[powder321]

My husband and I have allowed our son to fall asleep on our sofa at night while we all watch a bit of TV and relax. Then once he is asleep we would put him in his bed. This has been going on for about a year. Normally he would sleep through the night, but latley he has been getting up and making his way over to our room. We put him our bed a few times and now it seems like that's all he want is our bed... I had tried to put my foot down, It has been a week of sleepless nights. I have been trying to get him into the routine of going up to his bed for bed time... He puts up a fight, but will quickly fall asleep, knowing I am sitting right a the bottom of his bedroom door, so he won't dare to get out. The problem is know he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees I'm not at the door anymore, So a few nights I spent the night outside of his bedroom door on the floor. He would fall back asleep so I would go back to my bed, but soon after he would wake up see I'm not there and back to mom and dad bedroom... I have tried everything, like how many times do I have to get out of my bed and walk him back. By the time I turn around to go back to my bed he is right behind me. I have no choice but to guard the door and spend my sleepless night on the hard cold floor... I am losing my patients. Should I just go back to my old ways and let him win... HELP ME SOMEONE is this ever going to end...

[starbuck8]

You do have other choices than standing guard at the door, or giving in. You have got the dog walking the leash here, and you have let him have the control. You are his parents, and you have to stand firmer than you have been, and show him who is the one that controls things.

I'm assuming he's now a toddler? The routine is good, as long as it is the same time and same strategy every single night. A small bedtime snack, a bedtime story (while in bed) and so on. You tell him he is a big boy, and he is in his big boys room, and mommy and daddy's room is the grown-ups room, and after he is in his bed, he has to stay there, and mommy and daddy are going to their room.

You can try a reward system. Make a sticker board, (or something similar) and tell him if he stays in his own 'special' bed the whole night, then he gets a big bright sticker on his board in the morning. If he doesn't stay, he doesn't get a sticker, and will be taken back to his room anyway. Then tell him if he stays in his room for two nights, and earns 2 stickers, he gets a special surprise. (You can make this whatever it is that you know he likes) Then as he starts to understand that he earns things he likes if he stays in his own bed, he will be more likely to stay. It might take a few more sleepless nights, but it's better than weeks of sleepless nights.

Whatever you do, don't give in and let him come back into your room at night. I know you're tired, but I'm sure you don't want to spend another yr being tired right? :)

Good luck, and I hope that helps you.

[homebirthmom]

I suggest watching a few episodes of "Super Nanny" to help you out. I've found it very useful in dealing with certain issues, and the bedtime/sleeping arrangement issue is one that she hits often.

[JBeaucaire]

You don't have to stand guard at his door. You also don't have to let him sleep in your bed. Those aren't the options.

Make your bedtime routine whatever is comfortable for you. Be happy, pleasant, loving, doting, soft and cushy.

When he shows up at your bed, get up, take him by the hand and lead him back bed. Do not comfort him, do not be soft and cuddly, don't even talk at all, just be a stoic mannequin leading him back to where he belongs. You have to do this completely neutrally.

Instead of losing sleep keeping guard, you just wake up long enough to silently lead him back and walk out closing the door. No positive feedback... that is a reward to him. But no negative either.

It's not cruel. It's purposeful. He needs to get NOTHING out of his visits to your room. His happy, comforting parents aren't in there, nor is his angry parents. All he finds are silent chaperones that take him back to bed and don't kiss him.

He will lose interest in this new routine you've allowed to set in.

Meanwhile, your bedtime routine needs to be focused on him. I've raised 2 kids and 2 grandkids, and at 2.5 years the evening can't end by watching TV. That's for grownups.

Your bedtime ritual needs to include all the important things you want him to do... bath, teeth brushing, 10-15 minutes of reading, sing a little, say your prayers, and kisses goodnight.

Our kids and grandkids LEAPT for joy when we said "time to take a bath" because they knew their special time was coming. They eat this up, and it's entirely for their benefit. And if you don't read and sing and pray with your own child, I promise you they will miss it.

Anyway, think about it. The evening bedtime ritual is a time for parents and kids to bond, and you can solve the night wandering, too.