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    kay9191's Avatar
    kay9191 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Nov 22, 2008, 03:22 AM
    Should I have been upset that my boyfriend did that?
    My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half now. Recently he told me that some girl sends him some explicit message on his email. He then decides to show me the email but doesn't tell me who its from. Soon after that he receives another email with a series of naked photos from the same girl and tells me about it again. He crops out the face and refuses to tell me who it is once again. I try not to be upset about it and then I think if he can tell me all of that why can't he just tell me who it is. Thinking that he would delete the photos completely and not respond to the girl he decides to respond to her message and delete it from his email but download it on his phone. His excuse for keeping the photos... because he doesn't have any of me.(I know that that's probably tmi but he never asked for any either).And its not like he never sees me.Should I be upset about what he did and what does this say about him?:confused:
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #2

    Nov 22, 2008, 03:29 AM

    What does it take to leave someone who is hurting you?

    It almost sounds like you don't really have a problem with what he is doing,your playing right along with his actions.

    If this is upsetting,leave him.

    Your not married,I assume,have no kids together,don't own any real estate together,so...

    Do you want to have to second guess this person all the time,for the rest of the relationship,while he does whatever he wants to you,with other girls?

    He is showing signs of 'cheating' already,I say leave before you get hurt.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #3

    Nov 22, 2008, 06:38 AM

    Should I be upset about what he did and what does this say about him?:confused:
    A better question is, what does it say about you, that you allow this behavior, which is more than disrespectful in my view.
    jynx3943's Avatar
    jynx3943 Posts: 29, Reputation: 3
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    #4

    Nov 22, 2008, 07:34 AM
    Leave his sorry, cheating, butt. Yah, it's "good" that he's telling you about the e-mails, but what is he leaving out? And knowing that he has a girlfriend, why is she continuing to send the pics? Sorry, I know it probably hurts.:)
    stevetcg's Avatar
    stevetcg Posts: 3,693, Reputation: 353
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    #5

    Nov 22, 2008, 08:15 AM

    The question isn't 'should you be upset'. Should and shouldn't really don't matter. The only real question is "Are you upset?"

    If you are, then do something about it. If not, then why worry? But it sounds to me that you are upset about it.
    KBC's Avatar
    KBC Posts: 2,550, Reputation: 487
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    #6

    Nov 22, 2008, 08:30 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by manipal View Post
    No!!!
    Could you explain a little on why NO?
    S_G_05's Avatar
    S_G_05 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Nov 22, 2008, 09:00 AM

    I'm not experienced in this sort of thing but if he's downloading the naked pics onto his phone then obviously he want to see them 24/7 and doesn't want to tell you, if he really loved you he would not carry naked pics of sum weirdo on his phone..
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #8

    Nov 22, 2008, 09:14 AM

    If you are upset you prob should do something to better the situation for yourself! It does sound like it upsets you, and it does seem as if your playing into his hands on it. But what type of tone did he have when he showed you the picture and the emails?
    kay9191's Avatar
    kay9191 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 22, 2008, 11:36 PM

    I really thank you all for your input on this situation.honestly, me and this guy are no longer together anymore, and this actually happened over the summer.we have been broken up for about three months now and it came to mind and I haven't really talked to anybody about it and I really wanted to get others opinion about whether I handled it the right way.I don't think I did though but it doesn't really matter anymore now that its over.I have just been thinking about the stupid ish he has done and how I was kind of stupid about it because I wanted to avoid conflict so I just blew things off all the time.he claimed he loved me a lot and I was also the only serious girlfriend he ever had.I admired the fact that he was honest but going around talking to these girls and then telling me about it was not right considering I never talked to a single guy and was fully committed to him.but me acting like it was okay and not speaking up and saying how I felt about it wasn't right either.I got into a lot of trouble because of him, which is why we broke up, and even after that he never really showed that he was really truly sorry to both me and my parents.its funny because he would always tell me to say what was on my mind and speak up (my mother has always said the same thing as well) and when I finally did to tell him how I felt disrespected (this was when he continued to do stuff to me after the break up) he didn't want to hear anything I had to say and he didn't care.to sum it all up we don't talk... at all.and I don't feel bad about it.even though it is over ill still continue to post my questions about this relationship just to get some answers to those ones that were left unanswered.I take to heart everyone's advice.its just too bad I didn't find this site sooner.
    kay9191's Avatar
    kay9191 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Nov 22, 2008, 11:50 PM

    Actually this girl never knew that we went out and I found out who it was a while later.and why didn't he say he had a serious girlfriend?? Was I doing?
    kay9191's Avatar
    kay9191 Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Nov 22, 2008, 11:50 PM
    Sorry what was I doing?? Lol
    roxypox's Avatar
    roxypox Posts: 1,028, Reputation: 328
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    #12

    Nov 23, 2008, 08:38 AM

    That is very understandable, that you didn't want to see those pictures. She is totally encroughing on your space and your guy. It doesn't seem very nice though that he makes it a joke on your expense!
    xshorty_jessx's Avatar
    xshorty_jessx Posts: 62, Reputation: 3
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    #13

    Dec 9, 2008, 02:18 PM

    Your not the only one who gets upset when their boyfriend has pictures of other girls I get like that all the time I lack confidence big time and he wonders why I feel so crappy about myself but my boyfriend did have pictures of some girls I knew and I didn't like it but I plucked up the curidge to tell him how it made me feel and he admitted that he would be in the same boat if he so any pics that I had of other lads he would go mad but he knows I definitely wouldn't as I'm happy with what I've got what I'm trying to say is tell him how you feel about this, because no girl deserves to be put into a quessing game wouldn't it make you feel so much better if you found out what he's playing at use the what if question like what if I had a picture of a lad and I was telling you about it but not telling you who it were you would think I'm cheating or something and get upset just like I feel when you go on about this girl. You shouldn't feel like this at all proppa wondering who this lass is you have the right to know seen as its your boyfriend receiving these pictures it would help if he deleted them and blocked her account so he would not receive them if he loved you as much as you love him he will do anything to make you happy hunny give it a try happy to help
    kctiger's Avatar
    kctiger Posts: 3,653, Reputation: 1319
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    #14

    Dec 9, 2008, 02:21 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by xshorty_jessx View Post
    your not the only one who gets upset when their boyfriend has pictures of other girls i get like that all the time i lack confidence big time and he wonders why i feel so crappy about myself but my boyfriend did have pictures of some girls i knew and i didn't like it but i plucked up the curidge to tell him how it made me feel and he admitted that he would be in the same boat if he so any pics that i had of other lads he would go mad but he knows i definatly wouldn't as im happy with what i've got what i'm trying to say is tell him how you feel about this, because no girl deserves to be put into a quessing game wouldn't it make you feel so much better if you found out what hes playing at use the what if question like what if i had a picture of a lad and i was telling you about it but not telling you who it were u would think im cheating or something and get upset just like i feel when you go on about this girl. You shouldn't feel like this at all proppa wondering who this lass is you have the right to know seen as its your boyfriend recieving these pictures it would help if he deleted them and blocked her account so he would not recieve them if he loved you as much as you love him he will do anything to make you happy hunny give it a try happy to help
    I do believe this is the longest sentence I have ever read. :) Sound advice however! Communication is the key.

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