[hate_and_love]

Ok here is the story I have on older sister and one older brother. I have one mom and one dad. That's the family right there. My sisters constantly yells at me for not being exacatly like her I mean she yelled at me for my hair not looking pretty and she yells at me each day but I don't tell my parents about so I don't hurt the family. I've been told off by my bro too and I've done the same with him to. Whenever my dad yells at me and beats me up, he one time beat me up for not doing the dishes the "right way" I don'tt tell anyone and act like it never happened. My mom is the only one that treats me like human being. I'm constantly getting yelled at by my brother and sister and dad but I don't do anything because I don't want to hurt the family. When all of this is happening I feel like I'm dying or something like that and my school doesn't make anything better with it's gangs and druggies asking you if you want to join there gang or take a hit. Another thing that makes everything worse is my medical condtions I'm constantly getting sick but only tell my parents when I can't take the pain anymore, until then I don't tell anyone because I don't want to hurt the family. I've never told anyone about it and I've always kept my problems locked in side me. I've gotten addcited to pain killers before but by accident lucky I was able to get off them before it became a big problem in my life. I have no one to really talk to. The only girl I started to open up to is a girl my family doesn't want me to be friends with. I'm doing this all for my family because I don't want them to think of me as a burden. My bro is good at sports and my sisters is pretty and stuff like that and I was told by my mom and bby my dad that I was a mistake that they didn't want and because of me my mom almost died in an accident and my bro and sis sometimes use that agasint me. But I don't do anything about it I guess I'm trying to be the all good girl trying to be the perfect daughter or something like that because I don't want them to believe I was just that one mistake that they had. But now I's getting way to hard and I'm starting to think about doing suicide. I've done all of this and I still think my family deservers better. Do I care too much for my family or am I just trying to show them that I'm not the mistake they had..

[hamworld05]

A) This is suckish. You shouldn't be yelled at, nor should anybody, because your sister is "embarrased to be your sister" or your older brother likes picking on you or because you didn't do the dishes right(irrelevant, but how could anyone not do "dishes right" without either being unable to do it, having a tough time with it[you shouldn't be doing it, in that case] or just plain being imperfect.

B) Your dad is frankly, committing abuse. Your momma is on it, too. By being sick, you are not hurting anybody. However, by not taking care of you properly, they are hurting you.

C) You need help. This is way too bad a situation for somebody to tackle alone. See a counselor. Call a phone line(one for abuse, too).

D) You haven't stated you resent them or anything like that. I'd be miffed if I were getting yelled at all the time. So you kind of surprise me there. I would say you inherently like them. Just a point: By committing suicide, you are not achieving a certain pair of goals: Show you care about them, and prove you're not a mistake.

E) I'd help myself if I were you first. You can't fix anybody.

Z) I hope this helps. A smiley for your troubles. :D