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Romefalls19 · Jan 21, 2009, 05:53 PM

Wait, I am confused, are you guys together now or still in limbo?

oldenoughtoknow · Jan 21, 2009, 06:00 PM

Limbo

Romefalls19 · Jan 21, 2009, 06:03 PM

Drop her man, if you are still in limbo. What does that say about her character that she will drop guys for another?

expat2009 · Jan 21, 2009, 06:29 PM

I think you need to let this one go. She clearly has no idea what she wants and on top of that downgraded you from a boyfriend to a Plan B. You are worth more than this--and she's not seeing it. She dumps you, gets another guy, realises she loses you, dumps him for you again?? What future is there with a chick like that... This is likely to repeat itself and you don't need this sh*t again. As much as you love and care for her, you need to lookout for yourself. Sometimes the easy road is not the best one.

Heal first, and then find yourself a girl that has you as a Plan A.

Like Tal would say "don't make someone a priority when they regard you only as an option" or something along those lines..

talaniman · Jan 21, 2009, 07:47 PM

She was quite happy to cheat on a guy to be with you. Now you made her drop the other guy, or so she thinks, but the point is she did drop him, and wants to be with you.

Look she is good at shuffling guys around to fit her needs, so why be one of them?

Your crazy to think you can have a reasonable, binding conversation with a drunk, in the first place.

All signs point to leaving this situation completely.

oldenoughtoknow · Jan 21, 2009, 07:51 PM

Thanks guys. Cheers talaniman, sound advice as always.

To her it sounds as though now I can have her I don't want her. To me its I wanted you so much and couldn't have you what changed? I don't want be an option, I asked her why she left him for me and she never gave me a proper explanation, just that I shouldn't question it and be happy. Maybe at the present time I'm just a better option but then how long until a better option comes along and I get booted? When I tried to explain this she stormed off saying I don't trust her and then began texting me as soon as she got home.

talaniman · Jan 21, 2009, 09:10 PM

Disappear from her life, and I guarantee, things will look up with time, and some work on your part.

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 10, 2009, 10:28 AM

So I left her told her its completely over and she's already seeing someone else less then a week of complete no contact lol how stupid I feel now. I guess the adage once a cheat always a cheat. I don't know why, even though I finished it I feel so depressed :( This is definitely the end of the chapter just got to move on now.

kctiger · Feb 10, 2009, 10:42 AM

Originally Posted by oldenoughtoknow

So i left her told her its completely over and shes already seeing someone else less then a week of complete no contact lol how stupid i feel now. I guess the old adage once a cheat always a cheat. I dont know why, even though i finished it i feel so depressed :( This is definitely the end of the chapter just got to move on now.

Good riddance man! Be thankful she is out of your life, as now you can actually find someone deserving of you. The other guy she is with is a rebound too, so I wouln't worry about that, although it doesn't matter. Laminate a pic of her, paste it to the bottom of your toilet bowl, and do work son. That will make you feel better...

Carry on... :cool:

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 10, 2009, 03:49 PM

kctiger always telling it how it is lol cheers. Yeah good riddence to bad rubbish just doesn't feel that way yet, I'm liking the toilet idea haha

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 13, 2009, 02:39 PM

I must be a real glutton for punishment because I fell for all her words again, she left her bloke took off her rings came round mine yesterday and said we were meant to be together we spent all day together we just talked, we talked about starting a family and our feelings and building trust etc then she left for work and I got a text saying how she skipped work and set up a romantic weekend for us and booked us a valentines break.
By now I'm eating out the palm of her hand, lapping all this up I go to send a few emails and I realised it was still signed into her account. Now I had a moral dillema do the right thing trust her and sign out immediately or just have a glance. I had a glance and oh boy what did I find? The romantic break was set up weeks ago for her and her husband then I check her sent messages and it was full of flirty emails to some guy that got more and more explicit and then naked pictures of her spread eagle asking if he liked the view and how she couldn't wait to to see him, the message was sent an hour after she had 'left for work' as I confronted her she tried to convince me it was an honest mistake and the email was destined for me. Lol
I feel like such a fool, I was so angry I was shaking how could she blatantly lie to me like that? I'm more angry with myself to be honest. Now there's no question of me going no contact I deleted her from my whole life changed my email and mobile number straight away unplugged my house phone. Now its time to buck up my ideas. Why didn't I listen to you guys? I guess some will reckon I deserve it and you reap what you sow but I'm just a guy who fell in love with the wrong type of woman

Romefalls19 · Feb 13, 2009, 02:45 PM

Well, now the good thing is you are angry. I learned a saying a long time ago, when people cry about their situation which doesn't change anything but when they get angry, they bring about change.

ImTotallyLost · Feb 13, 2009, 02:45 PM

Dude. Srlsy. Wat?

I mean... you already know the mistakes you did. And you know what you are supposed to do. So just do it.

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 21, 2009, 05:48 PM

I had finished a relationship a few weeks ago and my ex took it pretty bad and threatened to kill herself (she has a history of depression).

I ignored her texts and calls, there were up to 20 a day until about a week ago when she said she would kill herself if I never replied, knowing her history I caved in and text her to seek help as I wouldn't be able to live with myself if she actually did kill herself.

I told her I would change my number if she kept up this behaviour and she did stop ringing and texting as much as she was, for the past week I've received about 1 text a day and no phone calls so I thought it was all sorting itself out and she realised it was over.

Then I found out she has made up fake Facebook and myspace accounts added all my friends so she can spy on me. I've deleted my online accounts and changed my number a few days ago.

Now my neighbour asked if I was aware that my ex had been driving past my house about 5 or 6 times a DAY, EVERYDAY this week and he had seen her doing the same thing a few days last week too (she lives a good hours drive away so it definitely isn't coincidental) . I'm getting notes through my door, saying how we are meant to be together and that we're soul mates etc, nothing threatening though.

Do I continue ignoring her and hope she gives up eventually or go to the police and report her- she hasn't threatened me or anything so I don't know what they could do.

Is there anything more I could do?

espejuelo · Feb 21, 2009, 05:59 PM

Wowww! Can you shed some light how long you guys were together and the reason for the breakup? Becos I had something similar happen to me and kept making it clear is over and I said it was OK to text 1 text a day until it finally stopped

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 21, 2009, 06:20 PM

We had an affair for about 5/6 months she left her husband (she says for me) but I had found out there were other men she was having affairs with at the same time, so I ended it.

heartbroke · Feb 21, 2009, 06:22 PM

Ever consider a restraining order?

oldenoughtoknow · Feb 21, 2009, 06:24 PM

Originally Posted by heartbroke

Ever consider a restraining order?

I don't know if, it would push her over the edge or even make her worse

Do you think she will eventually just stop?

Alty · Feb 21, 2009, 06:31 PM

The bottom line is that you aren't responsible for her or her well being. I know that you would feel guilty if she did anything, but you aren't doing yourself or her any good by responding to her texts.

She needs help, but you cannot provide that help.

Change your number, get a restraining order, don't respond to her texts, report her if she drives by your home, make it very clear that your relationship is over and there is no hope for a reconciliation.

Throw away any messages you get, delete all text messages, No contact, hopefully she'll give up and get on with her life.

I wish I could give better advice. I once had an ex very much like this one, he stalked me for over 5 years, would send flowers, notes, call and then hang up, anything to keep contact. The day before I married my husband he called, told me he'd be there when my marriage ended and I realized that he was the only one for me.

I got married, moved, had a different number and I haven't heard from him since. I got lucky, hopefully you will too.

Good luck.

UnluckyDucky · Feb 21, 2009, 07:03 PM

This situation kind of hits home with me. I had an ex also that exhibited stalker type behavior. She actually broke into my apartment one day and cleaned it, did my laundry, and baked cookies for me. Can you say psycho?

Like others have stated, not much you can do except change your number and ignore her - but also making it clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that the relationship is over.