[Luv2Dance]

I over obsess on what others think of me and if I think they are talking about me...
An incident occurred where I know for sure someone has a negative thought about me because of something I said... and publicly stated it... some people defended me, but I know at least one person agreed with him at least everyone listened to him... but I felt as if this person was destroying my character over one thing I said and I just can't let things go... I think and think and analyze and obsess and cry and dwell and go over and over and over in my head about it for days and months... it's sickening... it makes me sick... my doctor told me that anyone who talked about it talked about it for a week or two and then its over with and they go on with their lives... so I should too... but I'm still revisiting it... I take meds for anxiety... but obviously it's not a cure-all... any other advice out there how to handle myself? I'm at a low right now *tear*

[0rphan]

Hello my friend,

You say you take meds for anxiety, but has your doctor referred you to a councillor or maybe phycologist.
I think you are suffering from slight OCD... obsessive compulsive disorder.. and you need to learn to retrain your thoughts... CBT... cognitive behaviour therapy... once you've mastered it, it can be very effective.Just taking meds I don't feel is enough for you... judging by your post, you need to talk about your thoughts and anxieties with somebody who's proffesionally trained to help you.

My advice would be to return to your Gp and ask to be referred to a therapist who I'm sure will aid you on a road to recovery, this is very common it just needs the correct treatment.

Takecare

[Choux]

I wonder how old you are?

[Could you be depressed about your life... feeling that you aren't making any "progress" like others around you *seem* to be.. Then dwelling on your imagined social imperfections? ]

[Luv2Dance]

I'm 26... have the career of my dreams... have my Masters plus 30credits and working on more. Have an amazing boyfriends... great friends... supportive family. At times my parents could be controlling... which was the cause of some of my "issues" in the past... but with my age they've eased up. So I really do not feel as if I am depressed about my life. I'm actually quite happy about where I am at my age... I feel successful for a young woman... I just feel out of control when I think about the thought that someone has negative thoughts about me. I just get fumed with anxiety when I think someone has negative feelings or thoughts about me. I'm not talking about "oh, she wore ugly shoes today." I mean... people whom are questions my judgement or comments or character in certain situations. Those types of things... it could be ANYONE who might question me... it makes me very upset... and triggers something inside of me that will set me off and replay whatever I said or did over and over in my head.
I don't know if this makes sense... sorry if I sound crazy...

[Luv2Dance]

Opps... that's BOYFRIEND... not boyfriends... lol.. in that last post!! No s there!!

[Choux]

Lol! I guessed that. :D

Seems you have perfectionist tendencies that are giving you aggravation. Also, I think it is being an ultimate controlling person to want to control other people's thoughts and speech and then ruminate over an unpleasant exchange as if you can STILL change what happened.

I think this is a fairly common condition in educated people... to get irritated over contradiction.

You are still young and have a lot of pressure on you to succeed and be all that goes along with that. Anything that someone perceives as a "flaw" in your "total personhood" threatens you way out of proportion to the event. You get shook to the bone instead of throwing it off as someone else's opinion.

I think you can shake off this habit of ruminating if you look at yourself in the mirror every morning and tell yourself that you aren't perfect. Then smile. It's OK not to be perfect. :)

Best wishes to you going forward. :)

[Luv2Dance]

You are still young and have a lot of pressure on you to succeed and be all that goes along with that. Anything that someone perceives as a "flaw" in your "total personhood" threatens you way out of proportion to the event. You get shook to the bone instead of throwing it off as someone else's opinion.

Everything you had to say is to true.. yes... Im so a Perfectionist! But right here, what I quoted, you nailed it!! Thanks for you time and advice... I appreciate it and will try it.

[Choux]

Thank you for the feedback.

Best wishes with your new mantra. :D

[MarrrecaAzul]

I used to worry about what other people thought of me until I realized one day that THEY are not the ones paying my bills and living my life. After that I felt a lot better and decided that I really didn't give a crap about what others thought. Even if you DID and SAID all the right things ALL the time, there would still be people judging you because that's the way human nature is. You can't force people to think a certain way about you, they believe what they want, regardless. You could be the nicest, most honest, smartest person in the world and some people STILL might not approve of you or your behavior. Don't worry about what others think, worry about what YOU think and concentrate on what makes you happy and everyone else can kindly go fly a kite! Hope that helps. :)