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Geckobellie · Jan 15, 2009, 12:13 PM

I saw my ex on facebook-It's them moving on to meet new interests. I am going through the same thing with all the hurt. You are not alone.
We just need to move on and see that these people are no longer worthy of our time. They lost out not us. I bleed daily myself and yet know that I am so much more than my ex has has or will ever be.. It's the fear on the unknown-Yet, they are not afraid to leave us cold and alone. You'll find true love as will I and many others...

Alty · Jan 15, 2009, 12:22 PM

Things were much easier before the internet made it so easy to spy on people and keep in contact without any actual contact.

If you keep spying on him by reading his blog, going to his myspace page, going to his Facebook page, well, you'll never get any peace. How will you react when he changes his status to "dating" on myspace? How will you react when he says that he's over you? Why are you doing this to yourself?

Delete all his accounts from your computer, no more contact of any kind, it's time to move on.

When I was young no contact was as simple as not answering the phone!

Good luck.

Fizzy Burst · Jan 15, 2009, 12:33 PM

Something to remember is that everyone has their own ways of dealing with their emotions. Some people vent, some crank up the music for a while, some go on a rebound date, and in his case he uses the blogs (just like you are using this). The blog is his way of letting out his emotions so he can move on with his life. Emotions just don't go away. Let him have his own way of dealing with things so he can move on with his life. I'm sure he's not on here trying to see what you are thinking.

kctiger · Jan 15, 2009, 12:34 PM

Confusion is merely a lack of self discipline. If you have it, you won't be confused, as you will have the control not to be in touch in any way, shape, or form, with your ex... no contact, no confusion...

loveyouall · Jan 20, 2009, 01:45 PM

I’m sitting here in my office, keeping myself as busy as possible, but just out of the blue, I have the feeling of missing my ex b/f so much, it’s so unbearable that I wanted to cry. I don’t know what trigger the thought of missing him. I tried to distract myself to something else, but it’s not working, I can’t seem to shake that thought and feeling off. It has been 3 months since our broke up and n/c. I know sometimes things and places would remind me of my ex and trigger the feeling of missing him. But right now, I don’t know what trigger that thought,, why am I like this ? Is this normal ? When am I going to get rid of that awful feeling completely ?

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 01:58 PM

How long were you two together and the details of the break up?

This is normal, heartache isn't cured in a few days or weeks. These things take time, don't worry though, you will be back and better than ever

loveyouall · Jan 20, 2009, 02:56 PM

Originally Posted by Romefalls19

How long were you two together and the details of the break up?

We were together for 7 years, it was a long distance relationship, we love each other very much, we trusted each other and have faith in each other. He wanted to end the relationship for both of our sake as we don’t see a further for us and it’s not working (although we’ve tried to resolve it). Although now that we’re apart, we still love each other, and we always will….. but it’s just hard to move on and let go of someone that I love so dearly. This painful feeling is killing me…..

Romefalls19 · Jan 20, 2009, 03:25 PM

I believe the proper gauge for the healing measure is 1 month for every year you were together. Some take longer, some take shorter

Nestorian · Jan 20, 2009, 03:32 PM

I read once, that our bodies don't really fully process stress as an in the momnet kind of thing. I was also advised by may counselers that stress takes roughly a year to leave our body.

From what I can tell, you need to give yourself some time during the day, not too long like 10-15mins, to sit and think about the break up. Listen to sad songs, and cry, it's OK I do it and Im a guy! It's a good way to releave stress, if you let it happen and don't restrain. So curl up with your pillow and cuddle it, and let it all out for 10-15 min and then get up, and do something fun, happy, or exercise. Also change the music to happy, not angery, or aggressive. Trust me that's not easy.

Let yourself feel the feelings that are caged up, but on your terms. Be strong you'll feel better.

Peace be with you.

loveyouall · Jan 20, 2009, 04:18 PM

Originally Posted by Nestorian

From what i can tell, you need to give your self some time during the day, not too long like 10-15mins, to sit and think about the break up. listen to sad songs, and cry, it's ok i do it and Im a guy! It's a good way to releave stress, if you let it happen and dont' restrain. So curl up with your pillow and cuddle it, and let it all out for 10-15 min and then get up, and do something fun, happy, or exercise. Also change the music to happy, not angery, or agressive. Trust me thats not easy.
.

I've tried that and I agree with you, it does feel better after I let it out. For some reasons, I always have that sad and lonely feeling on the weekends, even when I'm with friends doing something.

Nestorian · Jan 20, 2009, 04:48 PM

Originally Posted by loveyouall

I've tried that and I agree with you, it does feel better after I let it out. For some reasons, I always have that sad and lonely feeling on the weekends, even when I'm with friends doing something.

I was with my girlfriend for 4 years, and I did everything for that girl. I loved her so much, and I still do to this day. It's bin 3 years since she left me for some one else. For three weeks I asked her are we still together, and every time she said yes, she lied. But I gave her her space let her date another guy, and she would come home and get dressed up, just like she would for me on dates, and she would say "see you later."
But I usually didn't see her till the next day, she said she was at her sisters the night before. I doubt it.

The point is, that I still hurt 3 years after just as much as I did that day she told me she like him not me. Yet, I still love her the same as I did the day I met her. I remember every thing, about my walking in her door seeing her on the computer looking at her art work. She could draw like you wouldn't believe. These things will never go away, but you have to just keep going, never give up.

I have realised that people are always thinking life should never be sad, but that's not really true. Some times we just have to be sad and pretend like we're not. I have a saying, not sure where I got it but, " you can't have one with out the other." If you are Happy, then you must be sad at some time or another.

You may be becoming depressed, which is understandable. Keep doing what you are, until you feel like its not worth it, then go see a counseler. It may be a good idea to do any way.

Another thing to look into, do you think there are triggers to your sad lonely feelings? Try to guard yourself against them, become aware of it, and train yourself to think other wise, or simply to accept it as it is.

YouTube - everybody's free to wear sunscreen try watching this, it helps me.

I'm sorry for your pain, if you can persever through it, I promise you'll feel better again.

Peace can kindness

loopy123 · Jan 27, 2009, 10:03 PM

break those chains and set yourself free.:d

relationships · Feb 15, 2010, 06:44 PM

I think everyone is going on about it like she doesn't want things to work out. People shouldn't assume or suggest she ignores him. She might be asking for help on how to go on about been back with him in a graceful manor.
So anyway, yes I think he is interested in you and that's why he is curious about what you are up to etc. Its natural to feel like that once you've stopped contact for a few weeks. The ball is now in your court, and if you deeply still love him and would want things to be all right again, then there is ways to go on about that. Basically he has opened that window to let you choose whether to take him back or not. Off course its all up to you. If you do feel better without him and don't want him back then just ignore it.
BUT... from the way you've asked that question, it seems like you are hoping he is still interested in making it work, which I think is the case. I would suggest you (if you want him back) don't throw yourself at him and tell him how much you've missed him etc. I think its best to just talk to him in a cool manner and not to come across like you want him back, just talk to him but not for long periods. Make sure you keep him curious in different ways, suggest you are abit busy to talk right now but maybe meet up sometime soon. And when he does ask to meet up after been ignored a little bit more for up to about a week and surely he will ask. You delay it by a few days to meet up. Keep him on edge. Keep him guessing and make him wonder why you are so calm and cool. Although you might be going through all sorts of feelings ups and downs, but best way is to keep it together and when you do meet up , act calm and confident but don't be too harsh or it will backfire on you and you'll be the one doing the chasing. DO NOT suggest of getting back together, until he does and you then must make sure you don't accept it straight away and do tell him you need to think about it etc.
You get the idea... good luck..
p.s. like I said, if you don't want him back , then just ignore his calls.

:D

loveyouall · Aug 4, 2010, 08:37 PM

It has been 5 months since I broke up with my boyfriend. Although I broke up with him, but I can't stop thinking about him and still miss him very much.

I broke up with him not because I don't love him, it's because I can't be with him or marry him due to my family backgroud. I don't want to continue our relationship and having both of us living in pain. We love each other very much.

I know I've hurt him very much and have caused him lot of pain. No matter how hard I tried, I can't seem to forget him.

Yesterday was his birthday, I sent him a text message and an email to wish him a happy birthday. But I didn't get any respond from him, I guess he must hate me very much.

What can I do to forget him and not to think of him ?

Kitkat22 · Aug 4, 2010, 08:44 PM

Why is your family background preventing you from being with him?

lifeistough75 · Aug 4, 2010, 08:50 PM

Don't let the background, or other family come between you. IF there is compatibility between the two of you, and you love each other, you should see where this goes. You will have to live with him, not your background, or family.

loveyouall · Aug 4, 2010, 09:09 PM

My family is very conservative, and parent would not allow me to marry him cause he about 20 years older than me.

I really want to contact him, but I'm afraid that he doesn't want to talk to me. He probably hates me, he even deleted the birthday wish email I sent him (we have access to each other email, we still do even after we broke up). Does it means he has already moved on and doesn't want to hear from me ?

Kitkat22 · Aug 4, 2010, 09:10 PM

Originally Posted by loveyouall

My family is very conservative, and parent would not allow me to marry him cause he about 20 years older than me.

I really want to contact him, but I'm afraid that he doesn't want to talk to me. He probably hates me, he even deleted the birthday wish email I sent him (we have access to each other email, we still do even after we broke up). Does it means he has already moved on and doesn't want to hear from me ?

How old are you?

loveyouall · Aug 4, 2010, 09:14 PM

I'm 28

Kitkat22 · Aug 4, 2010, 09:24 PM

Originally Posted by loveyouall

I'm 28

If you love this man and he is good to you and he loves you, don't let your parents stand in the way. I don't mean you should disrespect them, but you are miserable.

You're 28 and he's 48... big deal. When you are old enough and you love someone older there is nothing wrong with it. You think about this; would you rather be just OK in a marriage with someone you don't love who is your age or madly in love with the 48 year old and spending your life with him

You're old enough to make your own decisions and you need to do it now. Explain to your parents about how your heart is breaking without him. Do what your heart
Tells you to do. Life is too short to worry about an age difference. Good Luck.

What are your cultural beliefs?