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anongirl17 · Oct 29, 2008, 06:24 AM

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 or 3 months and I'm having the time of my life. It seemed that he was too, but over the last 2 weeks or so he hasn't been sending me the cute little messages he used to or giving me compliments when we're together. I asked him lots of questions about it last night and he said that he is in love with me and I have nothing to worry about, but I'm not convinced. He said he just doesn't like that we do the same thing every weekend, which is fair enough but I couldn't be happier in his company whatever we're doing. This is going to change - I've agreed that we will make a point of doing something different each weekend - but it bothers me that he needs this to keep him interested when I'm happy with how things are now.

The most worrying thing though, is that he said "I only love you a tiny bit less than I did". When I asked him what he meant by it and why he said it, he said "I don't really love you any less, I just thought that was what happens to all relationships so I thought I had to say it" :confused: Why would he say that if he didn't mean it?

He is a very confused and emotionally fragile person and he said himself that he never even knows how he feels. I would really love to know how he feels, but if he doesn't know then how can I?

I know he cares about me very much because he always listens to what I say and tries so hard to make me happy. For example, a couple of weeks ago I mentioned that it upset me that he watched porn (I didn't ask him to stop!) and he said he wouldn't do it anymore. I looked on his computer history yesterday and he had kept his promise. He's just such a wonderful and caring guy and all I want is to keep him as happy as he makes me.

Should I leave things as they are and trust that he is happy with me, or do things need pressing further? I just want to keep on enjoying myself but I need him to be completely satisfied with me!

redwee74 · Oct 29, 2008, 06:28 AM

This is just my opinion but is sounds like he is losing interest in the relationship and is preparing himself for a breakup. This may be jumping the gun but that is the vibe I get and this sounds familiar because that is what I have had gfs do before the break up. Good Luck and God Bless

anongirl17 · Oct 29, 2008, 06:31 AM

Originally Posted by redwee74

This is just my opinion but is sounds like he is losing interest in the relationship and is preparing himself for a breakup. This may be jumping the gun but that is the vibe I get and this sounds familiar because that is what I have had gfs do before the break up. Good Luck and God Bless

I said that I was thinking about breaking up with him because I thought that was what he wanted, and he wouldn't stop crying and begging me not to!

He is so confusing :confused:

redwee74 · Oct 29, 2008, 06:41 AM

Anongirl your right he is confusing, because he is confused himself. He may be afraid to get more attached or something. So you can either hang in there or let it go. I would let it go before you get hurt worse yourself. It is to early in this for him to be confused that much. Good Luck

411Help · Oct 29, 2008, 06:51 AM

It seems as if this guy had a traumatic past relationship. Give it time, you guys are barely starting.

talaniman · Oct 29, 2008, 06:57 AM

Relationships seldom stay the same and as the comfort level grows, so does the routine of life become more apparent.

That's where communications, and working together, comes in as it's a lot of work to keep up with the changes life brings, and the adjustments you have to make.

Enjoy what you have, but don't always think things are going to be a blast all the time. Reality is not that simple, as you go through ups and downs, and deal with them together.

People grow, and change all the time, the trick is to grow together. You are still strangers learning about each other so stay positive and keep the mind open.

anongirl17 · Oct 29, 2008, 07:38 AM

Originally Posted by talaniman

Relationships seldom stay the same and as the comfort level grows, so does the routine of life become more apparent.

Thats where communications, and working together, comes in as its a lot of work to keep up with the changes life brings, and the adjustments you have to make.

Enjoy what you have, but don't always think things are going to be a blast all the time. reality is not that simple, as you go thru ups and downs, and deal with them together.

People grow, and change all the time, the trick is to grow together. You are still strangers learning about each other so stay positive and keep the mind open.

Thank you so much.

Perhaps we just need to make these alterations (ie. Going out more) and things will pick up again. We make a strong team despite how my boyfriend always contradicts himself! Although confusing, there is a lot of communication in our relationship and I think that is one of the most important things. I would do anything not to lose this guy. I know I'm bound to say how amazing he is but I was with my ex for over 2 years and this is something else... I've never felt so strongly about anyone before and it scares me.