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Foru · Jul 4, 2008, 08:09 PM

I have been with my GF for 6 months and we see each other 6 days a week, we are in love.

She is very protective and controlling of me and does not like it when I talk to other girls as am I about her and boys..

We had an issue about her and a closeness with another boy about 3 months ago, she would take pictures with him and text him fairly often.

I told her that it botherd me so she went over the top and stopped talking to him complety in fear of losing me.

Today I have now found out that she has the boy back in her myspace top friends (MySpace is an online community that allows friends to keep in touch and meet new people) and she uses myspace everyday to talk to her friends and find out about music.

Also I have noticed she has been sending a lot of texts recently but she allways tells me she is texting her best friend.

I find myself asking the same question did she really stop talking to him or just hide it from me?

Although she isn't doing anything wrong it just seems like she is being secretive

Should I be worried?

(added)
Also I think she may have only added him in her top friends, because I have a new friend and I think it is making her jealous (added)

:confused:

ChihuahuaMomma · Jul 4, 2008, 10:35 PM

I understand that she is being hypocritical, but what is wrong with her having a friend that is male? My best friend is male (I'm female), and I've been with my boyfriend for two years. We are in love, and my friendship with Joe* isn't tainted, nor my relationship with Adirondack*.

I honestly hate it when people refuse to accept the fact that two people of the opposite sex can be JUST FRIENDS! I've been JUST friends with Joe* for nearly 6 years. If there was something more, it would have surfaced by now... But no...

*Names changed for privacy purposes!

happy_jester · Jul 5, 2008, 03:17 AM

Originally Posted by Foru

She is very protective and controlling of me and does not like it when i talk to other girls as am i about her and boys..

"Foru" you mention,in your question that you see each other six days a week. :eek:
This would seem,to me,to be rather too much.

The reason I say that,is for the fact that there is jealousy in this relationship [both you
& him]

Also,as you mention,you are both very protective and controlling of each other. :(

You're BOTH needing to TRUST each other more,& when this happens,your
Problem will be resolved.

JoeCanada76 · Jul 5, 2008, 04:23 AM

Thanks for the name change. Hmmm. Just kidding. (ChihuahuaMomma)

I would say in this age, your worried way too much but then again you have only been seeing each other for 6 months.

Worry won't change anything, but being obsessed or always accusing of somebody being secretive will create problems.

Like the very first reply you got. People are able to have friends that are the opposite sex without it being anything more.

N0help4u · Jul 5, 2008, 04:57 AM

All you really can do is point out her double standard and tell her as long as she can have male friends you can have female friends.

JBeaucaire · Jul 5, 2008, 07:12 AM

Putting your insecurities onto another person is just rude. If you two are doing it to each other as a natural part of your relationship, then fine, you're BOTH being rude.

A healthy relationship simply doesn't need these kind of rules or restrictions. You couldn't care less who she's friends with unless it's causing HER grief, in which case then you care. Guys, girls, dogs, martians... whoever she wants to befriend she can. You're fine either way.

I know where these controlling habits come from, they come from the thought "she might be unfaithful." My unpopular response to that is "so what!?" You cannot lead your life that way. Well, you can, but you can't have any peace in the meantime.

Simply put, if she's going to cheat, you need to allow that to happen while you're still just dating so you can KNOW she has that ability. You don't bother suspecting or fearing or fretting, you just love her and let her have her life at the same time. Either she can be faithful to you or she can't and either way you need to know.

So both of you need to let all this "only friends I approve of" junk go. It's unhealthy. A mature relationship is strong enough to not need all this baggage. Aim for that.

happy_jester · Jul 5, 2008, 08:12 AM

Originally Posted by JBeaucaire

Simply put, if she's going to cheat, you need to allow that to happen while you're still just dating so you can KNOW she has that ability.

Good point!

Better to find this out BEFORE any real commitment is made in the relationship.

loopy123 · Jan 28, 2009, 02:11 AM

what's good for the goose is good for the gander;)

neverme · Jan 28, 2009, 08:13 AM

This is not a relationship it's a control battle and she has just started to use different tactics.

You are not in love. People in love don't act the way you guys are. They trust understand and communicate. Can you tell me any of these words relate to this relationship?

chrissymarie · Jan 28, 2009, 02:39 PM

It sounds to me like you both have jealousy issues so of course your worrying. She may be hiding her friendship with him from you because she doesn't want to deal with you jealousy issues. Until you both deal with your jealousy problems you will continue to have suspicions about her and eventually you 2 will just isolate one another from the world.

Yes be worried that your girlfriend can't be open with you. That's not good.