[jay_bastida]

Ok, so there's this girl lol; there is ALWAYS a girl, well OK we dated before and we been friends for a couple of years now; but OK we dated for about 6 months; this girl, in my eyes, has it all; head on her shoulders, smart, funny, beautiful, and virtues.. now here is where the problem stands; she is very vehement about not having sex or being intimate until marriage; I knew this before hand but we still dated and it was GREAT! Except for the part that there was no intimacy.. yea we fooled around but never, you know, had sex. So the time passed and well obvioulsy a man has needs so I called it off, and I'm sure she knew that was a factor into why we did.. anyway, the time has passed I dated someone else but we still talked and are good friends; this new chick I broke it off after 2 months, it was a childish relationship; since then; me and the EX have been seeing each other working things out, she tells me how this time apart made her realize how much she cared for me and wished we would have never broken up and FIX things.. so ha! I thought this was the perfect time to bring it up and well I did, and I asked her well the problem was that we weren't intimate, and she just said, jay you know what I think about that, but if I was to ever fall in love than I think that I would think alil different... so I'm like OK wtvr lol but I just don't get this chick, we fool around and all but I don't know if I should ask her out again and give it a shot cause I know this girl doesn't mess around and would want to take things seriously... ugh. frusturating lol I mean I send the woman home a little wet but it doesn't goes past that...
Any suggestions,? Something I am not seeing/realizing?
I know what you may say, dude there is so many girls out there. And yes your right, but trust me, I've had my share and I know this girl is worth only a LIL sacrifice lol

[Janmarie]

This is a girl who values herself greatly and it is obvious that because of the value she has for herself you also value her. How much value do you put on a girl who would easily jump your bones? I would think not much at all. There are those girls who guys like to date because they are fast and exciting but they are not marriage material. And there are those girls that a man would marry. She is one of those girls that is marriage material.

Be patient with her, your hormones are running wild.

[Romefalls19]

It sounds like all you are in this for is sex, and she isn't giving it up. Which is respectable of her, someone who claims to care for her shouldn't be pushing her to break her morals to satisfy you. Hopefully this is just the way the post came off and it's not entirely about sex, but if it is... They do have streets named after people like you, one way.

[hjpan]

It sounds like all you are in this for is sex, and she isn't giving it up. Which is respectable of her, someone who claims to care for her shouldn't be pushing her to break her morals to satisfy you. Hopefully this is just the way the post came off and it's not entirely about sex, but if it is...They do have streets named after people like you, one way.

Got to agree~

jay_bastida, you are pushing sex on her which isn't right. She values her virginity as PRICELESS and you called it off because "a man needs it?" I'm 19 and had sex with only one girl... who is now a 8itch to me and I don't talk to her.

I get those times too... I want to get on with a girl, but I question myself..

Is it worth it?

A lot of my friends, who are girls, don't like guys who has had promiscuous past...

You need to learn to understand HOW A GIRL FEELS, not just your hormones.

[jay_bastida]

no, I think I've been misunderstood; yes, u guys are correct she is a virgin but for the first time we dated; she kept telling me that the affection and intimacy was missing but its like is she just teasing with me or what? For the same reason I'm confused cause I Don't want to be mislead and then offend her because of her belief... and yes just because she has values which is not ordinary now a days, yes, that is why I respect her more than others and I do my best in UNDERSTANDING her...

[Janmarie]

You ask why her word/actions lead you to believe that she may want sex with you. Just because she has strong beliefs in waiting until she is married does not mean she doesn't feel turned on by you. She has desires too and maybe even thinks about what it would be like. Kissing, holding hands and hugging is all she is willing to give you right now. Don't make her feel bad for it and don't pressure her into doing something she isn't ready to do. Just go with the flow and when she wants it she will definitly let you know.

[jay_bastida]

Jan,
Its not just the typical stuff, lets just say if you were to see us hang out you would not think this girl is a virgin, and that's what throws me off; like yea I know she too has desires but holds back but I don't understand why she sometimes throws it out there to be intimate as in a teasing way... lol but OK thanks hun.

[asking]

I guess you are saying she's a tease. But it sounds like she's been clear.

Guess you'll have to give up on her or propose if you want to deal with this impasse. ;)

[ylaira]

Is she asian?

[Janmarie]

How ever she acts around you doesn't really matter right now. She will let you know when she is ready. Plain and Simple. But why arn't you asking her these questions in a way that doesn't make you come off as a horn dog. Ask her why she goes through the motions? It is possible that since you two did break up and you went for another girl who was willing, ready and able...that she is giving you a taste of what is possible if you stick around and wait. The prize so to speak.

[jay_bastida]

Jan,
Your right. And I just don't want her to get insulted, reason being I'm pretty blunt and or stupid that ima put my foot in my mouth and the last thing I want is for her to feel bad, I do care for her duh,. but I guess your right 'the best things in life come for those who are patient' right? Lol thanks hun

[N0help4u]

By affection and intimacy she as a virgin means what she is getting but she set her limits and to her for right now the affection and intimacy is sufficient for her.

You say she has it all the head on her shoulders, smart, funny, beautiful, and virtues...
Then you broke up because you wanted the sex and got the sex but found the relationship childish.
So you decided you prefer the smart, funny, beautiful, and virtues... more than the childish shallow relationship

she tells you how this time apart made her realize how much she cared for you and wished you would have never broken up and FIX things.. so ha

You sound like you could also say this time apart made you realize how much you cared for her and wished we would have never broken up and FIX things..

SO if you want her you first have to respect her values,
ASK her how she will know when and how she will know she has found that if I was to ever fall in love than I think that I would think alil different.

Ask her if she feels she could ever maybe to love you that much. Maybe even go as far as to ask her if she ever feels that she would want to marry you. BUT IF you don't see yourself loving her enough to marry her maybe you should find somebody else and leave her values intact.

[talaniman]

If you can't appreciate the lady for what she is, and deal with it, what are you looking for? She has told you what she is about, and why do you let the teasing throw you off??

But OK we dated for about 6 months;

Tsk Tsk, I think you should find someone who doesn't frustrate you as much.

[hjpan]

no, i think ive been misunderstood; yes, u guys are correct she is a virgin but for the first time we dated; she kept telling me that the affection and intimacy was missing but its like is she just teasing with me or waht? for the same reason im confused cause i DONT want to be mislead and then offend her bc of her belief... and yes just bc she has values which is not ordinary now a days, yes, that is why i respect her more than others and i do my best in UNDERSTANDING her...

Maybe she wants to go a bit further in making out?
You're not confused at all. She already told you she doesn't want to have sex. Period.
What is so confusing about that?

Her actions are pretty normal.. making out, holding hands, hugging...

[erin7799]

How old are the 2 of you? Then I'll go from there :)

[N0help4u]

He is 21

[hjpan]

So... oral sex?

[hjpan]

And as usual... you just want to have sex.. that's all it is in your head.

I'm out. Roger.

[erin7799]

It sounds like you like her for all of the right reasons. Just don't pressure her. You say that you don't want her to feel bad. Then don't talk about it anymore. She'll bring it up if and when she is ready. The man that I am with now I met when I was 14. At around 16 all of my friends were all having sex except for me. It was too scary and God only knows I didn't want to get pregnant or a disease. We never did have sex. And at the point when we did begin to have sexual relationships we weren't together. We were w/ other people. We lived far apart but somehow we would always find our way back to each other. He would come visit me, etc... After 10 years he still had a place in my heart. He was the one person who loved me enough to respect my wishes and boundaries. I actually found him online. We were in our twenties and we actually moved into together and the day that we moved in together we still hadn't had sex. Now that changed that night... lol :) But there is a lot to be said when you really truly LIKE the person that you're with for who they are, not for what they have to offer in the bedroom. I don't know this girl and I am really proud of her for not giving in. Society today expects that everyone should be having sex at 15 and 16 yrs. Old. Like it's natural. And when you decide to stay a virgin that makes you abnormal. How the times have changed. I remember when sex used to be a big deal. Now it's taken so lightly that there's almost no meaning behind it anymore. It's just an action. There's not much feeling behind it. It's sad really. But I hope that it works out for the both of you. Like I said... The ONE man who respected me enough to not pressure me to go there is the man I am going to spend the rest of my life with :) Good Luck to you!

[N0help4u]

I agree with Erin if you love her you will respect her and wait and in time she will see that you were there for her and that just may mean a lot to her. I think you need to have a talk with her where she wants the relationship to go. It doesn't exactly sound right if she is letting you do things with her yet she doesn't see you eventually being The ONE for her. But that may be in the back of her mind since you said she might go all the way 'with the right guy'