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SlightlyBroken · Dec 2, 2008, 12:10 PM

So about 2 years ago I dated this guy. I broke up with him after a month, and he went kind of crazy. He harassed me for like 2 months until my dad called him and threatened him to make him leave me alone. So he kept sending me all these apologies after that. After a few months I accepted his apologies and we were friends. Sort of... he asked me back out a couple times but I said no each time (I almost said yes one of the times though, I had just had surgery and was taking pain meds for it, so I didn't have the best judgment). Then he dated this girl for like 6 months... maybe longer, I wasn't really paying attention you see when he started dating her he stopped replying to me text messages for a while... When they broke up he was like I am so depressed... and then he was like I'm actually still not over you either, and asked me out again. I said no. Anyway whatever, we started talking again this summer, and he was like I still have feelings for you, and I admitted that I still liked him. But he had a girlfriend so we both knew nothing would happen from it. I said "that's not fair to your gf." and he said "well I can't help that I still care about you. it's not like i am going to cheat on her." or something like that. A couple days after that conversation he told me they had broken up and he was sad, that he just wanted someone to mess around with to make him feel something again, and that I was the only person he trusted enough to ask. Yes I realize he was just going to use me, but I liked him a lot, so I didn't care. We didn't actually end up doing anything. He was always busy or something. Well about a month later I found out he had gotten back together with his girlfriend without telling me. I was really angry and stopped talking to him for a while, but eventually we started talking again. A couple weeks ago I was at the movies and he texted me and was like my parents are out of town do you want to come over and hang out. I said OK. Then he told me he and his girlfriend were in a down period and was like so what do you want to do, and basically it was obvious what he wanted (to make out and stuff) but he made me say it instead... cause for some reason he does that. Anyway once the movie was over I was on my way to his house when I got this text saying his girlfriend had called and wanted to work things out. So I turned around and went home. He apologized a lot and I was like its OK maybe some other time. So last Tuesday we were talking and I was like are things going better with you and her, and he said no. Then he said since they weren't getting better we should just mess around. And I am an idiot so I said OK.
Then the next day he texted me and said he had a thanksgiving party he had to go to that he hadn't known about. I got kind of pissed... I was like "listen you are messing with my head. you have a gf... you always complain about he but you still have one. I even try to ignore that fact, but you always have some excuse... I am not saying that they arent valid or that it's your fault, but I dont think you know what you want. If you want me break up with her, if you want her stop messing with my head. you are driving me crazy"
And he said "ok sorry". I told him I wanted to but I just felt so bad because he had a girlfriend, and he told me that she cheated on him (someone had told me that but I thought it was a rumor) so why couldn't he do stuff with me. And since I for some reason can't say no to him I said OK. And that we could hang on Saturday. Well I was really busy on Saturday and was going to cancel but he didn't reply to my first text so I figured there was no need to cancel if he wasn't talking to me. So later that night I was bored and was like "hey how is your weekend going" and he was like "I forgot, I am sooooo sorry" but I was busy and didn't reply automatically so he sent me this picture of himself shirtless in front of the mirror with a message saying "to make up for me forgetting. let me know if you want pics of anything else" so my best friend and I were just sitting there stunned and laughing. And she was like you should totally do it... see how far we can push it. So I texted him back asking for more pics (I have to admit I wanted them... but if she hadn't encouraged me I probably would have chickened out). So he sent me pictures... and I was like "wow" and he said "it's even better in person. you can see next time we are alone" or some crap like that. And somehow the conversation progressed and I ended up promising to give him a blow job...
I know he sounds like a jerk... all my friends despise him. And I realize he is using me to get even with his girlfriend, but I can't help myself... I can't say no...
So I feel really really bad. I don't know what to do. I know she cheated on him but that doesn't make it right for him to cheat on her does it?
Keep in mind I have only kissed a guy once... I am so inexperienced so it would be extra weird for me...
I can't say no to people, I don't know why. I like him so much and he is taking advantage of it to manipulate me. But even knowing that doesn't help me stop it. Every time I say no to him about something and feel proud of myself for drawing the line somewhere he ends up convincing me to say yes. I am such a weak person.
It doesn't help that I have been having family issues (my dad started drinking again. And I keep arguing with my parents). I just need to feel wanted. But I don't want it to be like this. I feel so so so guilty. I am such a rotten person. What do I do?

ZoeMarie · Dec 2, 2008, 12:20 PM

Stop talking to this d-bag. He doesn't respect you or his girlfriend. You don't respect yourself. There are plenty of guys out there that won't screw with your head but first you have to realize you're better than that and stop playing games with him.

SlightlyBroken · Dec 7, 2008, 12:10 PM

I know he doesn't care... that is obvious. But I still am confused.

AManWithNoName · Dec 7, 2008, 02:27 PM

Sounds like this guy is taking advantage of the fact that you can't say no to people, and sweety, that right there is douch move. Your not the person, he is, your volnerable, he realizes that, and he's taking advantage of it. There's a quote, from Clint Eastwood, that changed my life; a mans got to know his limitations. This doucher doesn't know his mothah fukin limitation. What you got to do is avoid this hole, he has a girl friend, and he's cheating on her, and he's putting you in a bad position. So avoid this , don't answere his texts, don't answere his calls, don't talk to this guy at school, and, hell, if you can, forget that he even existed.

SlightlyBroken · Dec 7, 2008, 07:57 PM

Thanks for the advice! Umm I homeschool so I don't worry about seeing him at school. And he lives like 40 minutes away. Today I got fed up with the fact that he didn't ever reply to my messages except when he was trying to convince me to mess around with him. So I told him that he had to talk to me other times, and that it was annoying that the only time he ever really talked to me for more than a few minutes at a time was when he wanted to mess around... he didn't reply. So I deleted him from my phone. I deleted all the messages I had locked on my phone from him, I deleted all the messages I had sent him, and I deleted his numbers. That way I can't cave in and talk to him.
I deserve better than having to put up with that crap.

AManWithNoName · Dec 7, 2008, 08:17 PM

That's great, and listen, if he ever tries to give you anymore shiit, tell him, to his face, that you don't want to see his asss any where near you, and tell him you will never suck his pitiful excuse of a human penis. Its his own fault that his girl friend cheats on him. Its his own damn fault that he can't be single because he doesn't want to be alone, not yours, never let any one take advantage of you, you understand, never.

SlightlyBroken · Dec 9, 2008, 12:29 PM

I did it again. I agreed to go to his house again. I am an idiot. I can't say no? What is wrong with me?

AManWithNoName · Dec 9, 2008, 12:37 PM

Originally Posted by SlightlyBroken

I did it again. I agreed to go to his house again. I am an idiot. I can't say no? What is wrong with me?

Nothing, you just need practice, good practice makes good people, say he comes up to you and asks you to mess around with him, what do you do, you say no, and surprise him, imagine the look on his face

neverme · Dec 9, 2008, 08:14 PM

How did things go?

SlightlyBroken · Dec 10, 2008, 06:34 AM

I was supposed to go over today... but he cancelled. I like to think of it as divine intervention.

AManWithNoName · Dec 10, 2008, 12:30 PM

There is no sutch thing as divine intervention, nor is there such thing as miracles, consider it, luck? maybe?

SlightlyBroken · Dec 11, 2008, 10:19 AM

I ended up going there anyway. We got carried away and ended up having sex.
I am such a terrible person. I lost my virginity to someone else's boyfriend. I hate myself.
We didn't even use a condom. I'm going to the health depaartment today but my mom is a local doctor and I am afraid she will find out.
I can't believe I was so stupid. I am so so so stupid. I hate myself.

AManWithNoName · Dec 11, 2008, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by SlightlyBroken

I ended up going there anyway. We got carried away and ended up having sex.
I am such a terrible person. I lost my virginity to someone else's boyfriend. I hate myself.
We didnt even use a condom. I'm going to the health depaartment today but my mom is a local doctor and I am afraid she will find out.
I can't believe I was so stupid. I am so so so stupid. I hate myself.

Ahah, your not a bad person, do you love him?

Don't hate yourself eighther

SlightlyBroken · Dec 12, 2008, 08:26 AM

I want to curl up into a little ball and die.

SlightlyBroken · Dec 12, 2008, 08:39 AM

Btw in case anyone is wondering I got the morning after pill just in case even though he didn't finish (cause his dad got home). Cause my best friend was like what the hell better safe than sorry. Cause I missed like a week of my birth control last month.

SlightlyBroken · Dec 12, 2008, 08:41 AM

I'm still pretty sore (which I think is normal). But I also am still seeing blood on my underwear and when I go to the bathroom (which I don't think is normal)

AManWithNoName · Dec 12, 2008, 01:26 PM

I wouldn't know about the blood on the underwear, how did he get you into bed, did you agree because you also wanted to have sex with him, or did he put you in a bad position, that way you'd sleep with him
Whatever it was, its nothing to hate yourself, over, and if your feeling worried or depressed about it, listen to some music, watch a movie, get your mind off the situation.
And also practice saying no to him, what's more important, you hurting his feelings, or him taking advantage of you.

roxy8120 · Dec 12, 2008, 01:40 PM

Its simple say NO he is a bag of s*** so y do u want to be around him

SlightlyBroken · Dec 12, 2008, 02:02 PM

I don't. I told him today I didn't want to see him again.
He didn't force me, I said yes. But it was complicated, I got caught up in the moment and couldn't think straight. I am mad though cause he knew I didn't want to have sex, that I wanted to wait, then he convinced me when we were in the middle of making out and stuff. I was just so caught up in the moment I wasn't even thinking.

AManWithNoName · Dec 12, 2008, 07:30 PM

Originally Posted by SlightlyBroken

I dont. I told him today I didnt want to see him again.
He didnt force me, I said yes. But it was complicated, I got caught up in the moment and couldnt think straight. I am mad though cause he knew I didnt want to have sex, that I wanted to wait, then he convinced me when we were in the middle of making out and stuff. I was just so caught up in the moment I wasnt even thinking.

That's OK, shiit happins, but when it does, when you do get caught up in the moment, take a deep breath, sweety, and count to ten