[nelsta78]

Ok well a few week ago I finished with my girlfriend, I didn't want to but the situation we were in made it so.Anyway she said no why don't we have a break.
So I agreed... then like the clever sod I am, I get my phone out and start to write a text, keep in my mind I had no credit, and I position the phone so she can see everythign I'm doing,She asked who I was txtin I tell her some girl I met in a club who was giving me affection(one reason I was willing to call the relationship off was I was getting no affection from her).

Now we started the break 3/4 week ago and we still get on really well, she phones me 4/5 times a day and we still meet up on fridays.But now it seems she's mistook my idea of affection i.e. overly flirty.. for her idea of affection i.e. I pulled the girl I was txtin.

She always makes jokes about it, but won't let it go... and rightly so I admit what I did was wrong.

But friends have told me what I have done is worse than cheating, because it's all left to her immagination, where as if I'd have cheated it's be out in the open and everything would be known.

Is this true?

[starlite1]

Hi Nesta,

Did you really meet a girl in the club, or did you make the whole thing up?

[Distantlove]

Starlite, I think he made it up.

My first question is: Do you want to get back with your girlfriend?

[nelsta78]

Yes I want her back, and as I say we are getting on really well, she makes jokes about how in the future she can win any argument we ever have by mentoning this other girls name, and she's kind of admitted that she's going to make me work hard for her.

And yes I did make it up, I was playing the lets make her jealous game... it backfired!

[Distantlove]

Oh dear lol. Well the only thing you can do is tell her what you've told us. Tell her that you didn't really do it, you did it to make her jealous/ see her reaction and then give her the reason why you wanted to make her jealous.. which is? Tbh, the jealousy game NEVER works, I tried that once and it made things worse and my boyfriend didn't want to talk to me, instead it made him really angry.

[nelsta78]

I've tried to explain numerous times... she say's she doesn't believe me.
But it's the constant making jokes I don't get.
My friend reckons she believes me but she's enjoying winding me up and it's a punishment thing.Wich again I can understand... I tried making a joke about it... nearly got my head ripped off.

[starlite1]

Well, take it from a woman, pretending that you cheated vs. actually cheating, both are wrong. Nobody likes games, sweetie. I know you wanted to see if you could get a rise out of her, to see if she gets jealous, but you are right, she didn't. If you really want her back, nesta, communicate your true feelings to her. Express what your needs are, and let her explain to you, hers. Communication is key in all relationships. Take things slow, and see how it all developes, but no more games :)

[BMI]

I for one think what you did was horrible. If she was seeing a guy or made up that she was talking to a guy your world would be turned upside down with jealousy and hurt, it can change a person. You are using a tactic that screws with the emotions of others in order for you to get what you want. I must also say that she has handled it quite well,however, if she finds out it may well be the end of you.

Your plan in simplicity is to hurt the girl you want back in order for her to come back (though it does not read so simple).

Pray Karma does not exist friend.

Finally, you did wrong and the only fix is to tell her the truth without concern over whether she will take you back or not. If your more concerned with getting her back than her well-being than you are not good for her even though she may be good for you.

[plonak]

Ok so I haven't read the other posts so forgive me if I'm repeating anything..

What you did was VERY immature.. and lame.. why didn't you TALK to her about wanting more affection instead of pretending you were cheating... that's beyond lame.. you need to grow up!!