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kaykay0941 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:18 PM

Well hello everyone, my name is Kayla.
My dad scares me sometimes. Sometimes it feels like we are the perfect father/daughter relationship, and at some points I'm just afriad to speak to him for the following week. My mouth sometimes get's me in trouble with my dad. My dad he gets angry very easily and I don't know why. Just sitting here thinking about this makes me want to cry. Sometimes I tell my dad when we fight he has anger management problems because he just gets me so angry! He gets mad.. Comes up to me and says " Are you talking back to me?" In a very forceful way, and he put his hand and backhands me... Is this regular for a dad to do this?. I've thought about running away at points but Im scared to do it. Because I don't know what will happen to me while I'm alone outside of my house. I have thought about telling the police, but Im scared that he might found out that I told him about it and he might do worse to me.. Im just really afriad right now.. I don't know what to do..

zawatska · Sep 30, 2008, 06:34 PM

Aw honey I'm sorry to hear that you're father isn't treating you right, and NO it is not normal or okay that he backhands you.Is your mother around? If so, I would start by telling her... or your guidance counselor at school... they are there to listen, and to keep your secret. :-]

kaykay0941 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:38 PM

Originally Posted by zawatska

Aw honey I'm sorry to hear that you're father isn't treating you right, and NO it is not normal or okay that he backhands you.Is your mother around? If so, I would start by telling her...or your guidence counselor at school...they are there to listen, and to keep your secret. :-]

Mother.. Not in my life.. and guidance counselor, afraid to go to her.

J_9 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:40 PM

Why are you afraid to go to the guidance counselor? They keep everything you tell them private. The police would not be the way to go, the counselor would.

Hun, this is not normal nor is it okay for your father to backhand you, that is considered abuse.

kaykay0941 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:41 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

Why are you afraid to go to the guidance counselor? They keep everything you tell them private. The police would not be the way to go, the counselor would.

Hun, this is not normal nor is it okay for your father to backhand you, that is considered abuse.

Because.. I wouldn't trust anyone with this.. Im just so scared.. Im practically crying right now.. Im just afraid something bad will happen.

J_9 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:42 PM

What can happen worse than is already happening?

kaykay0941 · Sep 30, 2008, 06:43 PM

Originally Posted by J_9

What can happen worse than is already happening?

Im afraid that he will find out and do worse to me. Im even scared to go to sleep at night, I'm afraid he will come in my room and do something.

zawatska · Sep 30, 2008, 06:53 PM

Does he abuse you everyday? Is backhanding you the only thing he is doing? Be honest, we're here to listen and try to help...

Also, the guidance counselor could lose their job if you find out that their telling anyone else what is going on with you... is there a friend you can trust? Any other family member? I've heard of a guidance counselor calling child protective services on a parent, but I'm not sure how common that is...

J_9 · Sep 30, 2008, 07:05 PM

Originally Posted by zawatska

I've heard of a guidance counselor calling child protective services on a parent, but I'm not sure how common that is...

It's actually very common and in the US is required by law if the counselor believes there is abuse.

Xrayman · Sep 30, 2008, 07:09 PM

Have you discussed this issue with him when he ISN'T angry?

jrsg · Sep 30, 2008, 07:21 PM

Hey Kayla,
The first thing I would recommend is talking to other family about this. Possibly an aunt or uncle? I think they would be a good start, and they have no legal obligation to go to the police to report it. If you trust them, they could keep your secret too.

kaykay0941 · Sep 30, 2008, 07:33 PM

Originally Posted by zawatska

Does he abuse you everyday? Is backhanding you the only thing he is doing? Be honest, we're here to listen and try to help...

Also, the guidance counselor could lose their job if you find out that their telling anyone else what is going on with you... is there a friend you can trust? Any other family member? I've heard of a guidance counselor calling child protective services on a parent, but I'm not sure how common that is...

One time.. He kicked me in my thigh and I was bruised. And no. I don't really want to trust anyone. Idk if I can.

Xrayman · Sep 30, 2008, 07:45 PM

Abusers RELY on you not telling anyone. They keep you scared. You have to tell someone or you may end up horribly injured or dead and NO ONE would know to have helped you.

Find a school counsellor-that is a good first step-at least to give you some improved advice.

jrsg · Sep 30, 2008, 10:09 PM

You can also search the net,
Find an anonymous phone number to call. You could get professional advice, and stay anonymous. Like a Kids Help Phone, here in Canada. Where do you live? Country? City? Don't need too specific, but at lease a locale.

I think that, along with talking to your family would be your best bet with this.

In the mean time, keep us updated
Good luck

kaykay0941 · Oct 1, 2008, 01:59 PM

Today at lunch, I saw my guidance counselor and I was thinking about going up to her and asking her if we could have a little meeting, but I backed out, Im afraid.

zawatska · Oct 1, 2008, 02:24 PM

Good job on thinking about it... but you're not going to get anywhere just thinking about it. You should be more scared of your father, not the guidance counselor! If you can't even trust your father, who can you trust? Get over your fears and do the right thing, talk to your guidance counselor.

kaykay0941 · Oct 1, 2008, 03:38 PM

Originally Posted by zawatska

Good job on thinking about it...but you're not going to get anywhere just thinking about it. You should be more scared of your father, not the guidance counselor! If you can't even trust your father, who can you trust? Get over your fears and do the right thing, talk to your guidance counselor.

If I did, How would I start?

Xrayman · Oct 1, 2008, 04:13 PM

You would start by saying, "I am concerned about how my father behaves towards me and HIS ANGER.."

The counsellor should ask you to explain from when this problem started from, then all the events leading up to the present-do not leave ANYTHING out.

This is all dependent on IF you feel that the counsellor is totally understanding you. If you do not feel secure, you need to find Another teacher perhaps.

I had an art teacher as an unofficial mentor/adviser when I was about 14/15, I helped to stack the Kiln after school, just small talk can work wonders if the listener is advising you occasionally.

Cheers.

barbiechick123 · Oct 1, 2008, 06:34 PM

I agree with all of the above, sweetie, look, your father clearly has issues he needs to work out and he is taking it out on you... You need to talk to someone before something worse elevates, even if you didn't tell anyone it could get worse. Just tell your counselor if you can talk about a serious issue going on in your life, talk to her/him like their your friends, Good luck.

kaykay0941 · Oct 1, 2008, 06:47 PM

Originally Posted by Xrayman

You would start by saying, "I am concerned about how my father behaves towards me and HIS ANGER.."

The counsellor should ask you to explain from when this problem started from, then all the events leading up to the present-do not leave ANYTHING out.

this is all dependent on IF you feel that the counsellor is totally understanding you. If you do not feel secure, you need to find Another teacher perhaps.

I had an art teacher as an unofficial mentor/adviser when I was about 14/15, I helped to stack the Kiln after school, just small talk can work wonders if the listener is advising you occasionally.

cheers.

I really really want to.. But Im just afraid.. And don't know how to really approach it, Im a shy kind of girl.