[lost456]

So me and my girlfriend have been dating on and off for 2 years and this past one has been the best so far! I was so happy and if felt like it would never end. She always talked to this one other guy and she always told me they were just friends and she never cheats. A few days ago she said she was starting to like him as more than a friend I didn't panic because this had happened before I thought she loved me too much. But then it got worse so I tried talking to her and I kept telling her how I didn't want to lose her she said I would never lose her as a best friend and I asked if she wanted me as a best friend or a boyfriend she said she really needed a best friend right now. She says she still cares about me but she felt like things were falling apart and the love she has isn't enough to base a relationship off so I told her I will try my hardest to get that love back she said she wanted me to and she wanted everything to go back to how it was a month ago when it was all OK. She also said she didn't want to hurt me again because she has crushed me 3 times. So that guy asked her out on a date and I'm freaking out I know its just a date but I don't want anything to happen and her to fall in love with him I just can't stand the thought of losing her it too much for me... please help

[ilovcali]

Hey man, this is my advice and you won't like it. SCREW THIS GIRL. She is completely abusing you mentally and emotionally. Your girlfriend shouldn't be a DRUG HABIT she should be your girlfriend.

I mean she flat out treats you like crap. And just because she treats you like crap in a "nice" way shouldn't change the fact that she treats you like crap. GET A SPINE! STOP BEING A DOORMAT.

STAY AWAY FROM HER. She's already driven you to near insanity. THAT'S NOT LOVE. Let her do what she wants. YOU BECOME SANE. STAY AWAY FROM HER.

WALK AWAY. It's hard, BUT YOU HAVE TO!

--Cali

[Rockstar714]

Run away.

She just wants to lead you on and keep you on a lease because she knows you won't go anywhere while she gets to go out and date and have fun.

Find a nice girl, and tell her where to go. Its hard, but there isn't another option.

[Boristheblade]

I honestly believe that this relationship is over & if It was to be salvaged it will not come from your actions. If she says the feelings she has for you aren't the same, the likelihood is that there's nothing you can do or say to make her feel the same. The fact that she is going on a date with somebody she likes shows her beginning to move on, rather than trying to work on her relationship with you. When it comes down to it she, for whatever reason, does not want to be with you right now- and for this reason you need to let her go. Hanging on to false hope and trying to "win" her back will distress you, especially watching her date someone else. The best thing would be to initiate NC, because you cannot straight away be best friends with someone you are in love with who has just dumped you. Also, maybe time apart from her will make her fully appreciate you and get these feelings back. You need to get in a position where you'll be OK even if she doesn't. You need to go NC. Just my opinion, hope it helps :)

[lost456]

It may sound that she treats me like crap but she doesn't she is the nicest person in the world to me she is feeling absolutely horrible for doing this and that is one of the reasons she doesn't want to date right now she doesn't want to hurt me again

[HistorianChick]

Hon, she is making you the bad guy in this situation. From what I read, she is making you feel like its your fault that your relationship fell apart. She is saying that wants you to be her friend, that she wants you to find out how to get the love back, to make it like it was...

Thing is... you haven't changed. She's the one that has the wandering heart... she's changed the rules. You've stayed over the past "on and off" two years... you've been there for her. Even when this "happened before."

It sounds like she is wanting to have her cake and eat it too. To have the yummy cake AND the ice cream. To have two deserts at once. (to have two guys at once)

She likes the attention that you give her because you love her... but she doesn't want to settle... she wants the excitement of having a boyfriend and a best friend.

She doesn't realize that you can be both...

I'm sorry to say this, but I think you need to let her go. Tell her that you haven't changed, that you are still that best friend, and that you still want to be the boyfriend... and that you can't handle anything less. That your heart can't take it. I know you want more - you want to be Everything for her... but she's not ready for it.

I wish you the best. :)

[ilovcali]

You're making excuses for her bro. STOP DEFENDING HER! SHE CRUSHED YOU 3 TIMES!! You should HAVE SOME SPINE. In fact, you should be FED UP WITH HER. Everything is this situation is backwards.

And perhaps you come from that place in the world were there is only one girl. In the rest of the world, there are plenty of fish in the sea.

SHE IS YOUR DRUG HABIT. SHE IS YOUR FIX. SHE IS NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND. KICK THE HABIT.

--Cali

[Romefalls19]

Ilovcali hit it right on the head, eventually you have to pick your manhood up and start walking, scratch that, start running in a far away direction from her. She told you that she liked someone and you were okay with it? And this happened TWICE, man what is it going to take for you to realize she is playing you like a cheap instrument?

[lost456]

OK I think I'm just not ready to lose her but I guess I will have to

[ilovcali]

No one is EVER READY to lose someone bro. I've lost MORE than one girl that I really cared about. Some because I moved away (distance), some because we just weren't right for each other, and some to another guy. It ALWAYS SUCKS. It really does. But that's part of the game.

I get frustrated sometimes when I think back on these instances. But whatever. I'm a totally awesome dude and I live a pretty fantastic life. And at this point in my life, if I like someone they usually like me.

BENDING OVER BACKWARDS is not the way to win someone over. Being happy, positive, and busy, that WILL HELP.

THIS DRUG HABIT of yours, has shaken your confidence, and made you completely unable to function without the drug.

KICKING A HABIT that is keeping you down (LIKE THIS GIRL) is the first step to you becoming a happier person.

And if I were you, I wouldn't talk to her at all. You may not think so because you are blinded by her POISON, but she's mean to you and not worth anymore effort.

And yes, it does suck, but it does get better. Good luck.

--Cali

[lost456]

Thanks I will do that and we'll see what ahppenes in the end

[pierro]

I didn't read the answers but I would try to make her jalous, you have to have secrets from her, go out with other girls and make party! She going to hate it. *sry if my english isn't the best, I'm french*

[jenny77]

Wow that's really messed up... I know you want me to write something to make you feel better so here I'm in a worse situation I just found out my boyfriend of 2 years cheated on me 4 months ago and hejust confessed... ok so I definitey think that you should start going out more and look for other girls.. she KNOWS u love her and this is why she feels that she can do this to u... YOU ALREADY FORGAVE HER 3 TIMES! You don't deserve this so put her in the boat for once and let her suffer. Those guys will eventually leave her and shell want you back sooo badly but you will no longer be single :) so go fishing NOWW :)

[talaniman]

so that guy asked her out on a date

She has never been yours or ever been a friend to you, NEVER.

and I'm freaking out I know its just a date

It's a signal that she has been talking to him trying to hook up and now you know, as they may have been hooking up all along.

but I didn't want anything to happen and her to fall in love with him

I get you care, but she doesn't. That's not love.

I just can't stand the thought of losing her it too much for me..

Accept that you never had her as a friend or lover as she has been lying and leading you on the whole time. Sorry, but its time to recognize the betrayal, and get on to a better life. A good start is to read the stickies for this forum (links in my signature), and stop all contact with this female.

Sorry for your loss.

[lost456]

I think I've found the asnwer I was looking for

[lost456]

I think I've found the asnwer I was looking for

If you catch a dove set it free, if it comes back it is yours, if it doesn't it was never yours to begin with

[jenny77]

Exactlyyy!!