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    danika24_30's Avatar
    danika24_30 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 29, 2008, 09:55 PM
    Dating while separated.
    Does anyone know the laws about how long you have to be separated before you are free to date other people or even if you can date other people when you're separated? Do you have to be legally separated to be labeled separated?
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #2

    Aug 29, 2008, 10:53 PM
    Your free to date whenever your ready. You can even date your exes.
    cjonline's Avatar
    cjonline Posts: 217, Reputation: 19
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    #3

    Sep 2, 2008, 10:34 AM
    Be careful. Some states like VA say you can't so long as you are married. It may be a point that a Judge will listen to if your ex brings it up -- more likely it will only make a difference if you "date" loads of people while you are still married and it effects the kids.

    I used it against my ex in court. The judge didn't think the children should be exposed to that life. Our judge ordered no overnight visitation while he lived with his girlfriend.

    I think it depends on the Judge, your ex and if kids are involved. It may be easer to wait until you are divorced.
    danika24_30's Avatar
    danika24_30 Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Sep 2, 2008, 10:41 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by cjonline
    Be careful. Some states like VA say you can't so long as you are married. It may be a point that a Judge will listen to if your ex brings it up -- more likely it will only make a difference if you "date" loads of people while you are still married and it effects the kids.

    I used it against my ex in court. The judge didn't think the children should be exposed to that life. Our judge ordered no overnight visitation while he lived with his girlfriend.

    I think it depends on the Judge, your ex and if kids are involved. It may be easer to wait until you are divorced.
    He's been dating other woman even before I mentioned divorce (yes, he's scum) and he has this new girlfriend since we separated back at the beginning of May of this year. I wouldn't say that I'm ready to date yet, but I just want to know my abilities while in this position.
    cjonline's Avatar
    cjonline Posts: 217, Reputation: 19
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    #5

    Sep 2, 2008, 11:55 AM
    In that case I think it's a personal thing. Only you will know when you are ready. If you are going to claim "he was unfaithful" then you don't want to date. You also don't want to have boyfriends around the children; at least not at first and not until you are ready to say "I do" again. But like I said I think its personal and no one here can say your ready or not only you can do that.
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
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    #6

    Sep 2, 2008, 12:13 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by cjonline
    In that case I think its a personal thing. Only you will know when you are ready. If you are going to claim "he was unfaithful" then you don't want to date. You also don't want to have boyfriends around the children; at least not at first and not until you are ready to say "I do" again. But like I said I think its personal and no one here can say your ready or not only you can do that.

    Not totally agreeing with that stance because it's not healthy to immediately introduce a new person to your kids as "mommys new husband" I think after a few months(4-5) of dating the person, you introduce the kids to your new "friend" simply as that. Mommy's new friend. Allow the kids to become comfortable around them and also to see how he reacts around the kids. After doing so with some time, then introduce him as mommy's boyfriend. Then see how the relationships grow on the kids and your new s/o as well
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #7

    Sep 2, 2008, 03:07 PM
    The longer you are separated, the less effect it will have on any child custody issue, short of that, it has little effect.
    Now you are suppose to wait till the term "divorced" is done, but in today's society that is seldom done, Many a few months and they start.

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