[Distantlove]

(For those who are familiar with my story) We don't speak much at all now. Perhaps a goodnight text and that's it. He messaged me the other day on Facebook and it was a long conversation, but of course its not going to be much because we said we're not going to talk as much as we did because we need our space. He said we are going to get back together in a couple of weeks, but I don't think we should. It hurts to admit it.

I'v just got all his stuff, memories of us, photos, tickets, letters and put them in a shoe box. I read through the letters he sent me half a year ago saying how much he loves me and how he'll never stop loving me and I couldn't stop crying. I feel like I'v lost a chunk of my heart. He text me last night how he misses me, how he loves me and how he's been thinking about me and how 'beautiful and caring' I am, and I told him I love him too. We don't text at all during the day, just a goodnight text. When we broke up he cried and told me how he doesn't want to lose me because he only wants to love me and nobody else. But then sometimes I think maybe he was just saying that because he was upset, he seems to be getting on fine without me at the moment. Then again, it seems that I am getting on fine as well.

I just don't want to love him anymore, I don't want to miss him anymore, it just hurts too much. I just want to know how long this will take. We are meant to be meeting in a couple of weeks, but I have doubts that it will happen, and even if he did ask, I know deep down I would think it's a bad idea, yet I'm not strong enough to say no and I would agree to see him. I honestly feel really lonely. I seem to be blaming myself that he has changed because he told me I never used to give anything back to him (not much) and so he stopped making as much effort recently. I blame myself for this when I know I shouldn't. I miss the guy I fell in love with.

Why is it that when you lose them, you start to think of the good things that you had? And how close you were? :( And everything that would make you miss them more and make you cry.

How can I stopped myself from missing him? How can I put myself off him? I just feel so empty and upset right now:(

[nelsta78]

Only way I found to do it is make a list of all there bad points.. both phsyically and personally.And read it every time you think of him.

And then just think to yourself that the person is a fooker for making you feel this way.

[Distantlove]

Thanks nelsta. Kind of made me giggle a bit.

I just can't seem to stop thinking about it. When we broke up he also said minor things can upset him about me, like when he goes on my Facebook and he saw me having a conversation (innocent stuff about studying, summer and exams), and he got upset by this because it was a long conversation, but it didn't mean anything because I was just having a chat with this guy who used to go to my school. And then it just annoyed and upset me today because I went on his Facebook and he was talking to a girl about this party and just funny stuff that happened (I didn't find it upsetting he was talking to her, but I got annoyed that he could tell me he gets upset with me talking to guys and then he's allowed to do it). So I feel uncomfortable having close guy mates because I'm scared my ex will get put off by it.

I just don't know how it long its going to take me to realise (in my heart) that my ex wasn't right for me. It's just really upsetting me. He emailed me today saying how he misses me and how he'de love to give me a hug because he misses me and he's always thinking about me and he loves me etc. And I get happy when I received contact from him, but then I don't want to get excited when I hear from him because its not going to work out between us. But then I get upset if I don't hear from him. What am I supposed to do about that?

I just really want to stop missing him and I just want to feel like I'm wasting my time with him, I want to feel like its not worth it but I can't seem to do it :(

Any other opinions would be great thanks.

[talaniman]

How can I stopped myself from missing him? How can I put myself off him? I just feel so empty and upset right now:(

You may feel stuck at the moment, but it will pass, especially if you get up when you feel that way and do something really good for yourself or some deserving person who NEEDS your help.

The best way to push old memories and feelings aside is to make new ones, and do something that makes you feel good.

I personally like volunteering at churches, and hospitals, to feel useful, and meet new people, and gain a better perspective on my own problems.

[Distantlove]

You seem like a nice, helpful guy Tal !
Yea I can understand that, helping others to gain a better perspective. I'm going to come up with some stuff I could be of use for. I already feel good about myself at work when I help those who need it. It cheers me up to know I can be of good help to others. Thanks for that :)

[friend4u178]

Its going to take you a lot longer if you keep corresponding with him.

[AustProd6]

Its going to take you a lot longer if you keep corresponding with him.

Definitely, if your always there, than your always there.

Feel the hurt yourself and deal with it once.

NO CONTACT

You may find like me, that you may win him back and find out when you win him he's not worth it.

[liz28]

You need stop opening up his text mess and stop accepting his calls and block him from your facebo account. Also, you owe him nothing so if you don't want to meet with him, tell him no. Don't get weak for this guy and stand up to him and remember is your ex for a reason.

When we break-up with someone its weird you only think of the good memories but when that happen change fous and think of the bad. Also don't worry about what's he doing, where's he going who he's going with. Free him from your life by letting him go.

You always place all memories of him a shoe box, leave it there. Cut all communication with him and you'll see how easiler it can go. Getting over someone takes time and the healing process vary from person to person. Just keep strong and do things that will keep you busy. Yoga and karate is good for your mind and body and it help me in the past and still to do this day.