[naivedude]

2 years.. she wanted marriage. About to give her the ring and she breaks up with me...

I don't understand! Did I do something wrong ? Do you think I was dishonest? Do you think I lied? Did you read a myspace message you didn't like? All of that myspace crap stuff means nothing to me!! I WAS BEING TRUTHFULL TO YOU!! I Didn't CHEAT ON YOU!! I DINDNT LOVE ANYONE BUT YOU!! SO WHAT ARE YOU DOING?? I LOVED YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING. I WANTED TO MAKE US WORK!! YOU WERE MY BABYLUV! YOU WERE MY BEST FRIEND! You WERE EVERYTHING TO ME! IM SORRY I SCARED YOU WITH THE RING AND MARRIAGE BUT I WAS PREPARED!! I wanted to be with you forever!! I showed you the ing ring!! What the hell happened? I think about you every day all day. I wake up to thoughts of you, and go to sleep to you! You are all I wanted in this world. You are perfect in every way to me!! Every lovesong I hear reminds me of you . Every movie I think of you!! NONE of this was fake or insincere!! What the can I do with just email!? I have been been through pain and agony mentally and physically trying to cope with losing the one I wanted to love all my life!! Why?? I JUST WANTED TO MAKE YOU HAPPPY!! I yell and cry everyday because of what has happened. I can't stand to have lost you. Why are you pushing me away?? I AM COMMITTED TO LOVING YOU!!

I AM BEGGING YOU - ON MY ING BIRTHDAY!!

I LOVE YOU!!
Everyone tells me to just move on . Bbut I can't because I love you alone.! I'm ing crying right now. How can you lose your love for me??
Please I AM SO SINCERE. YOU ARE EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED--- from the bottom of my heart, you have always had my entire heart!!

What guy writes letter s like I did? Why would I write you letter after letter?? These are real feelings I've always had for you!! Please answer me. If I hurt you I never meant to ! But can't we talk about it? I NEVER WANTED TO LET YOU GO!! YOU WERE THE MOST PERFECT AND BEAUTIFUL THING IN MY WORLD!! PLEASE Don't GO!!

[RedneckMama]

"i love her still. i might send her an email"

... if you truly feel so despondent and heartbroken over her... show her in person--screw an email...

"2 years.. she wanted marriage. about to give her the ring and she breaks up with me..."

... lemme ask you this: did she KNOW you were 'about' to propose? Maybe she decided 2 years was long enough to spend wishing for something that obviously was not happening in her very near future... if you love her and want marriage, fine--propose... but if you're not wanting to commit all of yourself, if marriage is not something you think you're ready for... then I'm with all those folks telling you to move on... good luck.

[sokay]

Redneck, I perceive a very perceptive lady:-)

[talaniman]

Nice rant. Feel better?

[naivedude]

Its long...


[you won't like this letter because it speaks the truth and you never liked the truth... it points out your true colors]
Did you tell your friends I called you a whore??
You know that's not true. I'll mail you the chatlogs if you don't believe me. I just said you were seeing greg and I wasn't born yesterday or stupid. You said "what im a whore?" -so, why did you turn that on me? Why then also did you have the gall to tell me everything about this guy greg. That's not right. I would never say something like that to you.

Then you set up contact rules- and I followed. But you tried to pawn me off as the crazy ex boyfriend. Why?? Though I could very easily reach you by phone, email, text, letter, work phone. I stopped reaching you because you simply told me to. I respected your wishes the way you asked, --i never sent you anything but love letters.

You switched your love OFF like a light switch. I should be grateful in retrospect we didn't have money, a house, or most importantly kids together. You went from wanting to marry me to never wanting to talk to me. Why? Your only dramatic answer was "i freaked you out" and you would never translate that into adult language for what's really going on between us... and then my only way to explain things was over email. How friggin awesom is it to explain your feelings of a serious relationship, one in which I wanted to marry you, in an email!? You know how frustrating that is?

There speaks the underlying difference between you and me. I am real and long term and you are not. I talk about our issue. You blow dramatics up everyone's . Does your mom know you think she drinks too much? I've heard the word alcoholic used. Does Kim know you think she's a stupid and a few other names, like you used to tell me. You talk on everyone, and lied to me and kim about having greg over at your house at lunchtime for a little fun. Meanwhile you lied to me and everyone about it. Did you really sell your banshee or go to the hospital for a week or get busted by your boss for seeing an IM. Hmm. Did you really get both phones stolen. Was the reception so bad that you had to ignore my calls. Were you away from your phone so often. -that gave you a great reason to yell at me. Did you ever really want to come back to me or was it because robert wasn't really working out? Did you really get kicked out by, what you described as, your drunk mean dad? I know I trusted you on a lot of things... too many things

So I get to play the -that you lied to, that simply assumed you were doing something, when you REALLY WERE doing something, but screw me, tell all your friends I called you a name I never did. That will gain you a bunch of support and momentum to date your would be roommate, to show such disregard for me, and throw as much momentum into moving in with a guy and getting stuff from him in the first 2 months. Did I say boobjob? The grapevine speaks. As does your transparency

So, why do you blame me for everything? Is it to justify everything your doing?? You are completely transparent and I can only hope your friends must see it by now. Maybe they'll begin to realize it. Susi is all about the shock, the wow, the drama, but there's nothing behind the curtain. The one guy that truly loved her, she stepped on, spat on the relationship, and wiped her feet on.

I've heard you might be getting a boob job or a new car. And let me guess he's going to pay or it... wow he is amazing. You finally got your place to live tooo. The grail of your existence-living with someone, any guy- is finally coming into light. And your happy he pays more rent 1500/800. All in a month- well 2..! Holy cow. What an incredible guy! A real financial planner. What did you always used to say? --"im not ****. im just not that type of girl" -insert materialistic... but you've always had to have 3 pairs of the same shoe in three different colors from nordstroms, always had to look like holywood. Had to have 100 of the same bras in 100 different colors. You are exactly what you tried to tell me your not.
Lol you left me for a drinking meat head- I saw his myspace. Haha serious? So he thinks you might be better if you were improved? Nice. Hmm I loved you for you. But that wasn't enough and you never saw that ideal. But screw up your nice real boobs - that's the only real thing left about you anyway.

Susi, what did you do to yourself?? Were you always like this? I'm beginning to believe you were. I've learned all about you lately. It Didn't MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I OPENED THE DOOR FOR YOU, HOW MANY TIMES I SAID I LOVED YOU OR THOUGHT YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL, OR HOW MANY TIMES I KISSED YOU OR SENT YOU FLOWERS, IT WAS NEVER ENOUGH. YOU JUST Didn't SEE IT ANYMORE- I THOUGHT YOU WERE PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL and crap -you don't need a boobjob, but YOU Don't REMEMBER ANY OF THAT --and only someone new could make it all seem so special. You've lied to yourself and your friends and parents. I TOLD YOU HOW MUCH YOU MEANT TO ME AND HOW I WAS NOTHING WITHOUT YOU but you never listened. YOU are HIGH MAINTENANCE, getting sick every time I wanted to visit my family so I would just tend to you alone...

I don't know if you were always like that but your at least becoming it... why? If you were normal we would have worked out in the first place, I would have brought you with me in the first place.

In the end, all of this had nothing to do with me- but you needed a fall guy... a bad guy... so thanks for making me your bad guy...
You hate looking bad.. and I've been a stand up guy! A really nice guy. I mean what reason really do your parents and friends have to hate me? None- except what you've told them. I told everyone I loved you! My friends and family thought I was going to marry you. I used to ask, very interested, how your parents or kim was... yet they hate me... I asked how your brother or his family was and yet I'm sure mike doesn't like me either. Based on what I know about you susi, I'm sure you probably forwarded my emails to them also- which is kind of ed up because they meant the world to me. And they were private. They were love letters to you alone.

I showed you how much I loved you. Sent you flowers so many times. If it makes you happy to make me the bad guy then good for you. You're a really nice person. But you can't justify the bull reason you left, and you know I'm a good guy and so your trying to validate your bs reasoning.

I got to watch from afar you get played by a new guy, watch him tell you how magical it would be for you to meet the angels and ooh wow a new apartment!- money/hollywood stuff like cars and fake books- the place to live has been your aspiration since you were born after all. Finally your on the uphill path to finally get married!! He's total marriage material! Why did you tell me all this? It WAS vindictive. "i would never ****. im just not that type of girl" --insert vindictive.

Meanwhile I spent months trying to get you back, trying to show you my love, wrote you letters, seek personal advice from everyone on what I needed to do to be a better guy for you. I tried to contact you on whatever means you would let me. I tried to explain the reasoning for my hardship in demonstrating my love, that I was in school... but you push so hard and cut me off at my knees by really saying some rude, mean things. You told me volumes of information about robert and greg and that's just not right. You told me I was mean at heart. Which simply isn't true. I'm actually a very nice guy. And everything I'm writing about shows how mean you truly are if you don't get what you want. Did you really tell me not to go to medic school because then I wouldn't be able to see you? I would only go to build a future for us. How short sighted are you?

--
I NEVER CALLED YOU A WHORE! That is a blatent LIE! But I'm sure it does wonders to support pushing me away... I said I knew you were seeing greg and you said I called you a whore. You lied to everyone, including yourself. But now its clear you do use sex as a tool to get what you want. I'm sure greg is totally locked in by now. I was a sucker too. Better him than me

I was a stand up guy and very nice to you. But you really burned me -you have a way of cutting a guy off at his knees and you left me no opportunities to repair our difficulties. In the end, you did me wrong... and maybe now your friends can know about it. I lent you money, to help you out through financial struggle. And you have no intentions of ever paying me back "i would never ****. im just not that type of girl" - insert "wouldnt accept money and not pay back" your not making any effort to pay me back I know... I'm sure your spending money on hotels and junk for him. Thanks. Simple birthday card? no. o well its your character flaw --not mine :)

Lastely this was never about me or us. -It was always about YOU. Only you alone. Susi you don't realize it but discussion always circles round to you. My grandma dies and all we talked about was your grandpa. It's really kind of sick and again, perhaps your friends or even you, someday, will realize how you do this. You don't truly care about anyone but yourself. Anything we ever talked about, you always had an opinion on how it affected you. Marriage wasn't about making a happy family or being a great partnership it was how you felt or how well you going to be off or what I could offer you. That's it.

You will live your life. Obviously without me. Your new relationship won't work either. I guarantee it. I also bet you'll try to prove me wrong by doing just that. Making it work. But in the end, you'll mess it up- just like ours. You won't be happy. Yull try again and again. Get more things and becoming your idea of a trophy wife. But you still won't be happy. When the honeymoon is over and the blinders have been lifted, when your getting old, have a few kids, been through several marriages, yul know that there was ryan in the beginning trying to work hard for the relationship, do the decent thing and be good to you. Ryan would have given you everything but it was never enough

Finally, here's a copy of that email I sent you. -i meant every word of it from the bottom of my heart. This was the most sincere thing I've ever written --wow. I was a really bad guy... and so crazy! Thanks for never responding to the email... you must have really loved me.


---

[talaniman]

Even better rant, I know you feel better unloading that. You should be happy she s out of your life.

[naivedude]

She's lied to everyone about me only to support what a bad girl she is. Should I share this with her? Or our friends? Anyone. She should stop

[starlite1]

Hi Naïve,

They are great letters, however, if you share them with her, what kind of response do you think you would get from her? Honestly, she doesn't sound to me too deserving of your heartfelt letters. I don't mean to sound harsh, I just don't want you to feel pain from this woman any more.

[talaniman]

shes lied to everyone about me only to support what a bad girl she is. should i share this with her? or our friends? anyone. she should stop

Say nothing to anyone, believe it or not, the ones that know you won't believe her, and the rest don't count.

She will get hers, just worry about your own healing.

[thoughtiwastheman]

Nice rant. Feel better?

Hahahaha.

[RedneckMama]

"should i share this with her? or our friends?"

... I know you might think showing this to her and your friends might salvage what reputation as a man you have left with them; but, really, all I think it will serve to do is to cement that 'crazy ex boyfriend' hype she's already started about you..
... It might do you some good to just ignore all the rumors she's started and try your best to put it all behind you--let people think what they will, if they are truly your friends they'll move right on with you...

[vivia12]

So this is the wayit is, I always run into guys who can be just as cruel and heartless,which gave me perceptions that's how men generally are,but look at this guy naïve makes you realize that everyone goes through this
I hope naïve keep his cool and don't send any letters to his ex-he is what I call in thepanic stage and believe me that will give the ex more ammunition to stay away even if they don't deserve the attention.
This is the time to stay close to friends,family,go out with them,take a vacation
Delete exes contact so you won't drunk dial her while out with friends
Tehres lots of posts on this,stay strong,just take it one day at a time.

[naivedude]

Can I send anything?? I hate being in this position. I DID NOTHING!!

I heard that your telling everyone I called you a whore? I never said that! You said it! You said 'so your calling me a whore?' only because I found out you were seeing greg. Way to turn that on me. Why did you flip out on me? I did EVERYTHING I could to make our relationship work. I bought you an engagement ring. I tried to leave you on good terms after you didn't answer my love letter and finally had to say I was done with u. I just said I knew what was up and you said F U [ME] I WILL NEVER GET WITH GREG. NEVER HAVE NEVER WILL. Umm... Right I can see that... U didn't stop there tho- u had to go and keep slingin $hit over the wall though. Why? I'm thinking its to justify why your full throttle with a guy after only a month- letting him get you boobs, a place and car? Are you kidding? And after wanting to marry me only a couple months ago... Now this guy is marriage material... u switched your love off like a light switch and that's gross. And I'm the messed up one?.
I don't care anymore susi. I loved you with all my heart, told you that everyday, I told you how I thought you were perfect and beautiful everyday too but it was never enuf and finally you burned me. And then you tell everyone this? I was the one sending love letters and flowers- never you. Stop trying to get back at me. That's not right. Maybe you can have me when you grow up and its not like high school drama with u. I poured my heart into you and you trashed it! I'm happy right now though. So leave me alone. Why did you tell me all about robert and greg? U know I can do that too-- I've been busy too AND U MADE ME HAVE TO DO THIS!! - I've dated julie (not the one you were always jealous of), camme, kelly(not that one either), sarah, laura, jackie, katie, karen and I think that's it... I also met someone special- julie is really hot and nice too. She's an actress & model, she's not concerned with money and what she's getting from me 247 like u. Her world doesn't revolve around moving in with a guy. She actually treats me well, isn't jealous of everyone, and doesn't give me 1000 rules, which is a nice change. Doesn't judge me 247, hate my friends, love only 'things' about me like you and can actually be reasonable. She's just normal, doesn't lie to her friends and parents that she's seeing me. I might be getting a chick roommate too actually and only you know what that means- wink wink. Remember the lady that walks her dog? Her 21yo grandaugter -nice girl...
So talk . U can't be mean to me anymore. Every girl I tell I almost married you and then you squashed my dreams, falls in love with me... Everyone thinks I am amazing. It just doesn't hurt anymore. The love was there but you spit on it. I wasn't a bad guy and you know that. The only thing I ever did to you was show I had emotions and feelings toward u. u took advantage and devastated me. You fn hurt me and you watched as I cried to you. But shame on me for all of it. "Its my fault again"- I got used to that phrase. I went to therapy and read books, tried talking to people to keep our relationship alive, but I wasn't the one messed up - you were! I was committed to the long run with u. I wanted a real adult relationship, a house, a family...
Keep justifying everything in your life... People WILL catch on. If anyone read some of the things you said to me they would cringe in disgust and disbelief. But I beared it and I let my love for you push me hard through your mud. You were mean and more vindictive than anyone I've ever met. You wanted to make sure I was the bad guy to draw all the negative attention off what your doing. That's just wrong. But I have to say enough to u. So I stopped it. I was done, more done than you. So u flipped out and told everyone I called you a whore, which I didn't. Please leave me alone. Keep shifting the blame. People will learn the truth. And what comes around goes around. Even trish and stef called me for my birthday. What a couple sweethearts. You obviously really loved me

[sokay]

How about this:

Susi-

I treated you well and I don't know why you pretend that I called you names. I never have and never would call you names. I stopped calling you and coming by as soon as you asked me to. I wrote you a love letter and you never responded. I don't think you appreciate me or my love, and so I just want you to know I'm moving on. I truly hope you have a good life. Goodbye.

-Ryan

Then move on.

[JBeaucaire]

Well, on the other side of this torrent, since you can pour THIS much energy into an emotional deluge over someone who doesn't think about you the same way (any longer)...

... imagine... just for a moment... how AWESOME it's going to be when you're with someone who feels about you the same way you feel about her. Won't that actually be BETTER?

... imagine... just for a moment... someone who you can write prolific messages like this to... but instead of pain and despair and loss and "oh woe is me"... instead it's page after page of earth-moving love and adoration... adoration that is returned back to you in kind.

... imagine that... just for a moment.

[naivedude]

I wrote this a month ago and got no reply...

I am sorry for how its been. I hope you can understand that's it's only because I
Still care. I fought hard for you, poured my heart into it but I know now
Its over... I know you were a good girl to me and I loved you for it. I'm
Sorry our relationship really went south with the IMs at work and everything
Else... I tried. I know you were frustrated when I didn't make things happen
And I ask your forgiveness. I had bad communication- I just wanted it slow...
Don't worry though, I will respect your wishes, I'm not going to talk to you
Anymore... despite the frustration on both our parts, I hope we can leave on
Good terms... I'm really not creepy or psycho or anything. I'm still that same
<me>you fell in love with and lived with while I was at 0000... I just lost
Someone I LOVED TREMENDOUSLY and up until now, I was still in shock. My
Behavior was erratic because it's a tough spot to be in... I remember you saying
You would wait forever for me and I have felt the same way. I only wanted to
Be with you, together, always in eachther's company. If you want, we can
Never talk again... I will leave you alone and go on my own... or we can be
Friends again someday... perhaps even try again someday... but I know
There's no guarantees, I know. I will probably have a house very soon and I'm
Keeping myself very busy... heck I got my six pack back solid and my arms
And chest are huger than ever (so I'm making good progress and those pills
Seem to work)... but I can't sit around and wait for you... its killing me...
Some of my friends' wives are up to it again and really want me to meet
Their 'cool single girl friends' and up until now I've been avoiding them because
I fought for just you -the one I love. They're nice... one of the girls
Looks like you which is different. But I don't want to replace you- I don't
Want that at all. I hate dating and I don't want to meet new people. I hate
Being forced to move on, but I'm getting better at it... I still have that
Ring... and I wish you could have seen it because its beautiful. I don't know
What to do with it but I will figure something out. Its thunder and
Lightning right now... :) but everyone knows how this works, I have to work
On forgetting you, get mad at you, and I hate that idea, because I do still
Care. But if you want me to move on and just forget what we had, I will
Respect you.
I would have been dedicated and committed to you forever. I would have gone
The distance. But I will let go and start over

Very respectfully yours

<me>

I never got a reply because I don't think she ever forgave me for the "wh0re" thing, which I will remind you I never said. She called herself that

[RedneckMama]

"i never got a reply because i dont think she ever forgave me for the "wh0re" thing, which i will remind u i never said. she called herself that"

... I disagree... I think she didn't reply because she's moved on.. she wants nothing more to do with you relationship-wise... and she's proved this by ignoring all communication you're sending her way, even those lines filled with good intentions...

... I've noticed you seem a little hung up on this 'whore' thing that she's claiming you called her... but let me point this out to you: If it's true that you never outright called her a whore, then she already KNOWS THIS; and therefore does not hold it against you! She may only be using this 'he called me a whore' comment for empathy's sake when it comes to explaining to mutual friends about the straw that broke the camel's back... but even if she spreads it far and wide and claims that this ONE WORD was the end all be all to your relationship... don't you get hung up on that part... She left, it doesn't sound like she's interested anymore... it doesn't even matter what her reason is anymore...

If a posted rant is what you need to help gut yourself of her and the pain she caused you, then by all means go for it... but it won't bring her back...

[naivedude]

I just hate leaving this where it stands. I can't stand it!!

I got blamed from not loveing her enough, blamed for not telling her she was pretty, blamed for being upset she wouldn't listen, blamed for feeling ANYTHING, and now blamed for flipping out and also for calling her a name I never said. All I did was love her but I got blamed for all of the bull she's trying to pull. I can't believe she turned this all on me!!
So in the end I got blamed for just wanting to love her in the first place w t f
I'm sure I sound crazy, but I didn't know how to handle loss, sadness, frustration and all these accusations at the same time!!
I HATE HER for doing this and then moving on soooo fn quick! She is so happy now! And hates me for no real reason!

I would tell her 'fine you can move on but please don't trash me in the process. I meant the best for both of us. You were everything to me'

[JBeaucaire]

She can move on as long as she follows your instructions on how she's allowed to do that? You get to tell her what she can say or to whom, and she has to acknowledge your position on her way out the door?

Holy cow, man, your dream world is global! Nobody gets those things. Nobody.

All you get to do is take the high road and get on with living... or NOT. So far you're choosing not.

[vivia12]

Naïve... what did I just tell you