[ERINA3746]

My fiancé does drugs every once in awhile crack/cocaine to be specific. Well this weekend he was having a couple of beers with his friends at work and when we went to go home he started to make me miserable by throwing in my face all the bad parts of my life, but then we got home and we were joking and laughing and he received a phone call from my cousin who is a big time crack addict who said he was going to come and get him for a night out... well I was pissed off and I went to go to the bathroom and looked out my bedroom window and saw my fiancé in my car stealing money from me. I confronted him and asked him are you stealing money from me he said yup. Well I needed that money to go to the dr.s and get my car inspected the next day. I got so angry I grabbed my car keys and left and went to my parents for the night. I went back home at 730 am and he was not there he didn't get home till 1pm and has not really said anything to me since I am so angry with him I don't know what to do... its not like he has an uncontrollable drug problem because he can go weeks without doing drugs.. I want to know if I'm stupid for giving this yet another chance, I just wish the occasional drug use would stop.. I do love him with all my heart and soul... I need advice desperately

[danielnoahsmommy]

Run for the hills. Get rid of him now. Don't play the martyr.

[chuff]

Wow. I don't even know where to start. You are so ridiculously lost it's not even funny. I'm not trying to be rude, just accurate.

My fiance does drugs every once in awhile crack/cocaine to be specific.

I've never heard of someone who can do these drugs every once and while. I'd bet he's doing them more then you realize. Since your in denial, let's assume your right and it is once and while. Your boyfriend has issues that are beyond his control and don't exactly make him fit to be hanging around... and your living with the guy. If you had a daughter, is the this the dream guy you'd want there dating?

my cousin who is a big time crack addict who said he was gonna come and get him for a night out....

So why are you hanging out with your cousin. You knew your cousin long before he met your boyfriend, what about his behavior warrants being around him.

well i was pissed off and i went to go to the bathroom and looked out my bedroom window and saw my fiance in my car stealing money from me.

Remember when I said he was doing them more then you realize. Well, this is why. The guy is stealing from you to pay for his addiction. Think about this BS. If your boyfriend broke into my car and was stealing money from it, he was be introduced to my fist. You on the other hand want to know if you should continue sleeping with him? One of us is thinking straight... the other one is you.

How you can possibly sit there and say he only has a problem "occasionally" speaks to YOUR denial about this problem.

I confronted him and asked him are you stealing money from me he said yup.

Well give him one for honesty. The man is so far gone into his addiction... which you won't even admit to, that he admits openly he steals for it.? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? This is one of the easiest get the hell out of this situations I've ever seen posted on this site!

Well i needed that money to go to the dr.s and get my car inspected the next day.

So his addiction... the one you call "occasional" is so bad that he steals from you for money that was for your own personal well being for your own doctor's visit. His addiction is more important then your own health. ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR F-ING MIND? Kick his a$$ to the curb. He doesn't give a damn about anything about you.

I got so angry

It's about time, I'm PO'ed and I don't even know this tool.

i grabbed my car keys and left and went to my parents for the night.

So now we know he's a crack addict (occasionally, of course), he's a thief, he doesn't care about your health, and he has no problem letting you go home and tell you parents about what a loser he is. Seriously, I can't imagine my daughter coming home and telling me this story and me thinking, "Yeah she's got a winner, if I died today, I'm thrilled to know this is the guy looking after her." WHAT ABOUT THIS IS IN ANY WAY RIGHT?

I went back home at 730 am and he was not there he didnt get home till 1pm and has not really said anything to me since i am so angry with him i dont know what to do...

How about leave... forever. Man I can't believe this would even be a hard decision.

its not like he has an uncontrollable drug problem

HE'S STEALING TO SUPPORT HIS DRUG PROBLEM? ARE YOU AND TALKING ABOUT THE SAME GUY?? You are in such denial, are you the one on drugs?

because he can go weeks without doing drugs..

He can go weeks without you knowing.

I want to know if im stupid for giving this yet another chance,

Yes, very stupid.

i just wish the occasional drug use would stop..

Occasional. There it is. Other then that... and the theft... and the lack of concern about your health... and not giving a damn where you sleep at night, the guy is really a good guy.

i do love him with all my heart and soul....i need advice desperately

What you have is a co=dependancy problem. You love him with your heart and soul. Great line for a movie but in real life you heart and soul would like have her money back. That part of your heart and should has been disrepected and last time I checked that's not love. 3 billion guys on this planet, and this is yours? You need to leave him yesterday. I mean that, when you left yesterday you should have left him. Why would anybody want this situation or this person in there life? Relationships do have ups and downs, but at least when there are some down times you have the ups to look forward to. This is just dragging at the bottom and staying there.

[beachbikerider]

My fiance does drugs every once in awhile crack/cocaine to be specific. Well this weekend he was having a couple of beers with his friends at work and when we went to go home he started to make me miserable by throwing in my face all the bad parts of my life, but then we got home and we were joking and laughing and he received a phone call from my cousin who is a big time crack addict who said he was gonna come and get him for a night out....well i was pissed off and i went to go to the bathroom and looked out my bedroom window and saw my fiance in my car stealing money from me. I confronted him and asked him are you stealing money from me he said yup. Well i needed that money to go to the dr.s and get my car inspected the next day. I got so angry i grabbed my car keys and left and went to my parents for the night. I went back home at 730 am and he was not there he didnt get home till 1pm and has not really said anything to me since i am so angry with him i dont know what to do...its not like he has an uncontrollable drug problem because he can go weeks without doing drugs..I want to know if im stupid for giving this yet another chance, i just wish the occasional drug use would stop..i do love him with all my heart and soul....i need advice desperately

Eeek... is this something you can live with for the rest of your life? Be prepared that he may never change...

[f104]

You don't need advice you know what you need to do. I used to do hard drugs. You need to leave him. By staying with him you are only helping kill him. He needs to hit botttom and you sticking with him is like saying "your doing hard drugs is not really that bad." Failing that you should seek out Al Anon, NA and AA meetings. Go there and find out what is the best thing you can do. Presently you are enabling his behavior which will only lead to disaster for both of you. Drug abusers are liars, cheats and thieves, take it from one who knows. Your fiancé can get help if he wants it. I doubt he was only having a couple of beers. He was probably on his way to getting drunk.

His actions are the typical for an abuser of alcohol and drugs. Expect things to get worse the longer you stay with him.

[gg23]

Well... I am sorry that you love this guys with all your heart... but you got to love yourself more and put yourself first... in cases like this I would say... run run run run for the hills... it's now or never... it starts with stealing, then beating you up, the next thing you know after you guys are married and probably have kids... he tries to have you kick the bucket so he can collect insurance money...

[liz28]

Why do you have the same questions posted twice, one under relationship and than dating?

[erin7799]

They say that everyone deserves to be loved which I believe is true. But what you need to do with this person is to give him a swift kick in the and send him on his way. How will you ever trust this person? You won't. If you want to waste your time that's fine. Are you afraid that if you let him go there won't be anyone else? I'm not being mean but you sound like you're in the position of trying to "help" him and you don't have much self esteem to allow someone to treat you that way. U LOVE YOU FIRST...

[cromptondot]

There is no such thing as "a controlled drug habit", Do not be an enabler. RUN!!

[talaniman]

I hope you listen to what the other posters have said, and take heed, it will get much worse, as you will find out the hard way, if you remain in this situation.

Consider yourself warned.