[fenderstrummer28]

OK so I recently started dating this girl. Actually about 5 days ago we started going out. I liked her and I still do, but I don't know, I just don't see us going anywhere, and plus when we kiss, I don't feel anything... its just like kissing some random girl. I'm thinking about breaking up with her tmrw. My problem is that she really really REALLY likes me, like she's almost in love with me. Not literally but u get the idea. But I'm just going to absolutely crush her heart if I dump her. My biggest fear is that she's going to hate me and so is everybody else because they really wanted me to go out with her. But I just can't go out with somebody if I'm not going to feel anything or if I don't like them u know?

so I need a calm and cool way to break up with her without her getting really upset or angry. Like certain kinds of wording I use... any ideas??

[kctiger]

Just be honest and tell her how you feel. Don't offer to be her friend though. It sucks, as you don't want to hurt her, but like you said, you can't force yourself to like someone. Just tell her the truth in a calm and understanding manner.

[hellothere1]

Hey, I understand.
I;m not brilliant at advice so bare with me lol.

Firstly how old are you? And she?
If your young then it's not the end of the world for either of you, though there may be ing going about.
Maybe you should just say something along the lines of "i don't want to hurt you but I'm not sure that I really want a girlfriend at the moment, I'd still like to talk to you and get to know you though' or something like that.

Sorry if that was crap haha! Good luck.

[ZoeMarie]

Yeah, talk to her and tell her how you feel. You might be worried about breaking her heart by dumping her, but I would be more worried about stringing her along when you could both be out finding what you are looking for.

[jmw0713]

Be Blunt and Honest. There will be crying, but you must do it this way to avoid stringing her along and causing a lot more pain for her.

[kp2171]

First thing... keep chat speak down because the mods here will delete threads with too much of it.

Understand now that you cannot be in any relationship due to the expectations of others. Period.

The best thing you can do is not try to make anything up... a lie is a lie is a lie.

Tell her you like her, but you don't feel like this relationship should be anything more than friends.

Expect her to be upset. Be mad. Its OK. She will get over it, even if she's mad at the moment. Be nice to her. Be patient. You've had time to think about this, shell be getting it cold, without warning.

If everybody is mad at you because you broke up with her, what does that say about them? Just because someone likes you doesn't mean you owe them your life? What? If a guy likes a girl she's obligated to have sex with him? Of course not!

So why would anyone be mad at you for being real and honest. You like her, but you don't feel a connection that needs to be present for this to be real.

I'm guessing you are young (not an adult)... don't expect everybody to be rational about this. Some will be mad and ticked. OK. Sorry.

Whenever you date another you run the risk of upsetting them or their breaking your heart. Its just the way it is.

So man up and be nice, but clear. You think you are better as friends. You never wanted to hurt her. You just don't feel like you should lead her on when you feel disconnected.

[fenderstrummer28]

I'm 17 and she's 16. And I hafta be friends with her because I have class with her and I sit with her at lunch

[kp2171]

Yeah. Well... its up to her to decide if she wants to be friends or not.

If being simple, honest, and open doesn't work for you, I don't know what to tell you. I'm not going to fabricate some lie so she's not as upset.

She likes you. She's going to be upset. Shell get over it. It might not be fun for a time. Its life.

First girl I dated seriously was the same thing for me... she liked me way, way too much and I just didn't feel it back. I told her what I told you to say. She was upset and hurt. Mad for a time. She got over it.

So... the problem I have with "i dont want a gf right now" is the second you do start to date someone, she's going to get ticked... so its just delayed, and a lie. One I've had pulled on me... she said she didn't want to date anyone at the time, dumped me, and started dating another guy just 6 weeks later. Don't think I was angry and upset?

So there's no easy way out of this unless you are willing to date her and not want to... or make the breakup her idea. But that's just needless mind games and I don't have much time or patience for that.

You need to be able to say "no thanks" and she needs to be able to hear it. Part of growing up and part of dating.

[LifeChangesMan]

Just tell her how you feel, she can not get upset with the truth. I mean I understand the heartbreak someone would experience after a 120 hour relationship, but just tell her the truth

[blfabila5]

There is no easy way to break up with anybody so the longer you wait the harder it gets.

[talaniman]

Forget trying to dress it up, and spare her feelings, you can't and its going to hurt. Just be honest, and kind, and tell her its over, and be done with it. How she reacts, and whether she will be friends is her choice, but just do it as soon as possible.