[duari91]

Okay so me and my girlfriend have been dating for over a year now, and things have been good until now. First let me lay down the basics when we first met and all that. We both met online and set up a date and saw each other, and we both really liked each other. There was one thing she didn't like, she didn't like I had friends that were girls, so she didn't want me to hang out with them, but she wanted to hang out with her guy friends. So we made a deal and we both agreed not to hang out with them. So recently, she moved down where I live so we could be with each other. She lives in a dorm at a collage like 15-20 minutes away from me. About 3-4 days ago she just got here to move into her dorm, and she told me that she couldn't talk much while orientation was going on. So I understood, orientation is prety important, but something's have started to happen. I told her she could hang out with guy friends and she agreed to let me hang out with my friends. It sounded good to me, but the day after she came here she was telling me how much she loves me and how bad she wants to be with me etc. Which is the usual for us. A day after that something suddenly changed, she was saying she doesn't know if she wants to be in a relationship because she wants to get closer to god(she goes to a christian collage). So after a while of talking she agreed to be with me but she says she is going to put a lot of time into making friends here. I said that it was fine, but she needs to treat me like a boyfriend, and not put EVERYTHING in front of me and make an actual effort to see me. She agreed, but now today she is saying she needs space, she needs to think about things, etc. I don't know what I have done wrong, I mean just 2 days ago everything was normal, and now all this has happened. What should I do? I want to be with her, and I don't think that she would break up with me because I said if your going to leave then leave don't torcher me, and every time I say that she kind of goes around it avoiding a break up. So I think she wants to be with me, but I don't know what is going on, I asked if she found someone else, and she told me she doesn't do that kind of things. Oh and I almost forgot, a week ago she asked if I wanted to go with church with her, I said yes because we are both religious, but now she said she wants to be alone when she goes because she needs time with god. So I don't know if that has something to do with it or not, but again what should I do? How would I fix things? If I were to say I wanted to think about things a week ago she would have gone crazy mad at me saying I don't love her blah blah. So I don't know what to do.

[BlakeCory]

She has made quite a few changes in a short time. Give her some time to adjust to what is going on. Let her know how much you respect her by giving her the space she needs. Trying to get close at a time like this will push her away.

Communicate your feelings when you have the chance but be careful to avoid sounding desperate or jealous. This is a good chance to show her what type of guy you are. You could make her a short card that says you were thinking of her or maybe a flower.

Just remember to respect her space.

[duari91]

She has made quite a few changes in a short time. Give her some time to adjust to what is going on. Let her know how much you respect her by giving her the space she needs. Trying to get close at a time like this will push her away.

Communicate your feelings when you have the chance but be careful to avoid sounding desperate or jealous. This is a good chance to show her what type of guy you are. You could make her a short card that says you were thinking of her or maybe a flower.

Just remember to respect her space.

I have followed exactly that, I have let her know that I still love her, and that I want to work on things with her. I wrote her a letter telling her how I feel and I am going to give it to her when I see he sometime this week. Thank you for your imput, I appreciate it, and I will take into consideration what you have said.

Thank you

[BlakeCory]

I have followed exactly that, i have let her know that i still love her, and that i want to work on things with her. I wrote her a letter telling her how i feel and i am going to give it to her when i see he sometime this week. Thank you for your imput, i appreciate it, and i will take into consideration what you have said.

Thank you

Good Job, just stay sweet.
It's normal for people to withdraw when they feel overwhelmed. (so don't get freaked out, OK?) Keep your relationship light and simple. (cause your in love!) What does she think of when she thinks of you? Work on making your experiences together happy and avoid any drama.

Oh, and remember to smile when you're around her, a lot.

[duari91]

Good Job, just stay sweet.
It's normal for people to withdraw when they feel overwhelmed. (so don't get freaked out, ok?) Keep your relationship light and simple. (cause your in love!) What does she think of when she thinks of you? Work on making your experiences together happy and avoid any drama.

Oh, and remember to smile when you're around her, alot.

All right ill do all of that, it just hit me kind of hard, I wasn't expecting her to be like this at all. She says she still feels the same about me, ill just give it time I guess.

[duari91]

I also forgot to mention that for orientation she goes to like parties and stuff? I thought it was to get familiar with the campus and stuff. She started orientation 4 days ago and yesterday she went to some party, and today she is currently at a beach party. Every time I ask to do something she says I cant, I have orientation.

[sweety]

Talk to her and tell her how much it is hurting you for the way she keeps changing her mind about you and the way she has been acting,see what she says and give the girl a chance,a lot has been going on for her,e.g.moving,adjusting to a new place,college,trying to settle and make friends.its all a lot. Give her a chance.

[duari91]

Tried that and she didn't shrug it off but she didn't really acknowladge it. Its killing me though, I talked to her on the phone earlier and I didn't plan it but I just lost it. I started crying and I don't think I have cried since I was a kid. I told her how I felt on the phone and all that, and she said she isn't going to leave me. So that's good, but now people are probably going to think I am a cry baby lol.

[talaniman]

So what makes you think this is a relationship? Sorry guy but I don't see it!


Never make a person a priority in your life, while allowing them to make you a option in theirs.