[Edensmimi]

First of all thanks for any opinions I get on this. I have been married for 3 years and have known him for over 4. During our dating period he cheated on me, (2 times) I caught him, and was ready to leave, he convinced me to give him another chance he loved me and wanted to change. I must say since that day (until now) he has never given me any reason to think otherwise that he truly changed. I still up until about 9 months ago would throw it in his face, which I know was wrong, I chose to forgive him and even marry him after he did it. Here's the deal 3 months ago I won some tickets to a race and had extras, well he gave some to the guys at work and some to a girl he works with. When we were on our way to the race he got a phone call, I could plainly hear it was a girls voice and when he hung up he said oh that was Scott, I immediately told him he was lying I heard the girls voice, he even went as far as to OK man to her lol I told him he made it bad by lying to me, he said he would have been wrong either way, which I disagreed. He comes home last night to tell me that girl had been promoted and would now be working in his office. He said he told me so I wouldn't think he had anything to hide or before anyone else told me. Let me tell you this, I don't associate or talk to anyone at his job unless we see one of them at a festival. Do you fell he was being on the up and up? He is never sneaking around on his phone, getting strange calls, or even late getting home for that matter. He always answers his phone when I call. Even back 9 months ago when I doubted he was at his office he told me to call his office line (we always talk on his cell) and he would answer it to prove to me he was there. I am gaining back my trust for him and this issue really isn't bothering me inside like when I caught him cheating, just wondering if he told me for the reason he said. Now that I have totally confused you, I await your much valued opinions. Please remember this sweet man helps me raise 2 grand children that are not biologically his, and he never gripes or says a word about it.

[N0help4u]

You need to give him the benefit of the doubt. If you don't your insecurity could drive him right into another ones arms even if it wasn't his intention. BUT watch for the red flags IF there are any.

[Edensmimi]

You need to give him the benefit of the doubt. If you don't your insecurity could drive him right into another ones arms even if it wasn't his intention. BUT watch for the red flags IF there are any.

That's the thing I really don't feel insecure, was actually just wondering why he felt compelled to tell me. I am A LOT better at trusting him then I used to be ;)

[darodriguez1973]

You are valid in your concerns about his "lying" to you. He may have told you it was Scott simply because he knows the way you are. To be honest with you its none of your business who he is on the phone with anyway. Please don't take that the wrong way what I'm trying to say is that these little things can and do ruin relationships. The fact that he cheated on you twice in such a short amount of time is also a clue to how strong your marriage really is. First time shame on him second time shame on you.

[Edensmimi]

You are valid in your concerns about his "lying" to you. He may have told you it was Scott simply because he knows the way you are. To be honest with you its none of your business who he is on the phone with anyway. Please dont take that the wrong way what im trying to say is that these little things can and do ruin relationships. The fact that he cheated on you twice in such a short amount of time is also a clue to how strong your marriage really is. First time shame on him second time shame on you.

I am not so easily upset or get angry over someone's opinion. Your facts are a bit off so let me help you out... I never asked him who it was, he offered. I don't ask who he is talking to, he always tells me as the majority of his calls are work related and he likes to talk about it. I agree with the old shame on stuff, except we were not married when he did that it was when we first met and was DATING only. It was over a yr after that I married him. I figured if he could go a year of proving to me he was changing that it was safe to say history was not likely to repeat itself. Since posting that he and I have talked and he sweetly explained to me that he had changed and was just wanting to be open and honest as he knew that day he lied to me he was wrong and should had given ME the benefit of the doubt that I wouldn't be upset. Thank you for your opinion, and you are right he lied because he was unsure of my reaction to it, and I now know there is nothing more to it, then him proving once again he has truly changed and it is me he only wants and loves!