Check out some similar questions!

maddie1103 · Jul 30, 2008, 02:33 PM

I am currently 17 years old and am 6 1/2 months pregnant. I am engaged to a 20 year old who is the father of my baby. I live with my mom until I am 18 and move out. My dad is a felon and I can only have supervised visits with him bi-weekly. My dad's furious about the whole thing and says if I give my daughter her father's last name, the my dad will find a way to put her in foster care. If I give her the last name of her father on her birth certificate, is there anyway my dad can do what he says without having a probable cause. My dad said the only way we can keep our daughter is if me and my fiance' live byourselves and show that we can support ourselves. Would it count against us if our daughter has her father's last name and we still continue to live with my mom or is he just trying to scare us? I need to know these answers a.s.a.p so me and my fiance' can figure out what to do.

Thanks for your time,
Candi

KissMe10der · Jul 30, 2008, 02:35 PM

What last name does he want her to have? And WHY?

babygirl1092 · Jul 30, 2008, 02:51 PM

At the point you have the baby you are an Adult. (Check your states amansapation laws)And you have all rights to your daughter, and there is nothing your father could do nothing about it, give her his lastname, he can't do a thing, only you and the baby's dad can say what the baby's names can be.

TRUCKDRIVER0406 · Jul 30, 2008, 03:00 PM

Just wondering why a man who has to have supervised visits with his own daughter thinks he would have a leg to stand on trying to take away your child. He obviously has something in his past that prevents regular visitaion with you. Just something to think about!

J_9 · Jul 30, 2008, 03:51 PM

I'm with most everyone here. Your father does not have a legal leg to stand on.

Now, think about this thoroughly. It is much easier to give your baby your last name and change it later to his last name than it is to give the baby the father's last name if you are not married.

I see this quite frequently in the hospital I where I work. The Birth Certificate Lady who will come around to you the day after your baby is born will know all of the legalities of your particular situation and your location. She will be the best one to inform you of the best way to handle this predicament.

But, again, your father does not have a legal leg to stand on. Sounds like a scare tactic to me.

babygirl1092 · Jul 30, 2008, 09:24 PM

I went through something similar, when I had my daughter yaya my boyfriend who isn't her father signed the birthcertificet, so forth we gave her his lastname and we had talked about it for the last 3 months of my pregnancy, his mom didn't like that very much and tried to do the same to me as your dad is too, to this day (yaya will be 2 in aug) his mom still doesn't think she should have his last name even though he adopted her and is now her legal father

LearningAsIGo · Jul 31, 2008, 08:48 AM

Your father is trying to scare you. You and your fiancé are the only ones legally responsible for the child once it is born, including whatever name you give her. Especially considering his own troubled past, no judge would give him any sort of control over anything to do with his grandchild. For that matter, even if he tried to do something, no lawyer would support him.

Try to distance yourself and just continue to focus on you & your baby for now. You have enough to worry about without him causing you trouble.
Good luck to you

maddiesmommy · Aug 1, 2008, 11:44 AM

Honey he can't do nothing, once you have the baby you become an adult, It Emancipates you. If you mom is cool with you staying there, then your fine. No one can take your child from you unless your on drugs or in jail. Don't worry about your dad he can't take you baby. Congrats and good luck. It the best feeling being a parent.

asking · Aug 1, 2008, 12:10 PM

I agree. Your father is just trying to scare you. He cannot have your baby put in foster care. He cannot take the baby. And no one else will as long as you are a loving parent able to take care of the baby, which it sounds like you are. It's great that you can stay with your mother now.

On the other hand, I think J-9 makes a good point about the baby's name. But that has NOTHING to do with your father and this threats. It's your choice more than anyone else's. So think it over. Giving your baby your own name is a thought (and it's YOUR name; you've had it for 17 years. Don't think of it as your parents' name). If you get married, and want to change your name and/or the baby's to your fiancee's name, you can do that.

asking · Aug 1, 2008, 12:12 PM

Hi Maddie,
I've been thinking about your father's threat, too. If he is upsetting you, and it sounds like he is, you do NOT have to visit him. You can tell him to stop threatening you or you will not visit with him until he stops.

You have some power in dealing with him now that you are older. I have seen my own teenage children deal very effectively with their father--telling him he cannot threaten them. And he stops, at least for a while. It's hard, I know. My ex threatened to put our baby up for adoption right after he was born, just to scare me and make me cry. It's an awful feeling to hear those words from someone in your own family. But your baby is yours and will always love you. Remember that.

Anyway, consider standing up to your father. Threatening to take your baby is one of the worst things he could say to you. Just the threat is emotional abuse and not okay. Unless you think it would be dangerous to stand up to him, consider telling him you won't put up with such behavior any more.

Good luck and enjoy your new baby!