[stayathomedad11]

My wife has neglected our daughter by working or staying in her room watching soap operas. I told her that it is more important for me to spend quality time with our daughter than to be in this room satisfying her her demanding sex crave. She found a co-worker, and is having an affair. I found out, and now she only comes home to get clothes and leaves. Our daughter is just 9 yrs old. She is begging me not to take the home during the divorce, using sex to suggest that I can have custody of our daughter.
Can I force my wife into mental health counseling? How?
I am forced to quit my job because I don't have the family support here to help me raise our daughter unless I move out-of-state.:confused:

[erin7799]

Is there any way that the 2 of you could work this out through counseling? It is a marriage and there is a child involved so it would be terrific if the 2 of you could save your marriage. If it's too far gone, though then you need to get an attorney. Now... in my situation which was similar to yours, here is what I was told. Some people may tell me I'm wrong, because laws vary from state to state. BUT... the difference in my situation is that the Dad claims that he wants everything to do w/ our child yet never speaks to him, sees him or supports him in any way. But when I talk to him or someone else talks to him he talks about our son like he saw him yesterday. It's been years. Anyway, at this point in time the 2 of you ARE still married, correct? And if that is the case then you BOTH have custody of your daughter. You are free to take her as is your wife. If you need to move out of state to have your support system, then you do so and you file for custody there. So you're saying that she wants to keep the house and give up your daughter? Then there isn't much of a fight. I can only hope that she straightens up and changes her mind on that one. At least visitation or something. Often times a court will assign a mediator to the both of you and will try to come up w/a solution as far as custody/visitation before it goes to court. They try to get it settled before you have to take that step. Now, if you do decide to take your daughter out of state, as soon as you get there you need to get yourself an attorney and get the custody ball rolling. She will then have to go through whatever state it is that you're living in and will have to come to you for all of the hearings, etc. It's very possible, though from what you're saying that she may not show up or even care enough to fight it as long as she has a roof over her head. But if you do nothing and she decides to start a custody battle w/ you from where she lives then you have to go back and forth to wherever she lives. I hope this helps in some way. Good Luck to you! And remember your daughter in all of this. You 2 are adults and will move on from this. She on the other hand is going to be the real victim here. So put any ill feelings towards your wife aside and help your daughter heal. She doesn't need to hear anything bad about her mom, she should be allowed to still love her even though she may not be around and she should also be allowed to talk about her. And you join in. Laugh about the good times and just be there for her. If she asks just let her know that there were some things going on in her moms life that she needed to take care of on her own and that she loves her daughter very much and you hope that she'll soon get things straightened out so she can come around again. She is only 9. Some people make the mistake of bad mouthing and no matter what, it's her mom. And she'll learn the truth soon enough. I didn't have to say a word. And my son is finding out slowly but surely what the real truth is. I really hope this works out for you! :)