys have had your late night conversations with your mate. Tell me do you think that this might indicate something here? Like a vibe?

[talaniman]

It means nothing at all. But I would back off, and give her a few days or a week.

[BobbyVandeyar]

I hear you. Ne other advice? Please feel free to comment.

[TrueFaith]

I have some advice

Stop text talk please.
Other than that

Don't over think things, and take each day slow

If you keep on over thinking things.. its going to be a mess trust me

[BobbyVandeyar]

Understood. Thanks.